Often, I see the words ‘acceptance’ and ‘tolerance’ being used interchangeably. The LGBT community often talks of building a tolerant society, but it is by no means enough. There is a world of difference between tolerance and acceptance. Living someplace that is merely tolerant without acceptance is like an existence within a sensory deprivation chamber. It won’t directly kill you, but it exacts a toll.
—  The Difference Between Tolerance and Acceptance | Brynn Tannehill for the Huffington Post Gay Voices. Read this right now. 

MY FRIENDS DREAM WITH ME

MY DEAR ART BUD FRIENDS - YOU SHARED MY BIRTHDAY WITH ME AND MADE IT THE BEST EVER… your love, hearts, cards, comments, pictures were all such treasures. INFINITE GRATITUDE FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP LOVE AND WELL WISHES. What a great start to yet another trip around the sun. :)

Your friend in CREATIVITY and JOY,

Sam

Made with Paper by FiftyThree

Religious communities are slowly but surely becoming more accepting of LGBT people, according to new research from Duke University. 

Researchers asked leaders from 1,331 different American houses of worship whether LGBT people or same-sex couples would be welcomed and accepted in their congregations. The study found that from 2006 to 2012, acceptance of LGBT congregants rose from 37.4 percent to 48 percent. 

The positive trend for LGBT people were not universal in the study, with Catholic churches exhibiting somewhat less acceptance of gay and lesbian members in 2012 than in 2006. When asked, Chaves told HuffPost he believed the decrease may be correlated to an “increased salience” of homosexuality in the Catholic Church as evidenced by the recent firings of gay teachers in parochial schools and Catholic organizations.

While the Catholic Church’s stance on homosexuality remains seated in the somewhat vague but hopeful words of Pope Francis, “Who am I to judge?”, other church bodies have taken more definitive action to promote LGBT equality. In June the Presbyterian Church (USA) voted in a landmark decision to allow same-sex marriages, following in the footsteps of the U.S. Episcopal Church which made the same decision two years prior.

It’s almost all good news! We’re getting there. 

anonymous said:

Any advice for an ace who finds terms like akoisexual and similar sexualities uncomfortable? I don't have a problem with people identifying as such, but I don't see sexualities such as akoisexual as being a part of asexuality. To me, asexuality is asexuality, grey-ace, and demisexual, with everything else falling under one of those terms. I don't want to judge people, which is why I'm asking this question, but I just don't see why there's all these new terms when it fits into gray ace.

Um… honestly? My advice is to suck it up and deal with it. 

The reason akiosexual is a thing (also lithsexual - which is a term I continue to use because I seem to never remember akiosexual bad Kiowa I will work on that) is because, like gray-asexuals and demisexuals, akiosexuals are functionally asexual, despite feeling some sexual attraction. (Reminder for those confused- akiosexual is where one feels sexual attraction, but does not want it reciprocated, or may stop feeling sexual attraction if it is reciprocated.) 

Gray-aces feel sexual attraction infrequently or under unusual or specific circumstances - they are otherwise functionally asexual. Demisexuals feel sexual attraction only to folks they have a strong bond with - they are otherwise functionally asexual. Akiosexuals feel sexual attraction according to some other parameters (could be any allosexual orientation, demi, or gray-ace), but don’t want to have it reciprocated and may in fact stop being attracted to someone if their feelings are reciprocated - making them functionally asexual. Despite feeling sexual attraction, they aren’t going to act on it, because the object of their attraction could then be attracted to them, killing all the attraction dead, and leaving them feeling asexual anyway. 

I think akiosexual is much closer to the allosexual spectum than to the asexual spectrum than gray-ace and demi, but that doesn’t mean that those folks have to go play with the allo kids. Everyone is welcome here, if they feel they want to be here. 

Here’s the thing: terminology is constantly being tried out to describe the things we’re feeling. For so long, asexual-spectrum folks have only had words like “frigid,” “confused,” “immature,” and “broken” to describe ourselves, and now we’ve found each other and we want to find the words for the things we feel. We want to explore and figure it out. Words will evolve as we use them and make them up and drive them around a bit. 

This community needs to be welcoming and open, not full of all this identity policing. Honestly, this space should be welcoming of asexuals, aromantics, demisexuals, demiromantics, gray-asexuals, gray-romantics, wtfsexuals, wtfromantics, akiosexuals, akioromantics, sex repulsed folks of any sexual orientation, and romance repulsed folks of any romantic orientation - why? Because even if these folks don’t fit neatly into someone’s concept of “asexual” or “aromantic,” they sure as hell don’t fit in allosexual and alloromantic spaces. In particular, heterosexual or heteroromantic folks who identify with another of the terms I just listed really have no place to go, because heterosexual spaces are so hostile to things like sex and romance repulsion. Homosexual spaces are also frequently hostile to the same things. I’m not entirely sure on this one, but I suspect that akio and repulsed folks would also not get a warm welcome in bi, poly, and pansexual spaces. Despite being queer spaces and therefore more accepting, these spaces are also still under heavy influence of compulsory sexuality and amatonormativity, which are detrimental for people whose sexuality and romantic orientation are not to the same group, or who have some element of repulsion clouding things. 

Okay, that got long and full of terms, but tl;dr: suck it up, this is a welcoming space for everyone. 

-Kiowa

image

Annie Edison/Jeff Winger

anonymous said:

Do you ever feel like the community (asexuality spectrum in general) lets you down because it's often an exclusive club? I feel like I see so many posts that suggest asexuality is not wanting sex or not liking anything to do with sex. I'm just kinda like "I thought we agreed it was a lack of sexual attraction?" Not to mention my sexuality swings from low/no sexual attraction to moderate (I use both bi and gray-ace labels, but most gray-ace) and that'll definitely get me kicked out. :( It's sad

because irl I’m not really sexual enough to be allosexual. I don’t want sex, even if I might fantasize about it. And if I use gray-asexual to describe myself to someone, I feel like I’m being honest (I’ll tell them about the bi stuff if I feel close enough), but then I hang around the community and I feel almost like I’m being shunned. I just want a place that gets me and accepts me. The label for myself is great, but I want the community too.

Yes, to be honest, whenever I see people making jokes about not wanting sex, or see aces bonding over a mutual dislike of sex, I feel a little bummed out. The ace community on the whole is a good space for people who don’t like or want sex to finally find others they can relate to (since society in general is all about sex), so people like us who don’t fully relate have to carve out another space for ourselves.

But it might interest you to learn that sometimes sex repulsed aces also feel excluded. In fact, this was a topic of heated discussion a month or two ago, and I think the consensus was that somehow no one really feels like they belong.

The result of this is that the community is actually pretty welcoming to everyone. While the general focus on not wanting sex can seem exclusionary, I also see a lot of people supporting aces who feel sexual attraction and desire. You won’t get kicked out, because everyone here is all about protecting each other and the validity of all our identities. If someone does try to exclude you, then people will shoot them down quickly.

Adding your voice to the discourse can also help. One of the main methods for helping others feel included is to help them find stories from people whose experiences are similar to theirs.

Nickel Plate Road GP7 number 426 leads an Indiana Transportation Museum (ITM) excursion train across the Morse Reservoir in Cicero, Indiana. ITM operates a former Norfolk Southern (originally NKP) branch between Tipton and Indianapolis, with most excursions based out of Fishers. The museum itself is within Forest Park in Noblesville. Visit http://itm.org/ for more information about the museum and its excursions.

You know having resources for sexuality and romance/aromance online is great because even if you don’t consider yourself fitting any label, you can feel you aren’t weird or a freak.

Like, I have no idea if I am romantic or not. I have never had a crush. I don’t do kissy romantic things with my girlfriend, and neither does she with me. But I still say “I love you” because I do. But that “warm and fuzzy feeling” that keeps getting described, I have no idea what the hell that is.

But I also don’t know if it’s a lack of romantic interest or just that my idea of romance isn’t the same as the social norm.

But you know what that’s fine. Instead of lingering on the whole “you’re a loveless monster who dumped her ex and felt nothing but a lost friendship” thing I did several years ago, I don’t feel like a freak.

It’s not always about discovering a label that fits you. Even if that is what many people feel better about.

It’s about knowing that even if no one label fits you well, you fit in with others. You have a belonging where before you had none. You don’t have to worry about if you’re not whole, because you are

2

Sunday market run on my day off. I went with the intention of simply getting things needed for tonight’s dinner, but who am I kidding? I can’t contain myself when it comes to Trader Joe’s. Somehow their flowers always end up in my shopping cart [I also may or may not have splurged on their amazing cookie butter]. Looking forward to having a sweet friend over for dinner – the first time since we’ve moved in!

Family

In life sometimes the only thing that truly matters is the people you love. Your family by birth or by choice are there to help give you identity and to sustain you and give you belonging. It’s those people that help you make lasting memories both good and bad. No matter what, be sure that you love those people and live together in a peace that knows no bounds. God, the universe, circumstances gave you those connections and community to enhance your life. Treasure the time you have together. Lord have mercy and thank you for giving me such people.

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