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Interview française de Benedict Cumberbatch à propos d’Alan Turing

Anybody else feel the same way about the Ben/Sophie thing…

My dear sir
I have a bone to pick with you
It eats at me
Causes me consternation
I roll it over in my mind
I can find no peace
You sir profess to traditionalism
To keeping with the old customs
To biding with cultural acceptability
But sir you do me wrong
Indeed you do a great misdeed
Your words say one thing
Your efforts another
A simple announcement of your engagement
Quietly placed
Carefully worded
Coinciding with the requirements of polite society
Mary Post would have approved
Miss Manners applauded
Your nod to proper courtesy causing a ripple of high regard for your appropriateness
And you sir bask in your propriety
Remind us daily of your consonant decorum
But sir
Behind the sheer curtain of your seemliness lurks the truth
Of an elicit child growing in the belly of your affianced
Casting a bulging shadow over your noteworthy respectability
Raising silent questions of integrity
Of unspoken hypocrisy
And yet all remains quiet but for your cries of privacy
However the fact remains
A new life develops in utero
And you forgot to wrap your willy
Now you face a new challenge
Truly ‘tis no man’s business but yours
And no woman’s but hers
The details concern me not
But professing to adhere to tradition
While clearly acting to the contrary
Well sir
You wound me with your dishonesty
And snub me with the futility of it
The having of a child brings great joy
Do not hide behind a false facade
But come forth
Show a father’s delightful face
Share the anticipation of birth
Tell of your plans, worries and anxieties
Bring back your good cheer
Return to your spontaneity
‘Tis much better than faulty pretense and calculated fakery
Carefully placed alongside drab and colorless answers
©kcasady2015

8

Interviewer: When Tom Hiddleston was on the show a few months back…

BC: That old bore!

Interviewer: He started doing his Shere Khan voice.

BC: Oh for Christ’s sake, can’t he just leave off my patch for one split second?

Interviewer: Is your Shere Khan better than Tom Hiddleston’s?

BC: [ironically] Clearly… I mean I got the role. What more proof is there than that?

BC: Listen, I don’t like competing with Tom. He is too much of a dear friend. There are loads of friends, including him…we will have crossovers with classical roles and reprisals.

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