I just want them to earn their happy ending with no angels and no impacts and crappery. But only Shinji remembers.
In this life, he has to win Kaworu’s heart and it’s all awkward wooing. I just want him to use the words Kaworu used for him.
I want him to attend Tanabata and write wishes, and when Kaworu asks, Shinji says he wants them to sleep under the stars together. When everyone celebrates Shinji’s birthday, I want Shinji to turn to Kaworu and say, “I was born to meet you.” I want Shinji to present Kaworu with an empty box on Christmas and promise him, “This time, I’ll make you happy.” I want Shinji to meet Kaworu for the first time in this life on the first day of school, as the cherry blossoms are falling, and tell him, “You are beautiful.”
I want complete role reversal.
I want Kaworu to be able to define himself without Shinji, I want him to have a life and home and friends and happiness that are in no way wrapped up in Shinji.
And I want this to be the life Shinji wished for him. I want Shinji to go through this world, this life, and smile, because this peace and happiness is what he wished for everyone. This is the world everyone sacrificed everything for.
This is the world Kaworu saw, every time.
And I want Shinji to do this, to woo Kaworu, not because of misplaced notions of equivalent exchange, not because he feels he owes Kaworu, but because he thinks maybe, if Kaworu was born to meet him, he was born so Kaworu could meet him.