Pyramid is the only ‘normal’ club I ever go to, and every time I’ve been has only reaffirmed how pointless the “Women just need to learn to be direct!” meme is.
I am always direct. My “No”s, “Do NOT touch me”s, “I don’t want to dance”es, “Go away”s have no effect. This is the understanding of consent that many men have.
After telling one guy “No, I don’t dance like this” [pelvic grinding] three times, he came over, proclaimed “I HAVE to dance with you,” grabbed me by the hip and forced himself against me. I told him, “Dude, I’ve told you no four times.” He didn’t grab me again, but he did continue to hover and probably would have grinded on me again if I hadn’t ignored him.
I am always direct. I am rarely overtly hostile, because I’m in a good, friendly mood, don’t want to spoil my evening, and don’t want to create potentially hostile or dangerous situations. But my denial of consent is very rarely respected, until I become hostile, and even then it is not 100% effective. Like, if I threaten to hurt someone for touching me, instead of touching me again, he’ll just hover nearby and watch me.
So, this is just an illustration. I always encourage people to be direct, and I think it’s a positive step for women to learn to be direct, but don’t act like *women* changing their behavior is the solution to a problem of *men’s* behavior.