creepyfaggot

name.
Frank Hinton

age.
29

occupation.
Marketing and Communications Director

1. what is your present state of mind?

It is 10:32 p.m. I am in a Ramada in Frankfurt moderately buzzing on apple wine and working on a package of mixed Haribo licorice+gummies. I am concerned about my weight because I broke down and ate some weird french fry and sauce dish downtown today and I haven’t been to the gym in 2 weeks. Every few minutes I go and run the stairs in the hotel and then do a 60 second plank. Then I come back to my ipad and check facebook and play automated cribbage while nursing the apple wine. Simultaneously, I am fantasizing about getting a hazelnut bar from downstairs and almost unconsciously spooning these Haribos into my mouth while compartmentalizing my angst about probable weight gain. This seems to be my normal travel mindset.

I am wearing dirty pjs and have the AC on high and am listening to Julian Lynch.



2. where were you born?

Halifax, Nova Scotia

3. where do you live now?

Halifax, Nova Scotia

4. where would you like to live?

I would like to live in Fukuoka or Munich or Montreal. Those are the only places I have liked as much as Halifax. Basically, I like living in a clean place with friendly people. I would like to live in New York but living in America frightens me because it is such an extreme country and I worry about going to hospitals or getting fat. I think my ideal city needs to have a huge park and be far away from my family.



5. do you think you’re interesting?

I don’t know. I think I’m nice and I think that there are other people who like me and that feels nice. I get complimented at least once a week and that seems like more than any person could ask for or really need. I think I am playful in a way that people find interesting but I don’t know.. I am probably moderately intriguing to most.



6. how is your love life?

I think it is adequate. I probably achieve 4-10 orgasms a month. I think I am a generally sexual person with very few perversions but a good deal of lust and desire.

7. what were you like as a child?

Age 0-4 

I was a prized only-child known for cute behavior and odd but adorable comments. I was raised primarily by my grandfather who was the the only parent to ever provide me with unconditional love.

Age 5-12

I was a generally quiet and good student that was close to the popular children but never part of their in-crowd because I was fat, odd and poorly dressed. I read a lot and played SNES with my cousins (all boys) and began to isolate myself because my father seemed to genuinely not give s shit about my existence and that left me feeling inadequate and unwhole as a human.

Age 12-18 

I blossomed physically and in turn became very popular. I was featured on school sports teams and in plays and I enjoyed frequent parties and drinking festivities. I began having casual sex and seeing my body as a tool and object with which to control my social position. I fell in love with my History teacher at this time and also became obsessed with journaling.

Age 18-25

Attended University and had a standard experience. Majored in Business and Political Science then topped up a victory lap with an English major. I drank a lot and exercised a lot and met all of my closest friends and began to study marketing and internet identity at this time.

Age 25 on

Nothing really has happened. I have a nice job and a pseudonymous online personality which in turn is a writer. I no longer feel like a child.

8. what did you eat today?

A glass of orange juice, Muesli and yogurt, a mini-croissant, an egg white, a bowl of mixed fruit, 5 cups of coffee, a french fry goop thing, a tofu salad, a hazelnut bar, a bag of Haribo treats, apple wine, some beer, lots of mineral water.

9. have you ever created culture or art?

Yes, I have written and published a number of stories. I have a novel coming out later this month. It’s called Action, Figure. I host a litzine called Metazen that publishes stories and poems five days a week. I also host Alt Lit Gossip which seems to have a life of its own and chronicles the lives and goings on of a community of online writers.

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs?

I enjoy drinking regularly and am not opposed to people using drugs recreationally although I am presently drug free. I think my goal is to eventually go alcohol free as well, although this may not be possible unless I seal my mouth.


11. what kind of people do you hate?


I don’t hate, but I intensely dislike people that have no awareness of their surroundings i.e stand in places where people are meant to walk through. I really don’t like people who think they are great and have no traces of humbleness. I am put off by grandeur and intellectualism for the sake of demeaning others. I don’t easily forgive people that regularly gossip or bash others. I can’t be around glass-half-full personalities. I also can’t be near dull people without imagination or humor for too long.

12. what are your goals, if you have any?

I don’t know I want to be able to enter a meditative state with a higher frequency. Saying this is almost a function of ego, but I would really like to achieve enlightenment in the Eastern sense of the word. My major goal in life has been to have a novel published (http://www.tinyhardcorepress.com/books/current-titles/action-figure/), anything published after that would be cherries. My life is complete I think.

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life?

Yes. A lot of my early twenties were filled with first world problems related to heartbreak and existential angst and spiritual turmoil and a sense of being misunderstood and other stupid little bitchy things.

14. who are your favorite authors?

David Foster Wallace and Dostoyevsky. I really do love Blake Butler and xTx and Marcus Speh as writers. I have read everything by Dennis Cooper, Tao Lin, Haruki Murakami, Burroughs, Scott McClanahan and Ellis. I keep a reading journal here
http://saladpaper.blogspot.com/


15.what will you be doing ten years from now?

I imagine most of the same. Trying to imbibe all I can and understand the confusing things around me. Saving up for a modest amount of travel, writing, mediating. I will work hard to be less neurotic and skinny. I might have a garden of some sort.

name. daniel alexander

age. 19



occupation. student 







1. what is your present state of mind?


 i feel great. i just sat in the dark for 30minutes while listening to whale sounds to see if I could come up with any ideas about making my life better. i like doing that. im kind of hungry. im drinking water.

2. where were you born?

 fort worth texas. i remember the hospital i was born in. i haven’t seen it in years but it reminds me of the tower of terror ride at disney world.

3. where do you live now? 


i live in burleson texas. it is 15 minutes south of fort worth. 




4. where would you like to live?


 i haven’t visited many places that i’d might like to live in but i want to travel around and have fun on planet earth. maybe somewhere in space on a future colony i think that would be rad.

5. do you think you’re interesting?

yes id like to think I am. I just like making things that people like and have fun with. everything i do now people connect with so im pretty confident that the answer is yes. i love the fact that knowing everything I make, weather it be music/videos/writings, that people will be able to view it for years to come. my grandkids might probably read this. that is a great thought to think about. it is nice. 




6. how is your love life?

not really existent right now. busy focusing on school/work right now. i love my snacks and cats though.

7. what were you like as a child? 


here is a picture of me as a kid http://i.imgur.com/ucbay.jpg

i was in the hospital from age 1-4 for problems with my health. had a lot of surgery but i am perfect now. the first day of kindergarten i slipped on wet cement and hit my head on a metal chair and had to get 24 stitches. i had a lightning scar before harry potter. i wore a lot of goosebumps and animal shirts. i used to ride my cat like a horse. i had a lot of fun as a kid. when i was 7 my dad kicked a soccer ball at my left arm and broke it and i had to get a cast. the next week we went to disney world and people asked me what happened to my arm and i said ‘daddy did it’

8. what did you eat today?


in order; 2 cups of coffee, honey bunches of oats cereal with milk, a bag of cheetos, a bag of doritos, bottle of water, peanut butter and jelly sandwich with honey on wheat toast and the peanut butter being chunky, diet pepsi, a huge peach, another diet pepsi, half a plate of spaghetti, a whole xl heresy chocolate bar, 3 slices of lemon bread/cake, bottle of water. i love food and snacks a lot. i am underweight and have been all my life. im not sure why.




9. have you ever created culture or art?

creating things is what i do. i make music. i make videos. i make art. hope to one day build up a culture and community. 

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs?

nope, just snacks.

11. what kind of people do you hate?


i don’t particularly ‘hate’ anyone. i see everyone as the same. everyone is just a person on earth. doing whatever they are doing. i want to try and meet everyone. everyone has a story. everyone is interesting. i like that idea.

12. what are your goals, if you have any?

after school i hope to travel around doing documentary work. my main goal in life is to just be happy. if i am doing anything i hate im not going to settle for it. i want to do what i love.

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life?

in 3rd grade we had 2 pet hamsters. they didn’t get a long. One day we came into class and one of the hamsters beat up and ate/killed the other hamster. it was all bloody in the cage. we buried it underneath a tree in the cemetery across the street. i want to go back and dig it up someday i think that would be cool.




14. who are your favorite authors?

ive barley read for fun while growing up. i like reading short ebooks & all the writing on the internet. im not that into reading novels. the alt lit scene has opened this question up to me. i think if you asked me this question again sometime in the future this answer would be different.

15.what will you be doing ten years from now?


hopefully doing something i love and being happy.

name. jordan castro

age. 19

occupation. writer/musician.


1. what is your present state of mind?

turnt up. ready. focused. it’s 6:14AM. i’m sitting at a big ass desk in a leather chair in the office room at my friend ziggy’s parents’ house doing things on my laptop. i smoked ~6 blunts earlier and am currently on ~40mg adderall, ~2.5mg xanax, & ~20.4 oz sugar free red bull while drinking canada dry brand ginger ale and deer park brand bottled water. i spent the night with the squad, playing music, talking, writing, recording, turning up, etc. My YG zach is going off to school on saturday, so tonight was kind of our “last shabang,” so to speak. feel inspired. also realizing that it’s been a while since i’ve smoked a cigarette (brb).



2. where were you born?

hillcrest hospital in mayfield heights, ohio.



3. where do you live now?

solon, ohio.



4. where would you like to live?

[somewhere besides my parents’ house], ohio.



5. do you think you’re interesting?

i don’t think i’m interesting or not interesting.



6. how is your love life?

married to the game.



7. what were you like as a child?

at age 4, i told my parents i didn’t believe in santa claus. at age 8, i’d go to barbecue’s at my best friend thomas’ house and freestyle rap in the basement with his brother “big mike” and his gang/friends from cleveland (thomas, many years later, ended up stealing $800 from me during [illegal activity removed]). i first got drunk and high at age 11. my parents tell me i was “a sweet, loving brother.” i played baseball/basketball until 7th grade, which was the same year i got caught stealing a three-six mafia cd & skipping school to go to the skate park. at age 12, i started reading literature daily. at age 14, writing daily.



8. what did you eat today?

2x banana, 1x cliff bar, 1x piece cheese pizza, 2x ‘bite’ of a chipotle burrito.



9. have you ever created culture or art?

http://animalsorrow.com/



10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs?

yes, to some degree. i feel like addiction can be really shitty, via experience - i’ve been struggling with it recently, re painkillers, and used to drink daily from ages 16-17. i think i have what most would call an “addictive personality.”

i think i like certain drugs in terms of certain things, but also understand how they can be harmful for certain people, including myself, in certain contexts, etc.



11. what kind of people do you hate?

people who aren’t ‘real,’ in my opinion. people who use terms like ‘good,’ ‘bad,’ ‘right,’ and/or ‘wrong’ unsarcastically. people who are actively concerned about things like being ‘hip,’ ‘relevant,’ ‘popular,’ etc. people who say or do things with the intention of ‘hurting’ me or people who i like. people who try to ‘capitalize’ on or ‘exploit,’ in my view, certain lifestyles or cultures that they haven’t lived before said lifestyle/culture became ‘popular.’ people who tell the police information that can get other people in trouble. the list goes on. i don’t know. i don’t think i ‘hate’ [aforementioned people]. i encourage people to think/say/do what they want, i just don’t like being around or thinking about or interacting with certain people. i don’t know. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIh0MMm6TyE



12. what are your goals, if you have any?

move out of my parents’ house, finish my short story collection/novel, feel less shitty about myself, experience things, etc.



13. do you have any depressing stories about your life?

http://animalsorrow.com/.



14. who are your favorite authors?

http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/1168060?shelf=read



15.what will you be doing ten years from now?

what i want to be doing and what i will be doing in ten years could be completely different things. i could be dead in ten years. if not, i’ll be writing and playing music. ‘til the day i die i’ll be doing me though, one thing about it two things for sure.

name. ana carrete 

age. 26

occupation. grad student, teacher assistant, poet 

1. what is your present state of mind? 

love/ don’t want to go back to school 

2. where were you born? 

chula vista, california 

3. where do you live now? 

san diego, california and tijuana, mexico.

4. where would you like to live? 

……………?

5. do you think you’re interesting? 

i think everyone is interesting so yes i’m interesting too

6. how is your love life? 

so good <3

7. what were you like as a child? 

very shy, quiet, smart, awkward, ufsi. at first, i was okay with playing with kids my age when i went to parties but soon i started to sit with all the moms at parties and just pay attention. i hated when they tried to make me dance. 

8. what did you eat today? 

half quesadilla

9. have you ever created culture or art? 

yes

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs? 

yes because it makes me less awkward  

11. what kind of people do you hate? 

bullies. lots of people. 

12. what are your goals, if you have any? 

i don’t have any clear goals like ‘work [place goes here]’ but i want to love and write forever 

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life? 

all my life i hated p.e. class and it made me cry a lot 

i cried a lot and people laughed at me 

boys would say things with double meaning and i wouldn’t understand because i was too innocent/ dumb

went to catholic school from pre-school to high school 

people made fun of me because i went to church every sunday 

confused about god in general because i was(?) catholic for so long

one time (in school) a boy sang limp bizkit’s nookie to me and i was really confused. had no idea was ‘nookie’ was 

my first cd was one about the dancing baby [google: ooga chaka dancing baby] because i thought i was buying a screen-saver but it wasn’t. it was just music and it sucked. 

14. who are your favorite authors? 

Juan Rulfo, Miguel de Unamuno, Mike Bushnell, Miranda July, Eileen Myles, Noah Cicero, Sam Pink, Richard Chiem, Sharon Olds. 

15.what will you be doing ten years from now? 

watching clueless and hopefully not having a middle-age crisis 

name.  Blake Butler

age. 33

occupation. Lots of shit

1. what is your present state of mind?

Kind of just sitting here. Ate a sandwich like 15 minutes ago. Feel a little more energized than usual though that’s probably about to turn into me lying on the floor.

2. where were you born? 

Marietta, GA

3. where do you live now? 

Atlanta, GA

4. where would you like to live? 

Probably will stay right here, I’m too lazy to move and nowhere else seems that much cooler. 

5. do you think you’re interesting? 

Depends on who you’re talking to. I’m probably not that interesting to someone who surfs a lot or does surgeries. I tried to think of an example of someone I could be interesting to but I’m not sure. I like quiet.

6. how is your love life?

I like it.

7. what were you like as a child? 

Loud talkative kind of demanding at home but shy around strangers hungry talked to myself a lot I liked to read and made up songs about shit all the time probably would find myself very annoying now had a bowl cut my mom dressed me nicely I remember time used to seem so long

8. what did you eat today? 

Greek yogurt, a lot of coffee, a mini Kit Kat bar, a turkey sandwich

9. have you ever created culture or art? 

Sure

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs? 

I drink usually to feel drunk on average twice a week though sometimes more and sometimes less maybe. I don’t really use drugs besides caffeine. I have never smoked pot even. I think I used to be afraid of trying it and now I just don’t care. I text messaged my friend the other night when I was drunk to ask him if I should try DMT because people were talking about taking DMT, I guess when I’m drunk I consider the option but would never actually I think really do it.

11. what kind of people do you hate?

People who talk about themselves too much without realizing they are doing that. People who can’t drive well that are in other cars near me while I am driving. People who talk about politics on the internet. Well, I mean, I hate that those people do those things. Some of my friends do those things and then they stop doing them and I like them again. I think in general I’m easygoing though when I alone I feel more volatile and gnashy.

12. what are your goals, if you have any? 

I guess my goal is work hard at my writing, though I wouldn’t say that aloud except in the way I just did. I work a lot but I keep it in my mind in a very abstract sense. I like to give myself shit while also working hard.

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life? 

I’m tired of being sad about real things. I’d rather it come out in other ways.

14. who are your favorite authors? 

I don’t know anymore really. I used to be the kind of person that would obsess over certain figures and like wait for things and devour them as soon as I could but now things feel more flattened out. It’s not necessarily bad. I like a lot of things enough. I think the last book that really affected me was The Recognitions, which I’d been avoiding reading for years.

15.what will you be doing ten years from now?

Probably either the same thing I do now or nothing.

name. sarah jean alexander

age. 24

occupation. i work at a bar

1. what is your present state of mind? 

very tired via walking around a lot tonight/missing my roommate who is in ireland.

2. where were you born? 

waynesboro, pennsylvania

3. where do you live now? 

baltimore

4. where would you like to live? 

chicago, and maybe seattle or toronto or boston, i don’t know, i haven’t been to seattle or toronto or boston but have heard positive things about those places.

5. do you think you’re interesting? 

this question stresses me out. but yeah i think so.

6. how is your love life? 

dead

7. what were you like as a child? 

i wanted to grow up to be a squirrel. i was a tomboy. i was an asian kid with a bowlcut. i made elton john music videos. i told the kids in my second grade class that korean people ate human tits and asses and my mom had to come in and talk to the principal.

8. what did you eat today? 

a tomato mozzarella sandwich, a lot of coffee, peanuts, sunflower seeds.

9. have you ever created culture or art? 

is twitter ‘art’ yet

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs? 

yes a lot

11. what kind of people do you hate? 

phillies fans

12. what are your goals, if you have any? 

write everyday, get better at the internet, get published, not get pregnant.

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life? 

i got my heart broken in february 2012 lol and i still feel like shit over it.

14. who are your favorite authors? 

john updike, nicholas baker, flannery o’connor, franki elliot, kendra grant malone, sam pink

15.what will you be doing ten years from now?

being really poor, still writing, not raising children. 

 name. noah cicero

age. n/a

occupation. n/a


1. what is your present state of mind?

 I feel okay. I am sitting here. I know I’m going to do this. I keep thinking when I move back to Ohio, I will buy a camera and take pictures of wild turkeys roaming the forests of ohio. I have to learn how to use a turkey call, which kind of stresses me out.



2. where were you born?   

I was born in Youngstown, Ohio.

 3. where do you live now? 

I live in Seongnam, South Korea. Which is a city of a million people connected to Seoul. Basically Seoul. 


4. where would you like to live? 

If I could, it will probably never happen. It is just a pipe dream, but I would like to live in Estes Park, CO. it is just a sad pipe dream though. 

5. do you think you’re interesting? 

This question is weird. It can be taken two different ways, “is your life interesting?” I don’t think my life is very interesting, I haven’t done anything awesome, I’m not amazing like Michael Jordan or someone who fought in a war, or beat cancer. I have a bachelors degree and have owned cars, just like every other American. I think I can make myself sound interesting. I have a talent for articulating the events of my and other people’s lives. But here in Seoul, I meet people who have traveled all over the world, and done a million crazy things, but at the same time, they don’t have the ability to articulate it. They just list all the places they’ve been to and the shit they’ve done, and you are left standing there, wondering where the story is. People are weird though. The stories are there, the feelings are there, in that person’s mind and soul. But they can’t say it. It is weird. 

6. how is your love life?

 My love life is good, I have had the same girlfriend going on 3 years. She is here in Korea, also. 


7. what were you like as a child?  

I was a very bad child. I got terrible grades and was very violent. I couldn’t really talk till i was 4, the public school sent me to a speech person to teach me how to talk before i was in kindergarten. Then i couldn’t really read till i was 8, I am a really slow learner. I was a really dumb child. To this day, if you met me, and didn’t know anything about me, and just had to work with me, you would probably think i was dumb. I’m inept at so many things. For example, I had air conditioning all summer and ever figured it out, because of what god knows. my boss asked me last week, why i lost so much weight, and i said because i don’t have air conditioning, and she laughed really hard, and told me (She owns the apartment i live in) to uncover this thing and turn it on. And I did and now my apartment is an ice box. 


8. what did you eat today?  

I ate mcdonalds, a sandwich called “The taste of Europe.” A pumpkin bread thing from Paris Baggete. Korean corn chips, Korean beef jerky and bulgogi pizza.

9. have you ever created culture or art? 

That is for other people to judge. I know I am trying my best, to do what I can. 

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs?  

I like drinking and taking adderall. There are no drugs in korea though. But a lot of drinking. I drink all the time here, I have to, to deal with missing people. 

11. what kind of people do you hate?  

I don’t like people, i like plants and animals. I love the Grand Canyon which is a rock and a river. 

12. what are your goals, if you have any?  

My writing goals is to put out a book every two years. If society collapses, I will write my books on rocks and trees. 

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life?  

 My dad got a cat in 1998, his name was Tom. He was cute, orange and white. He was so cute. We had an inclosed porch, but my mother wouldn’t let the cat in the house. And she thought it was a good idea, to let the cat outside to walk in the yard. Of course the cat got hit by a car. We only had the cat for like two months. Then my father and I got the cat and buried him up on the hill. As my dad shoveled he said, “We’re never doing that again.” His voice sounded so sad. My mother is a bitch. Fuck why did you make me remember that? 

 14. who are your favorite authors?

 steinbeck, erskine caldwell, richard wright, murakami, dostoevsky, chekhov, walt whitman, tang era poets


 15.what will you be doing ten years from now? 

dude, i don’t know. Ten years i was 21 and was convinced i was going to graduate college and become a high school social studies teacher. My girlfriend was 14, which is mildly creepy. So I don’t know. Now I am in Korea, and I graduated last year, but I do teach, but english to Korean kids. lol

name. 
Jimmy Chen

age.
36

occupation.
Administrative Analyst II

1. what is your present state of mind?
It’s 2:38 a.m. I can’t sleep because I had 4 cups of coffee today, all ordered and/or brewed to be very strong; or, I’m simply depressed, a condition whose common symptom is hyposomnia. I am naked, listening to Philip Glass’s solo piano. My state of mind is not well.

2. where were you born? 
Toronto, Ontario

3. where do you live now? 
San Francisco, California

4. where would you like to live? 
I like San Francisco, but could also acclimate to living here: Tokyo, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, New york city, Chicago, Boston, Montreal, Paris, London, Berlin, Amsterdam; Basically, any place American Apparel c/w/should open a store and do okay because of said city’s asshole-y passively political but basically narcissist populace.

5. do you think you’re interesting?
When the term is used as a diminutive euphemism for having some charming-only-at-a-distance pathological condition, yes.

6. how is your love life? 
I love no one, and no one loves me; I am involuntarily celibate, a condition off of which much of my depression is based, however stupid or adolescent that may seem to people who get laid perennially, who by the way, I deeply resent and feel alienated towards.

7. what were you like as a child? 
From 0 to ~7.5 years I was perfect: funny, confident, and good at sports; girls loved me and I was on my way to driving an Audi, working at Goldman Sachs, and casual sodomy. Then, from ~7.5 to present, due to a set of circumstances which could fill an hour on Dr. Phil, I became morose, self-conscious, abstractly guilt ridden, and what some would say “of an artistic temperament” [see No. 5].

8. what did you eat today? 
I had pot stickers made two ways: (1) seared on a pan in oil, what Westerners think of when they say “Gyoza,” and (2) boiled in water, or “Dumplings,” prepared by my mother and served to my father and I, seated respectively around a round table at 12:00, 3:00, and 6:00 o’clock(s). I also had a fair share of Macadamia nuts and watermelon after dinner at a Chinese restaurant whose main highlights were tea-smoked duck and ginger and scallion steamed bass.

9. have you ever created culture or art? 
Yes, in many forms, primarily in the venue through which this interview is being performed, namely, the peer-curated internet; but also, formerly, by painting, a medium which I lovingly view as a reprieve from the former.

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs? 
I enjoy the former to the degree that a professional would (and has) patiently describe me as a functional alcoholic. I don’t do “hard” or sophisticated street and/or pharma drugs, though I occasionally ingest pot through oils, butters, and other culinary agents by which their vehicles (muffins, brownies, candy) are rendered. Sometimes I take NyQuil or Robotussin after whisky, and find the effect compelling.

11. what kind of people do you hate? 
I hate these kinds of people: (a) People who are genuinely deeply happy, because I am simply jealous, a ruined, irrevocable being; (b) People whose perceived happiness is the result of a kind intellectual unreceptiveness or even obtuseness, like basically, they are dumb/happy, the kind of people who enjoy curly fries w/o guilt and laugh with sincerity at jokes daytime game show hosts make; (c) People who feign sadness (especially at parties or in front of Photo Booth) as an easy form of aesthetic preciousness or intellectual implication, in order to seem alluring and attractive, but who are actually fairly content and simplistic people; (d) I could go on & on through the alphabet but I’m tired (it’s 3:33 a.m.) so basically, I dislike most people who aren’t exactly like me: whose depression is just ironic enough to not be suicidal; whose earnest self-unlike is felt in the very fiber of his face, taut with alertness, tendons tightening into a grimace worried how ugly it all looks.

12. what are your goals, if you have any? 
Let me defer to the average answer given by other subjects herein, whose arithmetic mean age seems to be 20, for I am by far the oldest person “here” (the tactile virtuality of that word uncanny, almost sad); at 36, I am “near the end,” perhaps not mortally, but ontologically. Basically, my life is pretty much over, and there is nothing left to discuss.

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life? 
Readers are free to peruse my archive of personal essays found at various places inside the internet.

14. who are your favorite authors? 
William Gaddis, David Foster Wallace, and James Joyce, the Holyshit Trinity.

15.what will you be doing ten years from now?
As long as I’m between 145-150 lbs., getting laid at least 7 times a year by seven different women (or 77 times a year by one woman, though I prefer the former), fully employed at an institution with health insurance, still producing artistic material which I find interesting, whose recent colonoscopy results do not bear subsequent discourse, I’ll be fine. Not really, but I need to go to bed now. It’s almost time to wake up.

name. victoria trott

age. 20

occupation. office robot

1. what is your present state of mind?

i’m lying on the floor watching ‘burn notice’ thinking about frozen yogurt 

2. where were you born? 

in a catholic hospital a little west of philadelphia

3. where do you live now? 

south philadelphia

4. where would you like to live? 

secluded forest in a climate that doesnt get cold

5. do you think you’re interesting? 

i feel interested in myself sometimes

6. how is your love life? 

'very' bad (re empty)

7. what were you like as a child? 

cute, shy, grumpy, loyal to family, loved babysitter (‘kirsten’), piano teacher (‘karissa’), and the characters ‘sarah’ and ‘rachel’ in the bible, much higher metabolism, hated being teased

8. what did you eat today? 

chocolate-nut bowl, banana based smoothie, giant garlicky, limey salad, rice-salsa-avocado-lime-raisin bowl

but yesterday:

oatmeal-milk bowl, 2 14oz cartons haagen dazs coffee ice cream, 1 10oz bag sour cream n onion chips, 1 10oz bag barbeque chips

9. have you ever created culture or art? 

some things i wrote are on muumuu house, and i… tweet a lot… i just painted my nails purple… i do lacy-ass-dress.blogspot.com

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs? 

i enjoy the acts of drinking and using drugs a lot, the effects are just okay

11. what kind of people do you hate? 

people driving buses, trucks and cars

12. what are your goals, if you have any? 

i wish i was richer, healthier, and had at least one friend

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life? 

i was born a female human in america, 1992, to 5 older siblings the closest 9yro, who cried when he found out i wasnt a boy

14. who are your favorite authors? 

jean rhys, marie calloway, ellen kennedy, bianca casady, kate dicamillo

15.what will you be doing ten years from now?

2022 lol. no idea

name.  Stephen Tully Dierks

age. 26

occupation. Office job

1. what is your present state of mind?

Thinking about the phrase “state of mind.” Also, caffeinated posi-thoughts.

2. where were you born? 

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

3. where do you live now? 

Chicago

4. where would you like to live? 

New York maybe

5. do you think you’re interesting? 

No and yes

6. how is your love life? 

I have a girlfriend for the first time in several years and she is very nice and smart and beautiful.

7. what were you like as a child? 

I was a nerd. I had my hair wetted down and combed to the side and I wore turtlenecks and was into Star Trek: The Next Generation. I read The New York Times in a bathrobe on Sundays. I listened to Bob Uecker broadcast Brewer games via a little purple radio by my bed. I didn’t like getting my pants dirty. I was scared of getting sent to the principal’s office. I wrote stories for class sharing time about a character named Engelstein. 

8. what did you eat today? 

Eggs over-easy, hashbrowns, sausage patties, toast.

9. have you ever created culture or art? 

Sure.

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs? 

Sometimes. 

11. what kind of people do you hate? 

People who ask me what kind of people I hate.

12. what are your goals, if you have any? 

Write books that are published, love another person as much as I can, love myself, spread love to as many as I can.

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life? 

A bunch of times I bought a 40 oz., chips, and dip and rented a foreign film based on if it seemed likely I could jack off to the sex scene in it while sprawled dead-manatee-style in my room with the door closed and locked.

14. who are your favorite authors? 

J.D. Salinger, James Joyce, and Samuel Beckett. 

15.what will you be doing ten years from now?

Balancing being a loving father and husband with my burgeoning career.


name. brittany wallace

age. 24

occupation. ESL teacher





1. what is your present state of mind? 

healthily detached


2. where were you born? 

cleveland, ohio, USA


3. where do you live now? 

seoul satellite city, south korea


4. where would you like to live? 

i don’t care


5. do you think you’re interesting? 

duh


6. how is your love life? 

rad


7. what were you like as a child? 

mischievous, manipulative, a typical leo child


8. what did you eat today? 

school lunch (rice, kimchi, mushrooms, gim)


9. have you ever created culture or art? 

have i ever


10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs? 

i prefer drugs


11. what kind of people do you hate? 
rapists i guess


12. what are your goals, if you have any? 

stop doing the fried chicken and beer thing so often


13. do you have any depressing stories about your life? 

once my cat escaped so i put canned food all around my apartment complex and slept on the couch waiting for him, and sure enough at 5am i hear a meow and look outside and atticus is casually sharing his breakfast with a skunk on my porch, they are licking the plates clean and then they scamper away together, and atticus comes back two hours later covered in burrs but smelling normal and looking satisfied with his experience (cute right)


14. who are your favorite authors? 

haruki murakami, richard yates, bret easton ellis, banana yoshimoto, richard brautigan, all of my talented and good-looking friends


15. what will you be doing ten years from now?

cocaine and 18 year olds

name. diane marie

age. 24

occupation. student & office girl

1. what is your present state of mind?

just keep thinking “wow ok”

2. where were you born?

the left-handed mill, eire

3. where do you live now?

london, england

4. where would you like to live?

im ok here for now i guess

5. do you think you’re interesting?

no sorry

6. how is your love life?

jealous teen

7. what were you like as a child?

lonely & v sexually aware

8. what did you eat today?

nothing so far

9. have you ever created culture or art?

i once did a painting of a boy i like and he laughed in like a mean way then i kissed him and he said “wth” and shook his head i was pretty upset

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs?

no sorry

11. what kind of people do you hate?

ppl who lie a lot

12. what are your goals, if you have any?

to be ok i guess

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life?

after i watched my dad die i washed the dishes and took a sleeping pill so i didnt have to watch my mum crying

14. who are your favorite authors?

david foster wallace & judy blume

15. what will you be doing ten years from now?

trying really hard

name. Maggie Lee

age. 19

occupation. Student, wait no, Poetess, jk, Looking for Part-time Paying Job, Halp

1. what is your present state of mind?

full, food-wise, what am i gna do today

2. where were you born?

uruguay, nj

3. where do you live now? 

brooklyn

4. where would you like to live?

brooklyn is good

5. do you think you’re interesting?

im religious

6. how is your love life? 

bangin, im being serious.

7. what were you like as a child?

in preschool i was scared and shy but then i made friends and did ok, think outside of school though i was actually very outgoing, remember dancing on a table in a restaurant age ~3yrs

in kindergarten i took pride in my advanced reading abilities, mrs. bonomo bought me books

in first grade i cut most of my hair off and plastered the remaining hair to my head with gel, people noticed me, i was insane

in second grade i was in charge of making sure the boy i had a crush on didnt chew on his pencil, was supposed to tell on him if he did. i also remember walking around the neighborhood with my best friend, both of us dressed up like boys with our shirts tied up in the front

in third grade i took pride in my ability to spell antidisestablishmentarianism

in forth grade i joined the travel softball team and got angry about my teacher letting a different girl represent our class in the school spelling bee ‘because i won everything and she wanted to give someone else a chance’

in fifth grade i stuffed the butt of my shorts and put a dress on over that and got on stage in a talent show and danced to ‘baby got back’, mostly just shook my butt toward the audience. i also won the school spelling bee

sixth through eighth grade i only had one friend, her family took me on all of their vacations. i worried about homework in all of my free time and slept on an air mattress in my little brother’s room because i could never sleep. for a long time i told my parents that my stomach hurt right before bed and then we went to the hospital once for it, but my stomach didnt really hurt.  i went to a therapist who told me to picture a knot in my stomach and to imagine untying it, i cried because that was stupid and didnt help me sleep.  think i was just worrying about homework all night mostly

in high school i was pretty quiet during class, had an almost perfect gpa, was the weird/insane person in my group of friends always trying to make everyone laugh via embarrassing myself, was involved in 6+ academic clubs, captain of the varsity softball team, had little to no sexual experience until i was about seventeen really

8. what did you eat today?

stack of banana walnut chocolate chip pancakes

9. have you ever created culture or art?

It Depends

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs? 

It Depends

11. what kind of people do you hate? 

i dont know, i just like, i dont know, It Depends, how much a person is a certain way

12. what are your goals, if you have any? 

to feel comfortable

hope i enjoy and do well in my classes this semester also to be honest

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life? 

i cant begin to explain

no lets not be dramatic here

basically my life has been decently privileged

people i have loved have died, thats depressing

feels like youre aiming to get a picture of the depressed side of my lil bb ass via this question though and i dont wna give it, its just not that important

14. who are your favorite authors?

I think rather than having a favorite author, my favorite thing is short stories, like, im into reading short stories, almost every book of short stories ive chosen to read, ive enjoyed more than most other things. lorrie moore, miranda july, scott mcclanahan, i wouldnt say theyre my favorite authors, maybe they are though, but i havent read enough by any of them to say that. but the books ive read by some of them are my favorite books, i think

15.what will you be doing ten years from now?

either going to be alive or dead, to be honest i hope im alive

either going to be married or not married, could be single or have a boyfriend, could also just be dead, but hopefully alive

if im married i might have kids ten years from now, i also might be pregnant or maybe im infertile and someone else will be my surrogate, also i could be not married and have or be having a baby, also i could just be married with no baby or pregnancy, another option is that im not married and there could be zero prospect of a baby, could be alone in every way, all options

could be changing the dial on the air conditioner, itll be summer time in ten years

options

i dont even know what im doing today

plans so far are to shower, do laundry, might watch a movie before doing either of those things though 

name walter mackey
age 22
occupation student, writer, whatever

1.what is your present state of mind?

i just visited the doctor’s office and i talked to a man about his recycling. he was very nice. the doctor was sort of weird, i don’t know. i think i am pretty much calm but i feel sort of hungry.

2.where were you born?

i was born at james paton memorial hospital in gander, newfoundland & labrador, in canada. that all happened on may 9th, 1990.

3.where do you live now?

i currently live in cull’s harbour, newfoundland & labrador, in canada, which is about 45 minutes from gander. i will be moving to st. john’s, newfoundland & labrador in about three weeks. it is about 3 hours from where i currently live and 3 and 1/2 hours from where i was born.

4.where would you like to live?

i would like to live in toronto or boston. my true loves (lucy k shaw and ellen kennedy) live in these places and i would like to spend the rest of my life with them. i feel like if i live in toronto, i would probably just megabus to boston a lot and vice versa.


5. do you think you’re interesting?

i guess parts of me are interesting. i live in a town of ~30 people. a lot of people are really fascinated about where i live and where i’m from. that’s probably interesting. i don’t know what else is interesting. i have a degree in folklore, that’s pretty interesting. feel like i should ask someone i know what is interesting about me. this seems like a vain question.

6. how is your love life?

my love life is non-existent. i haven’t been with anyone intimately in almost two years and i don’t think i really have a love interest in anyone at this point in time. maybe when i move to the city, but who knows?

 7. what were you like as a child?

as a child, i was very dirty. like, not dirty in a hygiene-state but dirty in like, talking about dicks a lot or something. i was very immature. i played with a lot of girls as a child and this led to my mother buying me a barbie—gymnastics barbie. i would perform concerts in my basement with my mother’s records to an imaginary crowd; hits like xanadu by olivia newton-john and 9 to 5 by dolly parton. remember distinctly telling my mother i wanted to grow up and become a priest at one point, too.

8. what did you eat today?

i haven’t eaten anything yet but it is nearly noon so i guess i will have mac & cheese soon or something.



9. have you ever created culture or art?

sometimes i create art and i guess i help to create culture or facilitate it in some way, what with being involved in the ‘alt lit’ community or whatever. i do not think that i am a curator but i am certainly a ‘role player’ in the consumption of culture. i have a social science degree so i feel like i could talk about culture all day, but i won’t.

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs?

i don’t know if i ‘like’ drinking alcohol or using drugs, but i do both.


11. what kind of people do you hate?

i hate fake ass bitches and people who seem to hate me for what appears to be [no good reason]. i feel that the internet is a weird place and a lot of people are quick to form opinions about one another very quickly, especially in the ‘alt lit scene’. i don’t know, i feel that a lot of things i’ve said to people have been misconstrued in some ways and if they could hear the tone of my voice or the context of why i’ve said some things, they would think differently of me now. seems like i have a lot of haters. this is a formal apology to all of the people i’ve offended. i’m really sorry.

12.what are your goals, if you have any?

i don’t know if i have any goals. maybe to one day be happy; own my own house, maybe have a car, something trivial like that. i don’t want to pay rent every month for the rest of my life and ride around on a fixed gear and dumpster dive or something when i’m 54. how awful would that be, man?

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life?
 

i don’t know if my life is depressing, to be honest. sometimes i feel depressed but i can’t think of a depressing story. i don’t know, maybe you should talk to a starving child in africa who lost their parents to war and then talk to me about how i went out in public with my pants on backwards or something and just see who has the most depressing story.

  14. who are your favorite authors?

i guess my favourite ‘writers’ are: dennis cooper, eileen myles, noah cicero, tao lin, jean rhys, augusten burroughs, miranda july, simone de beauvoir, ellen kennedy, lk shaw, megan boyle, jacob steinberg, spencer madsen, and carolyn decarlo. i feel privileged to be able to talk to most of them on a daily basis.

 
15.what will you be doing ten years from now?

i feel that ten years from now i will be working as a construction worker in toronto and enjoying my life. i don’t know if i will continue with my writing and i don’t know if this community will stay around long enough for everyone to keep in contact with each other, but i would like to imagine that it will still exist. i feel like my future is ‘bright’, for sure.

name. rue kuroha / allie larue 


age. 21

occupation. au pair

1. what is your present state of mind?
im learning 2 sing a new song in french. id say im pretty animated right now.

si j’ai de quoi affirmatif et quoi d’autre no comment

2. where were you born? 
vancouver, wa

3. where do you live now? 
los angeles, ca

4. where would you like to live? 
i lived w/ my mother in paris prominently as a child so ideally i would enjoy it if i returned 2 where i spent my primitive years. paris, france… not paris, texas.

5. do you think you’re interesting? 
i find myself utterly boring but i can c the intrigue.

6. how is your love life? 
currently im obsessed w/ being obsessed w/ a male. i love him in the darkest most primitive way. it’s not something i think ab though, it just exists.

i also maintain a healthy bond w/ a female. we lay on her bed all day & night while writing henry rollin’s works on2 the inside of e/o’s jackets. we share books & drink 2 much coffee. i think it was the lack of sleep both of us possess that brought us 2gether.

7. what were you like as a child? 
… i was quiet, i was rude, i was always curious, i was mean, i was reserved, i was behaved. i ran over my sister w/ my bike on purpose once. i would take my hair out & redo it the moment i left my mother’s embrace everyday @ school. i snuck in2 my teacher’s cabinet 2 make sure i was getting the best grades when i was in 3rd grade. my mother thought i was deaf, she said i cried mayb a total of 7 times as an infant.

8. what did you eat today? 
coffee. my body 4gets that food is something that should be intaken day 2 day.

9. have you ever created culture or art? 
culture & art r relative. every1 has created something in their life. have u created something that was revered? a baby shits in2 a diaper & that is a creation. i have done many things & they have gained a following, but that doesnt necessarily mean it was art or culture. i guess im not sure how 2 answer this q.

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs? 
i dont drink 2 get drunk. i rarely drink @ all. i enjoy champagne & vodka/sodas though. drugs r so w/e. theyre not even something i think ab. i rly love the pain mdma causes when going up yr nose.

11. what kind of people do you hate? 
i unfortunately ‘hate’ a lot of ppl. i allow myself 2 think ab a lot of ppl & feel disgust 4 them. i mostly find myself hating any1 who is under 5’7”.

12. what are your goals, if you have any? 
2b as inhuman as possible. i want 2 eventually possess a career in publications, i think. or b a stylist. idk. 

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life? 
sure.

14. who are your favorite authors? 
my favorite books r……….. little coquette // renee fontarce mccormick, gods of aberdeen // micah nathan, prep // curtis sittenfield, indiana // george sand, beauty // robin mckinley… i read a lot, i have a lot of other favorites but those r @ the top of my list. frank peretti wrote this cheesy children series called the cooper kids adventures, henry rollins makes me cry when i read his stuff, if im in the right mood ill pick up the perks of being a wallflower & read it in an hour. my friend gave me this untitled book when i was 15, it was a white small paperback novel ab erotica exploration. i wish i could remember the details. i read it a million times & it was amazing. ive lost it but i miss it dearly.

15.what will you be doing ten years from now?
hopefully not looking like 10 years have passed. my biggest fear is 2 end up like my mother though. she’s eccentric & lives lavishly thanks 2 the many rich boyfriend’s she has snagged.

name. Ed Halliday

age. 21

occupation. un-occupied

1. what is your present state of mind?

Presently I feel very lonely/ashamed/hungover, but I feel like the loneliness/being ashamed are being amplified by the hangover so I’m not buying into it very much. The hangover isn’t that bad though, it’s the ‘still drunk’ type of hangover. 

2. where were you born? 

I was born at Group Health on 15th street in Capitol Hill, Seattle

3. where do you live now? 

I live in Brooklyn, New York at the moment, if I don’t get a job soon I will have to leave and that would make me feel terrible. 

4. where would you like to live? 

Brooklyn seems nice, I would like to stay in Brooklyn for the moment. Maybe Queens. I would like to live in Queens.

5. do you think you’re interesting? 

Medium-Interesting. I have interesting friends. Sometimes I feel like I’m compensating for how medium-interesting I am by having mostly-interesting friends.

6. how is your love life? 

Medium-Interesting.

7. what were you like as a child? 

When I was a child I feel like I was shy but like I feel like everybody says that about themselves. In the ~3rd grade I would get sent home from school b/c I would chew up the tips of red colored pencils, then mix the red ‘paste’ I made out of it with my spit. I would spit out a bunch of ‘mysterious red liquid’ and my teacher would be scared. I think I might have been scared too.

I lived in an old person’s home at one point in my life. From the age of [i can’t remember] to age ~7. One of the old ladies that lived there was named Peggy and she believed that inanimate objects were living things. I remember playing with starwars ‘blasters’ with one of the other kids that lived there, and Peggy kept screaming. Later she died but not because of that, because she was old.

I realized recently that until recently I was subconsciously glad that she’s dead for the same reason I would have been glad she was dead when I knew her. Which was that she would tell me not to slam my fists on the high keys on the piano because it hurt her ears physically, and I just thought she was being ‘lame’.

8. what did you eat today? 

I haven’t eaten anything yet. I’ve drank a lot of smart water. The number of smart water bottles that seem to be showing up in my room out of nowhere has doubled since I went to sleep last night. I just woke up.

9. have you ever created culture or art? 

I have created music and poetry, should be able to find it in the ‘links’ section of my blog.

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs? 

I like drinking alcohol and using [some] drugs. I feel bad re: talking about xanax so much on steve’s spreecast last night. http://www.spreecast.com/events/sick-fuck-2009-truely.html http://www.spreecast.com/events/sick-fest-2009-part-2 

11. what kind of people do you hate? 

I don’t hate any kind of people at all. 

12. what are your goals, if you have any?

I would like to do voiceovers in cartoons 

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life? 

I suppose I have depressing stories about my life. 

14. who are your favorite authors? 

Jean Donaldson, China Mieville, Tao Lin, etc. I’m bad at reading, I don’t actually read that much. Seeing a lot of words overwhelms me sometimes and sometimes it makes me want to smash my head. I feel ashamed/mortified about it. 

15.what will you be doing ten years from now?

‘Get busy livin or get busy dyin’

name. stacey teague 

age. 23

occupation. cattery worker/volunteer bird rescuer, soon to be traveller/au pair


1. what is your present state of mind?

anxious, eating a banana

2. where were you born? 

auckland, nz

3. where do you live now? 

auckland, nz, as of tomorrow, london, england (and thereabouts)

4. where would you like to live? 

wellington, nz or melbourne, aus

5. do you think you’re interesting? 

unsure / subjective

6. how is your love life? 

8815 miles away

7. what were you like as a child? 

shy, quiet

8. what did you eat today? 

a banana, a mandarin, pizza, icecream, another banana (ate it like a watermelon)

9. have you ever created culture or art? 

i’ve created things that may be considered art, unsure about ‘culture’

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs? 

alcohol more than drugs

11. what kind of people do you hate? 

people who don’t like cats, yeah wassup

12. what are your goals, if you have any? 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lPQZni7I18

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life? 

left my favourite scarf on the bus the other day, bloody rough

14. who are your favorite authors? 

right now i like natalie chin, guillaume morissette and kerry giangrande’s writing, also in a murakami k-hole, send help

15.what will you be doing ten years from now?
hanging out with whoever watched that entire destiny’s child video

name. zachery wood


age. 35


occupation. freelance video editor/animator

1.what is your present state of mind?

worried. anxiety about responding to these questions. dread about the work i’m avoiding right now. mild euphoria from coffee and fruit.

2. where were you born? 

tallahassee florida 

3. where do you live now? 

louisville kentucky

4. where would you like to live? 

i’m not sure. i feel comfortable with this place but i can’t decide whether i like feeling that way. when i think about living somewhere else, i imagine a future me which i have no access to. i feel hollow and lost and unloved. the whole idea of a future me is unbearable.

places i’ve considered moving: hawaii, los angeles, cambodia

5. do you think you’re interesting? 

i think there are a couple of interesting things about me. i have a lot of anxiety that stays pretty close to the surface. i find that anxiety somewhat interesting and i try in different ways to interact with it and figure it out. 

^i wrote this response about an hour ago and now i feel like “fuck you” to the me who wrote it.

^^just read this and thought “get a grip” in a manner that someone from saved by the bell might say it.

^^^now i feel that people reading this are rolling their eyes, like “good lord this person is full of himself,” and that people would like me more if i just wrote short charming answers. oh well, fuck. maybe no one is reading because this is too annoying to publish. 

6. how is your love life? 

i guess i’m not going to answer this one.

7. what were you like as a child? 

very quiet. i liked doing things that involved extended concentration, like scanning the ground for interesting objects and catching minnows with my hands in streams. i often felt emotionally overwhelmed but always hid it well. i was good at following rules.

8. what did you eat today? 

i’ve had coffee and a large smoothie containing: mango, banana, peach, yogurt. <-i’ve had 2 gluten free donut holes since i wrote that. now more coffee.

9. have you ever created culture or art? 

i take pictures and write things on facebook. i’ve made some image macros. some short videos. i guess those things are technically art. i don’t feel comfortable putting more than a certain amount of effort into making a thing though. i need the self-handicap of being able to view things i make as somewhat throwaway or i feel too uncomfortable to make them. so in that sense, maybe no, i haven’t made art. i would like to feel [something] enough to decide to make a thing that takes a long time to make.

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs? 

yes. i like doing both.

11. what kind of people do you hate? 

seems like i hate most men. also, i hate people who remind me of the things i hate about myself. sometimes i feel ok about everyone though.

12. what are your goals, if you have any? 

i don’t know. i just wrote some things and then erased them. no goals, just going to observe myself doing things and then eventually die. 

ok, i have a better answer now, a list of goals:

-stop procrastinating

-make a feature film

-perform standup comedy

-hike the pacific crest trail

-drive to alaska

-visit japan

-walk the entire great wall of china

-watch the entire criterion collection with minimal breaks

-cry openly and often in public

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life? 

i guess you’re asking for an anecdote, but it seems like the whole thing is depressing by default. i guess growing up very poor in the south sounds depressing. i feel like there might be some really good ones that people would find depressing but i can’t think of them right now. 

oh, just thought about me and my friends in mississippi huffing freon from the post office air conditioner because we were so bored and it was the only building in the town i lived in, so we hung out there in the parking lot at midnight. i think that sounds like a depressing story but it was actually really fun.

14. who are your favorite authors? 

i’ve barely read any books in the last 10 years. i recently read half of richard yates and maybe more than half of unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee and liked them both. also listened to an audio book drama of the gifted child by alice miller and before that what i talk about when i talk about running by murakami. i read things like twitter and short essays and poems online. favorite author is currently probably horse_ebooks. i feel annoyed with myself for saying horse_ebooks is my favorite author. the real answer is “i don’t know” or “get me out of this question”.

15.what will you be doing ten years from now?

wow i’m getting so depressed trying to answer these questions. every time i type something and then read it i feel that what i’ve said is so embarrassing and wrong. i guess in 10 years i’ll probably still be trying to figure out how to not feel crushing embarrassment about simply existing. 

some time has passed and now i feel numb about the answers i’ve written. just going to submit because the numbness makes it impossible to figure out how to edit them. hopefully no one will read this.

just read it all again and made some small changes and i guess i feel ok with it. really submitting now.

name. neon glittery

age. 25

occupation. freelance artist / N/A

1. what is your present state of mind?

i love life. i am making progress with my passion(s) more so than before. i am not where i want to be yet but i am leaping in that direction. i have a lot of positive things going for me.

2. where were you born?

glitterrock, darkansas

3. where do you live now?

space (sometimes i land my ship in conway, arkansas)

4. where would you like to live?

portland, oregon, germany, or iceland. somewhere with mountains, an ocean/sea, sustainability, bike-friendliness and lots of culture.

5. do you think you’re interesting?

yeah, i rarely get bored.

6. how is your love life?

i’m not going to answer this question. 

7. what were you like as a child?

like i am now. young, imaginative, and fun. i lived in germany and traveled all over europe from 3-5. i sat by the window and drew all day. i openly talked to strangers and made friends easily. i loved animals, bugs, nature, music, creating things, and bicycling. i was quite a little, bubbly character with a bright outlook on life.

8. what did you eat today?

i woke up around 11ish so i had a lovely brunch that involved pineapples, grapes, strawberries, oranges, toast with cheese/ green peppers/ mixed greens. for mid-day snack, i made a smoothie with a banana, honey, peanut butter, soy milk, honey nut cheerios, brown rice protein powder, and flax seed. later i ate salmon, black-eyed peas, mushrooms with onions. and much later i had a cookie with m&m’s.

9. have you ever created culture or art? 

that’s pretty much all i do. i make art daily.

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs? 

heck no. i am a super proud straight-edger and always will be. i don’t need any of that nonsense, except maybe seizure meds. those are kind of important to my well-being.

11. what kind of people do you hate? 

i try to not be a hater, so i’m leaving out the details. i really dislike a lot of things people do to others and themselves. i really dislike ignorance. some close-minded people are real terrible.

12. what are your goals, if you have any? 

i want to be a traveling artist, live off of commissions, tour with my music, exist indefinitely on a sailboat. i want to live my dream(s) forever.

13. do you have any depressing stories about your life? 

tons. you wouldn’t know though because i have moved light-years forward.

want a list? here’s a list:

1) when i went rappelling one time, the front part of my hair (my bangs area) got caught in the figure eight (the thing that holds the rope) and i was basically scalped for ~5 min (until it bled) while hanging about 110 feet in the air. that was miserable. it never grew back where it was pulled out; i am somewhat self conscious about my hair.

2) i had a nasty head injury in 7th grade that made certain things exceptionally challenging even to this day. it took me till college to truly find and be myself again.

3) in middle school all my rich, prissy ‘friends’ decided to reject me completely; i barely had any friends even throughout high school. i was a super sad loner and a definite weirdo for the longest time.

4) between late high school and early college i remember being depressed for at least 6 months straight and wanting to die multiple times. thankfully i never tried to delete myself.

5) i still live with my mom, i have a degree in art, i have been out of school a year now and i am unemployed. 

6) other multiple awful-tragic-weird-not-normal-things that happened to me i will not tell about for the sake of brevity and too much personal exposure. 

14. who are your favorite authors? 

i adore ee cummings

15.what will you be doing ten years from now?

i will be getting by with my art, traveling, and far far farrrrrr away from arkansas.

name. Sarah Swan

age. 23

occupation. ESL teacher 




1. what is your present state of mind?

I just got home from work and it’s really hot in my apartment. I share a small space with my friends who are crashing until they can get into China. There is only one fan. Yesterday, my friend and favorite co-worker, completed his last day at work. I feel strange. I feel sad but not in a “i want to cry way”, more like a “a year goes by so fast and everything is different again.” 



2. where were you born? 

New York



3. where do you live now? 

Bucheon, South Korea



4. where would you like to live? 

Where my friends are….maybe somewhere with seasons. 



5. do you think you’re interesting?

 I don’t know. I think everyone is interesting. They’re living their life and I want to hear their stories. I want to know how they’re feeling. How a moment, or a movie, or a city made them feel. Show me your emotions and opinions. Tell me about the strange things that happened in your life. It makes me think about my life and where I have been, where I am going. 
Recently, I met a guy who got a heart transplant through a program ran by Nancy Reagan. He was flown on some special plane from Korea to America. Everyone has some sort of wild story.

6. how is your love life? 

I have one of those things where I care intensely about a certain individual. There’s this fantastical hope that one day maybe this person will want to be in my life. I keep thinking, “I wish.” Maybe it can be something special when I have fully involved into a beautiful, compassionate, sensible individual. I am making him a book of poems because he seems to like my poems. All my romantic poems are about him and he knows this and I think he smiles about it. 

The longest time I’ve liked someone, my longest “relationship”, is with someone I’m not dating. 


7. what were you like as a child? 

Very talkative. All the doctors said, “This kid has Adhd.” My mom and dad were like, “leave it alone.” I was very awkward and weird. I moved around a lot and at one point didn’t make great efforts to fit in or be understood because I knew I would move to a different city, state, or country in a few years anyways. Girls were mean to me. 

I spent a lot of time playing outside with my sister or by myself. Once, for a few years, I lived in the country. I had a dog that I would take with me as I went rollerskating and I had a special spot in the woods where I would just lay in the grass or collect weird rocks. It was near this hill I would skate up and down for hours. 

I was also really into writing and drawing. I got to meet some Mayor once because I was the “best” artist in my grade. I made a replica of his face out of playdough because someone told me that I had to. He gave me a picture of his face that he signed. 


8. what did you eat today? 

Nyang Myeon (cold noodle soup) and a tuna seaweed wrap.



9. have you ever created culture or art? 
Once when I lost two jobs and I had to pay rent, I sold drawings and my favorite pairs of sneakers online. 
In college, we used to have friendship art shows in this gallery. We would all just make something and throw a party and just get wasted and look at each other’s art. There was also a few occasions where we collected poems and made collaborative chapbooks.


In college, my friends and I were really into creating something and then having a party for it. Any excuse to drink sparks. Amirite?

10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs? 
Yeah, I party but I’m not the way I used to be. I never really drank. I would get sick off of two beers.
I drink now. My tolerance is better. Kind of. 

(Nothing like sitting in a bed with all of your friends watching the ceiling melt.)

11. what kind of people do you hate?  I dont really hate people. Feels like it takes too much energy. I used to hate people but then I felt like it was a waste of time. If i had to hate anyone, maybe I would say I hate closed-minded people. 


12. what are your goals, if you have any? 
Short term: Pay off debt. Keep travelling. Grow my hair out. 
Long term: Keep travelling. Live in Europe. Live in other parts of Asia. Hang out in Brooklyn. Live in some exciting city with all of my best friends nearby. Road trip across America because I promised I would do it. 


13. do you have any depressing stories about your life? 
one time I had to bury a kitten in a basement during a blizzard. my friend was really distraught and overwhelmed, so we tried to do the best thing. we didn’t have a shovel so we dug out a grave with hammers somehow. 

14. who are your favorite authors? 
Sheila Heti, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Brittany Wallace, Noah Cicero. 


15.what will you be doing ten years from now?
I don’t even know what I’ll be doing next year. I think this is a good thing.