I love London ☺️ made the 4:30 train back and currently munching on my trusty nature valley goodness 🙏
Today brought it all home. I need energy - truly need it, to get through this next year of university I need health.
Because getting through for me is not limping through, it is not the illusory life and “freedom” that sacrifices nourishment. Meal. Snack. Meal. Snack. That is my structure for the foreseeable future; an unbreakable structure.
I enjoyed a glass of wine with the girls just before leaving, but this year I want to experiment with cocktails and I will just hve to brave trial and error with diabetes! I am finding a certain level of “certainty” right now is a good thing; suddenly plunging into unknown carbs and having loos sugar fluctuations won’t do my long term mindset any good.
But I am still quite buzzing from lunch - I ordered pizza ☺️ I ate every last crumb; I very nearly left a bit of the crust, then impulsively just put it in my mouth and got it down because all these little appeasements only add up to anorexia staying in control - and I don’t want that. I want control. I want freedom.
I’m feeling more hopeful than I have in a long time; insulin anxieties are still here, but they are better then they’ve been in so long. I can do this. I can.