idk why it’s so laughed off that poc kids put up with parental abuse with less support from other poc than whites give other whites regarding parental abuse (tho the state criminalizes the hell out of poc parents for shit it wouldn’t touch if a white parent was doing it—i’m not talking about how whites look at our parents here, i’m talking about other poc).
like my parents hit me occasionally, protected and defended my sexual predator uncle who abused me, and threw me out when i was 14 for being trans and doing drugs. like everyone pretty much agrees that was fucked up and abusive.
but like my other poc friends have been abused in ways fellow poc don’t recognize as abuse. emotional manipulation and constant belittling about their looks, their sexuality, their choice in partners in general, their intelligence, etc.; physical abuse that wasn’t “over the top” like the closed-fist punches to the face i got; invasions of privacy; deprivation (food, transportation to important things (not social or shopping etc., like their own music recitals and college application interviews and stuff)). and ALL of this is abuse or otherwise fucked up.
and i don’t think it’s funny when we look at white kids characterizing their parents doing the same thing as abuse. they’re usually right—they ARE being abused. and so were we.
and i feel like it contributes to how we collectively do little about this to help kids of color. instead we laugh it off like talking about parental abuse is a white thing and we shouldn’t do it.
i’m not fucking okay with this trope at all. and it’s taken me years to figure out how exactly precisely goodly to articulate it but surprise: 4:30 am is a magic hour.