I just want them to earn their happy ending with no angels and no impacts and crappery. But only Shinji remembers. 

In this life, he has to win Kaworu’s heart and it’s all awkward wooing. I just want him to use the words Kaworu used for him. 

I want him to attend Tanabata and write wishes, and when Kaworu asks, Shinji says he wants them to sleep under the stars together. When everyone celebrates Shinji’s birthday, I want Shinji to turn to Kaworu and say, “I was born to meet you.” I want Shinji to present Kaworu with an empty box on Christmas and promise him, “This time, I’ll make you happy.” I want Shinji to meet Kaworu for the first time in this life on the first day of school, as the cherry blossoms are falling, and tell him, “You are beautiful.”

I want complete role reversal. 

I want Kaworu to be able to define himself without Shinji, I want him to have a life and home and friends and happiness that are in no way wrapped up in Shinji.

And I want this to be the life Shinji wished for him. I want Shinji to go through this world, this life, and smile, because this peace and happiness is what he wished for everyone. This is the world everyone sacrificed everything for.

This is the world Kaworu saw, every time.

And I want Shinji to do this, to woo Kaworu, not because of misplaced notions of equivalent exchange, not because he feels he owes Kaworu, but because he thinks maybe, if Kaworu was born to meet him, he was born so Kaworu could meet him.

                                             Moral High Ground

|Sup! …Oh man—are THESE back? Boxes full of my own thoughts? Wow. It’s been years! I feel like I’m touching a dog who ran away from home and came back with three legs. I miss the yellow though… Yeesh. Ah well—let’s get on to the headcanon!|

|I don’t exactly have the best track record, y’know? Got a lot of blood on my hands. And believe me, I feel bad for it! Well, some of em’. I ain’t sold on that “repent” crappery, cause some people gotta’ die—right? It’s how life works! And I have the tools for nature’s yearning. Yes, my swords are nature’s knives. You heard it here first.|

|Anyway, due to my history with killing an’ wasting a buncha’ folk—It sort of left me jaded to some things. Well, a lot of things. Death, for example. Some dude jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge? Big deal. Least’ he’s got the ability to DIE. And hey, I’ll gladly help em’ out. I’m not about to let someone take their own life in vain, but I’m also not gonna’ feel sorry for the lives that are taken by the skeletal clutches of Death.|

|But hey, that don’t mean I don’t have morals. I got lots of em’! For instance—one should never throw away a PEZ dispenser™ and think it’s ‘insane’ for someone to break their nose when they do so. Oh—and the days of killing random people? Done and over with. I’m one of those high functioning sociopath people now. …Sort of. …Okay, I waste the occasional dirtbag, but like I said—some people just gotta die!|

|Are my views and teachings about as skewed as Marilyn Manson’s face? Oh yeah. But are they sound? I dunno’. All I DO know is that I’ve been doing the killing game for years and sometimes the universe just needs people to die once in a while. Maybe it’s a crappy excuse, but that’s just how it is. Call me a cynic if you want, but at least I’m not the one moping about some stranger dying that no one will remember tomorrow.|