craaaaaaaaazy

So I don't know how many of you remember that thing that was going around a while ago

the thing where you could get some crazy glasses straws for absolutely free

well uh

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I may have

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got them, and

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they are absolutely fucking amazing

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im taking these everywhere to consume my beverages 

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FUCK YEAH

YOUUUUU SAAAAAAAAAAAAAY IM CRAAAAAAAAAZY

CAUSE YOU DONT THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE

BUUUUUUUUUT WHEEEEEN YOU CALL ME BABY

I KNOW IM NOT THE ONLYYYYYY ONE

I HAVE LOVED YOU FOR MANY YEARS MAYBE I AM JUST NOT ENOUGH 

YOU MADE ME REALIZE MY DEEPEST FEAR

BY LYING AND TEAAAAAAAARING US UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP

Nothing seems real to me at the moment, except the inside of my own mind. I try and consider anything outside that and I’m struck by a wave of fear so intense I can’t see straight. 
The burning bright electricity of my soul has extended into the night; insomnia, again. Exhaustion only overshadowed by my inability to slow down my body. Well, mostly my mind. I stayed up till the early hours of this morning. Luckily Jamie was happy to join me.
I woke up really overwhelming happy this morning; ecstatic at the thought of not having to leave the house all day. So happy to just crawl into myself. Now I’m overtaken with anxiety because I do have to leave the house. I’m out of meds and Jamie wants to go out to dinner to celebrate his new job. I don’t want to. It’s beyond that, though. I can’t. The thought of going anywhere or doing anything has me trembling and teary.
This is what it’s like to periodically lose your mind.