A letter to the young


Dear Kids,

Minecraft becomes Minesoft, George Lucas sells his soul, Pixar caves in to Disney, the web becomes three speed and non neutral, the cities and rivers are polluted, your favourite food is GMO…oh and the Miley Cyrus self-wedgy has now been monetised, brand protected and made into a social studies GCSE, that your parents will now have to pay extra tuition for.


Best Regards

The Grown Ups.

If you look at what’s happened over the last four or five years, the folks who don’t have a right to complain are the folks at the top. I would take the complaints of the corporate community with a grain of salt. They always complain about regulation. That’s their job.
—  President Barack Obama, on the economy and his business policies
Our poor, innocent corporate...
  • Me:*taking an order on headset*
  • Corporate person:"You should really try to upsell that to a meal."
  • Me:*Thinks* but it's a dollar menu item..
  • Me:"Okay, sure!"
  • Me:"Would you like any hot or mild sauce for that burrito today?"
  • Customer:"...no?"
  • Me:"Would you like to make it into a meal?"
  • Customer:"NO! I JUST WANT MY GOD DAMNED BURRITO! FUCK!" *drives off*
  • Corporate person:"So...what happened?"
  • Me:"She...she politely declined."
  • Corporate person:"Well, we'll get her next time then! :D"
  • Oh god...I--I don't think they know that you never upsell to customers who haven't had their morning coffee yet.