HOW TO LET YOU KNOW; PART THREE (Ashton)
A/N: Thanks to every single person that requested, so here’s the last part to it. :) I hope you will enjoy reading and are satisfied with how it turned out. Have an amazing day, lovely people! Xx
"Mommy?", your daughter came in and walked up to you in her pink Minnie Mouse socks. You quickly tried to hide the fact that you had been crying from her, using the sleeve of your pullover to wipe the smudged mascara off as good as possible before you raised yourself to look at her.
“Yes, my darling?”, you replied, convinced by yourself that you were seemingly calm on the outside.
She hopped onto your lap and giggled as she tangled your hair around her little finger.
“Why are you so sad?”, she suddenly asked and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.
It was only to hope that she hadn’t heard the argument between you and her father and could simply read your face’s expression better than you’d have guessed.
“You know, sometimes you just..”, you paused to think about how to actually say right what was on your mind.
“Sometimes people make mistakes”, you started.
“And then they have to find a way to fix what they have done, again. And I am not sure how to do that right now”, you explained in all honesty, hoping a three years old would understand at least a bit.
“Did you break a glass again?”, she said with wide eyes and you smiled, meaning it this time.
You wished you could just go back to seeing everything out of the perspective of a child, with no stain on your pure heart and when the hardest decisions in life were rather to dress your Barbie doll in a skirt or trousers and top today.
“No, I didn’t”, you laughed slightly.
“Can you make me a tea then?”, she pleased with her big green eyes that she had clearly gotten from Ashton.
“Of course I can.”
You stood up, holding her pressed to your right side.
“What flavour would my little princess like?”, you asked and walked the both of you into the kitchen area.
“Mhh.. “, she thought out loud. “Rosehip!”
You nodded and placed her on the counter so she could observe you filling the heater’s pot with water.
You thought of what your mother used to say when you were still pregnant and had a bad day: “When you hold her, you’ll have immediately forgotten all the pain and you will see it was more than worth it.”
And that exact feeling overcame you again tonight, while Ashton hadn’t found a mitigation to his fears just yet.
He laid on the hotel bed and stared at the ceiling, not able to believe that out of nowhere he suddenly had a child. He didn’t even know rather it was a girl or boy, he had completely forgot to ask whilst the chaos was building in his heart.
His fingers went through his hair and pulled at it in vain.
“I can’t understand why she would do that”, Luke broke the silence from across the room, where he sat on a armchair.
“She gave me a reason, but it’s not good enough”, Ashton said harshly.
He would have liked to know, no matter what it might have changed in his life, it was going to come now anyway. And he questioned if he’d ever even know if his friends hadn’t caught his child in their sight.
“What are you gonna do now?”, Michael asked curious and confused at the same time. He was also still in shock from finding out through Ashton’s outburst an hour or two ago.
“I don’t know”, he declared.
“I think I might just go back and talk to her again. Besides everything that happened between me and Y/N, I missed enough, now it’s time to take care of my baby.”
It felt surreal to say so, but it was the truth. There was no way Ashton was just gonna ignore this news and move on like nothing ever happened.
The others in the room agreed.
“Yeah, that’s probably the best thing you can do.”
And so he went to keep what he said the next morning and knocked on your door once more.
Again there was this nervousness, maybe it was even more unbareable than yesterday, since he knew he would meet his child for the very first time.
It was a monday and you had just gotten ready to head off to the kindergarten to drop your little one off as you perceived your own body trembling again.
“Ash”, you stood in awe.
You had hoped to see him again, but you hadn’t expected it to be this soon. It formed a tiny smile on your lips, before it broke your heart all over again.
“I am so sorry”, you let him know for the millionth time within the last twenty-four hours.
He nodded, but said: “Listen, I don’t know about us. I don’t know how to handle this situation well. We will have to figure out in time, for now I just wanna be there for my kid”, he stated strongly.
Even though you hated to admit it, there was nothing you could complains about in that statement. He was right. You had made a mistake by keeping something so big, 37 inches to be exact, from him when he had a right to know. And a responsibility.
You just agreed nonverbal and let him in.
“Does- does she know?”, he asked and he rubbed his hands in excitement.
“Please tell me you didn’t tell the basic tale of a car crash.”
You laughed softly and calmed him: “I always told her you were.. busy and would maybe come around someday.”
It was a surprising but gladly appreciated hug he pulled you in when the feelings overwhelmed each person in the room. You stayed like that for a second when Ashton kissed your cheek.
“Introduce me to my-..”
He cut himself off, blank faced since he still didn’t know the gender of his child.
“Your daughter Anne Sophie Irwin”, you informed him. You knew it had always been his dream to give his mother back a piece of her love for all she had done for him while rasing him almost all on her own. And what could be better than naming his daughter after her? And it also suited what you had to go through, so there never even was a discussion about the name needed when she was on the way.
You could see how tears immediately filled his eyes, but he was trying to be strong and swallowed them with a couple of deep breaths, thanking you.
“Mum”, your daughter made herself noticeable in your blurried world of emotions. “Can you help me?”, she asked and came out of her room, with untied shoes on her feet.
Ashton couldn’t help but stare at her for a second. He tried to make out what features he had gotten from him and then, no matter how hard he had fought it, a tear rolled down his cheek. She looked so much like you when you were young, for example she had your hair colour, but that was nothing compared to Ashton’s stunning eyes that reflected in hers and her little, cute nose.
“That’s my friend Ashton”, you announced to your child who just grinned bright and said: “Nice to meet you.”
He kneed down beside her. “It’s also really nice to meet you, little princess.”
She laughed at his sudden nickname for her and he grabbed the laces and questioned if he may hell her.
His daughter nodded politely and cuddled the teddy bear she held in front of her chest.
It was a long way to go until you would be a whole family instead of two seperated households, but you could already tell Ashton was going to try hard to win his child’s heart. He was so fascinated by her and how fond she had grown, that he would come around almost every day he could, to get to know he’d better. And of course it wouldn’t take too long for her too love the man in her life she had been waiting on for too long. And maybe even the both of you could work it out and cuddle on a couch together some day, like back to the old times. Or at least almost, since you were a triple now.