hello dear fan, it’s me mc chris, internet bad boy. i’m trying to get people to call me internet bad boy. so far my wife just rolls her eyes. but i think it’s catching on.
first things first, i’m on tour again in one month! here are the dates, locations and ticket links. let’s just get that out of the way so we can talk. www.mcchris.com/shows.
after you buy tickets come back here and read this letter. or do both things at the same time. i know you have to multitask bc none of us have attention spans anymore.
i wanted to answer some questions of yours and just give you a general low down on how tour works with me and what happens. i’ve been touring for nine years. i’ve got fans that have been seeing shows the whole time, i have brand new fans every show that have never heard of me before. it’s a cool little evening where i show you some awesome acts, we hang out, sing some songs, have a couple laughs. it’s not a big deal but it works. it’s simple but it means a lot to me and to the folks that attend as if life depended on it. like we needed to hear what we heard, like we needed to be surrounded by people like us, just feel a little less crazy.
and yeah i know, nerds are everywhere, everything is adult swim, everyone’s making funny rap videos, it’s not as revolutionary as it used to be, but it’s still the real deal. there’s no sponsors, no high ticket costs, no hipsters, no hive minds, no bullshit. like i said my fans and i have been doing this for a while now and we got it down. none of us are cool, none of us are doing this because we’re part of a herd, it’s a bunch of loners together for one night, reveling in our common love of video games, and 80’s movies, and star wars and being smart asses.
if you’re new you’ll see why fans have seen the show eight, nine, ten times. why it’s fun. why it’s meaningful. why the energy in that room is unlike anything else. you’ll laugh harder than you have in a while, you’ll want to learn the words, you might even fall in love or make a new friend. many friendships, and marriages and even babies were made bc two people both liked mc chris. weird but true. you’re not just walking into a venue, you’re walking into a new home. you belong here.
and whether you’re a new fan or an old, i thought i’d answer some questions that get asked a lot, just so you know what’s up. there’s lots of ways to interact and make this night special. there’s lots of ways for you to make my stay in your area even more awesome. let’s help each other out because that’s what friends do.
1. meet and greets
there is a meet and greet for free after every show. there are usually two lines. one line of folks buying merch, one line of folks waiting to have me sign said merch and get a pic. can you ask a question? yes please do! will i be some pissed off asshole? probably not, as long as you’re nice i’m nice, but if you act like a jerk i might respond in kind. but i’ve gotten better about that and am less likely to fly off the handle. i do meet and greets bc I WANT TO MEET YOU! i want to say thanks, i want to shake your hands. yes i want to talk about comics and video games and star wars. i can’t talk forever but i do try to talk to everyone, bc that’s what i want to do! my music is informed by the fans, so i want to know what you’re up to, and how you feel, about anything bc this music is for you as well as me. some nights we get kicked out and we have to rushed but believe that is NOT how i want things to go. but in cases like that i do want to get everyone a pic and sig. if there’s some reason you need me to come outside or you want a voice mail it usually has to wait until everyone is taken care which might take an hour. catching me before the show is a good idea if you want something special. if you see me in town that day, don’t hesitate to say hi, if i’m eating or hauling boxes maybe give me a little space to finish up and then i’m all your’s. if you catch me when i’m in a bad mood, be sure to remind yourself that i’m only human and maybe traffic was a bitch (i do all the driving) or the venue’s full of dicks, you never know what it might be. but take my word for it, approach me. i’ve chilled out a lot and i’m a much nicer guy than i used to be. most times when fans find me during the day or when i find them, i put them on the list for the show. no shit.
2. my wife!
who’s that cutie behind the merch table? that’s my wife alex! she’s a super nice lady who is currently super pregnant with my first kid! bc she’s pregnant go easy on her. she will be working the merch table (dr. approved it) so if there’s a bunch of people that want things, get in a line and don’t just start screaming at her. she’ll get to everybody. and now we got a little person inside of her to think about, so be helpful when you can be. offer her a glass water, bring her a KIND bar or a maybe buy her a SMART WATER or some SOUR PATCH KIDS (they help w nausea.) if you’ve been pregnant and you know a secret snack that works bring her some, she’ll always be hungry. but please no prepared foods, just sealed stuff you buy in a store. oh and please don’t ask for her photo (she’s shy.) she’s not a super nerd either so she may not know about what you want to talk about but she does love cult movie stuff like rocky horror and john waters so if you want to talk about that stuff she’s your girl! if you see her carrying something, offer some help, if she looks tired, offer her a seat. just help her any way you can, she’s never been pregnant before so everything’s a little bit of shock and a little harder than it used to be. she’ll most likely be super tired and in need of rest so be sure to give it to her, instead of talking to her find me and talk to me!
this year we are having a costume contest! i’ve done this before and last time i sent the winner and his girlfriend to disney world so they could ride the revamped star tours. this year i did something even cooler. i bought a $2600 proton pack with working lights and sounds! all you have to do is dress up however you want (star wars, video games, mc chris skits and mc chris music, anything nerdy is a safe bet) and when the time comes during my set i’ll bring up everyone on stage and the audience will vote on who’s best. after the show the winner will have their piture taken at the merch table and then after tour i’ll look at all the winners and pick the grand prize winner. then i will send you the proton pack!
many 501’s have made past appearances at my shows and we’re always very grateful and lucky to have them. this year though we are encouraging them to wear a different costume and join in on the fun. you can wear your 501 costume but we won’t be supplying a changing room and they are NOT allowed to compete in the contest bc obviously their costumes are just TOO bad ass. but please, 501’s, please keep in touch and ask to make appearances for future tours. i love that you’ve been a part of things in the past and hope you’ll be a part of the future. i mean we’ll have all those new star wars movies to celebrate!
5. local openers
a lot of folks have written and asked to open up for me this tour. i would love to have you but we’ve just had too many bad experiences in the past. the three acts on this tour need the green room to relax and space out front to sell merch and bringing on a fourth act makes for a much longer evening which can make everything harder, even the next day. as much as i’d like to hear what’s going on in your area, i’d much rather you be in the audience enjoying the show w everyone else. drop off your music w me, i’m always looking for new stuff and i actually listen to it! we might have local openers for future tours so please keep in touch and most importantly never give up!
6. haunted houses!
it’s the ghost hunter tour, so simply put where are your haunted houses?! this of course can mean abandoned structures or modern haunted houses w paid admission. we’re also into ghost tours or cool historical mansions, buildings and houses. let me know what’s cool in your town. tweet me (@_mcchris) leave an fb message or write me at email@example.com. all my social media links are at mcchris.com. we love to go to malls and comic book stores and amusement parks so help us have fun when there’s time to have it. give us a clue or a hint, or sneak us in. tell us where you work and i’ll try to stop by. tell me where you live and invite me over to play video games espeically when a new one comes out, you never know…. you know your town better than i do so don’t hesitate to help me make the most of it. which brings me to…
one of our favorite things to do on tour is EAT! and now that my wife’s pregnant eating good food is priority one! tell us where to eat, tell us what’s great! if you work somewhere, maybe you can cater our concert and feed the crew before the show. get in contact w me and let’s figure something out. wanna buy my wife and i meal at the place you work? let me give you a free concert ticket in exchange!
my fans are hands down the nicest most kind people in the world. and they love giving me gifts. and i try to sell most of it for charity but it’s really piling up and we need room for baby. so if you have a gift, write me about it ahead of time. i normally will say save it, because i have bins and bins of stuff to sell for my cystic fibrosis charity. that being said, i never refuse a gift (especially if it’s fan art or something handmade) and will happily take it and love but we’ll run out of space in the van and back home. last summer i asked for magic cards and everyone brought some and now i’ve got more than i know what to do w. i wrote a song about reese’s pieces and everyone brought me big huge bags of them on tour and now i aint got no TEEF! i used to rap about weed and smoke w my fans but i quit a year and a half ago so save it. definitely don’t bring it in the venue or light up during the show. you’ll get tossed. if we’re in colorado or california of course this isn’t such an issue.
listen if you really want to give me something i’m currently hunting down disney infinity discs so if you have some lying around you don’t need i’ll fuck w them shits. or you can give us a gift card to babies r us or buy buy baby. we can definitely use that and it won’t take up any space! thanks for thinking of us. we truly appreciate every little thing you guys try to do to make life easier
for the most part just bring your smiles! and buy a tshirt!
9. be careful!
lots of fans drive to a show, for hours. and hours. and hours. if you drive please don’t speed over 10mph over the speed limit especially if you’re carrying. and don’t get wasted unless there’s a designated driver. fans have gotten into all kinds of accidents over the years. so i really want you to be safe.
10. anything else i can think of
cameras are allowed at the show, if security won’t let you bring something in contact a tour crew member (anyone at a merch table) and we’ll try to help, carpool! help people online that need a ride, mc chris fans are easy to love and fun to talk to! GET THE WORD OUT!! make a post about it online, tell people you’re going! burn mc chris music for a friend and show them what’s up! we’re obviously not corporate so it’s up to you to keep this whole thing going.
if i go away nerd culture goes with me! well not really but WHAT IF!
most importantly have fun. if you made it all the way to the end of this go back to face book and say “i read the whole thing!” and i’ll respond to you! you can tweet it at me too! (@_mcchris)
thanks again guys! now go buy your tickets and bring your friends! no one should ever feel alone when so many of us have so much in common!