Todd Akin is thinking of running for Senate again

. Yes, that Todd Akin, the same man who managed to

lose his run for the Senator from Missouri

by telling a reporter that women can’t get pregnant from “legitimate rape” because “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” But Akin is hardly the only imbecile on the right who feels the need to opine about female bodies while having some peculiar ideas of how they work. Here are some of the stranger examples of conservatives holding forth on how they think that women’s bodies or women’s health care works.

1. Swallowing vagina cameras. 

During a recent hearing on a medically unnecessary bill banning telemedicine abortions, state Rep. Vito Barbieri subjected pro-choice Dr. Julie Madsen to a bunch of confusing and weird questions, in clear hopes of tripping up her medically correct claim that telemedicine abortions are safe. He only caught up himself, during a lengthy digression about colonoscopies in which Madsen noted a patient can swallow a pill with a camera in it for a doctor to look in his colon. “Can this same procedure then be done in a pregnancy? Swallowing a camera and helping the doctor determine what the situation is?” Barbieri asked.

2. Women are “climate control” for embryos. 

Todd Akin’s ignorance about the female biology he obsesses over isn’t limited to speculation about rape. In 2005, he made a speech in the House where he basically argued that women are, quite literally, nothing but incubators. “Now an embryo may seem like some scientific or laboratory term, but in fact the embryo contains the unique information that defines a person,” he said. “All you add is food and climate control, and some time, and the embryo becomes you or me.”

3. It’s all abortion! 

You get the feeling that some anti-choicers believe that modern women get abortions on a weekly basis, like they are manicures or something. Sen. Jon Kyle confirmed that suspicion in 2011 when Republicans decided to shut down the entire federal government to destroy Planned Parenthood and stop it from its unholy mission of making it safer and healthier for people to have the sex they were probably going to have anyway. To justify shutting down the entire government to stop one health care non-profit, Kyle ominiously intoned, “If you want an abortion, you go to Planned Parenthood, and that’s well over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does.”

4. Seriously, everything is abortion. 

The tendency to assume that any sexual health care besides childbirth must be abortion isn’t just a cranky old man habit on the right. Renaming any health care that isn’t making-babies “abortion” is an out-and-out political strategy that anti-choicers have been pushing for years. Anti-choice organizations have been floating the claim that an expanding number of contraception options are the equivalent of “abortion” in order to demonize them and try to restrict access. First it was just emergency contraception, which they called “abortion” on the iffy grounds that anything after you have sex must be abortion. Now the birth control pill and the IUD are also being described as “abortion.” It’s like they’re moving down a list of contraception methods and declaring them “abortion” in order of effectiveness. At this rate, condoms will be called “abortion” in conservative circles by the year 2020.

5. Creaky old jokes are better than facts. 

Big time Republican donor and Rick Santorum support Foster Friess thought he, too, would like to play doctor on TV and tell women that he knows better than they do what kind of medical care they need to control their fertility. Denying that women need contraception in 2012, Friess went on MSNBC and said, ““You know, back in my days, they used Bayer aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees, and it wasn’t that costly.”

6. But it’s women who don’t know enough about women’s health care to be able to make decisions about it. 

The reason all this Republican ignorance is so infuriating, of course, is that none of these men feel they need to know the first thing about women’s bodies, women’s lives, or women’s health care to dictate how we should live our lives or use our bodies. But one Republican candidate, Greg Brannon, really encapsulated this mentality by arguing that women seeking reproductive health care are “little girls [who] don’t understand what’s going on to their bodies.”

Read more.

Colorado Republican: IUDs Are Abortions

A family-planning initiative that provided free intrauterine devices to more than 30,000 women in Colorado is having trouble getting more funding because conservative lawmakers say the contraceptive devices are akin to abortion. Republican Kevin Lundberg, chair of Colorado’s Senate Health Committee, saying that because an IUD in some cases can prevent fertilized eggs from embedding themselves in the uterus, this counts as abortion and thus disqualifies the measure from state funding. “The state constitution says no direct or indirect funding from the state shall go towards abortion,” he said.

Read it at NPR »>

To those who are commenting that the above graphic does not address cases of rape, you are right, it does not. It was never intended to ignore the severity of rape but to present an idea that chastity is an option for those engaging in willing sexual intercourse.

To those commenting on this post and saying that the birth control pill is also a solution for cramps, acne, and other issues, there are alternatives out there that do not involve screwing up your body’s natural hormones. If you look into NaPro technology, or ask your doctor, more and more women are finding healthier and natural choices. 1Flesh.org for example, has great information.

Oral contraceptives, which are potentially abortifacient, provide only symptomatic treatment when prescribed for women’s health problems, and they do not affect the underlying causes. The birth control pill is used to “treat” menstrual cramps, recurrent ovarian cysts, abnormal bleeding, premenstrual syndrome, acne, irregular cycles, and endometriosis.”  The Pope Paul VI Institute is just one of those centres that is offering NEW solutions. Find out more about NaProTechnology.

To those commenting that it’s their body, to be used as they choose, you’re right. It IS your body and it’s your choice but if you want to understand a bit of why I would never recommend contraception or sex outside of marriage, then I invite you to read this post or read some of my previous posts tagged contraception.

Or you could visit The Radiance Foundation's website to read more!

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Anti-choice lawmakers in the Lone Star state have already launched another major attack on women’s healthcare. This week, the Texas Senate filed its first-draft budget for the 2015 session, which proposes a new tiered funding system for breast and cervical cancer screenings that would effectively end funding to Planned Parenthood. Surprise, surprise.

Republicans will not stop trying to police women’s bodies.

A global study by the World Health Organization (WHO) and the Guttmacher Institute found that abortion rates are about the same in countries where it is legal and where it is not.

That’s because pregnant people seek out unqualified abortionists or try to do the job themselves. They are more likely to die or become injured or unable to bear children later, when they’re ready to be good parents.

Deaths among people seeking abortion decreased 90% when it was made legal in South Africa. And in Ethiopia, where the procedure is banned, abortion is the second-leading cause of death among women admitted to hospitals.

Instead of self-righteously condemning abortion, and making laws restricting access, why not do something that keeps pregnant people from feeling a need to get one?

So what prevents abortion?

Interestingly, the more openly a society discusses sexuality, the fewer abortions you get. After all, young people are more educated on their bodies and contraception – which is more available. Some parents worry that the sex talk will encourage experimentation, yet the reverse is true. Kids are less likely to become sexually active, and they are more responsible when the do.

Not surprisingly, the WHO global study found that that the best way to reduce abortion is to make contraception more widely available. When contraception increased in Eastern Europe after the fall of Communism, abortion rates fell by 50%.

Meanwhile, in the US 93% of people having an abortion are adults between the ages of 18-48, and half were using birth control.

Unfortunately, people don’t always use contraception flawlessly. Let’s say you’re on the pill and you remember to take it six hours late? Better use a backup because you are now at serious risk of pregnancy. If you miss two days the pill is considered temporarily ineffective.

Some only use condoms, leaving 15% of users getting pregnant, which is mostly caused by user error.  Condoms combined with spermicide are a lot safer.

Long-lasting birth control is best, like surgery, an IUD or an implant inserted into the arm.

Secondary or emergency contraception also bring down abortion rates. But plenty of religious folks fight it, along with regular contraception.

[source: broad blogs, edited for more gender-neutral langauge]

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Since my recent Stephen Colbert posts I’ve gotten a few people writing to let me know that he wasn’t actually conservative. Thanks, but I know folks - I was just kidding when I wrote, “As a conservative, you were a Worthy Adversary.” That’s a reference to one of his segments. 

Here are a few more memories from the show:

- Stephen sounds the Oppressed White Male alert

- Stephen undermines a conservative argument against contraception

- Stephen gets exasperated by Rick Santorum’s arguments against gay marriage

- Stephen admits the trick behind gendered marketing

- Stephen hangs out with Gloria Steinem and Jane Fonda