“50 Cent the rapper ordered a grapefruit soda, the waiter brings him a grapefruit soda, and then 50 Cent said the greatest thing anyone could ever say when they see a grapefruit soda. He looks at the waiter and he goes, ‘Why isn’t this purple?’ Do you realize how amazing this is? There are some parents who aren’t there when their child learns what a grapefruit is. I am there for that moment in rapper 50 Cent’s life!”
Isn’t it something that trying to get big lips is called “The Kylie Jenner Challenge” when black girls have always…. you know what. Nevermind. Auntie Ky is fine with girls experimenting with their look so whatever.
“If I envision what my own personal hell looks like, it’s definitely hanging out with a bunch of Christians for all eternity, listening to your contemporary Christian rock music. Why would you think that that’s music that would compel people to join your religion? If you play it backwards you can hear God screaming ‘NOOOO! Not in my name!’
Comedy Challenge: (6/10) comedians - Paul F. Tompkins In the line of work that I’m in, every day is Saint Patrick’s day So I might decide, any old three o'clock in the afternoon, it’s Saint Patrick’s Day today!
“ This is the story of the best meal I’ve ever had in my life, okay? Happened when I was 11 years old in Chicago, Illinois, where I grew up. I went to a place call the Salt & Pepper Diner with my best friend, John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in $7 and selected 21 plays of Tom Jones’ "What’s New Pussycat”, and then we ordered and waited. Here’s the thing about when “What’s New Pussycat” plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not, “hey, someone’s playing "What’s New Pussycat” it’s hey, “What’s New Pussycat is a lot longer.”