I don't know...

So, the episode ended days ago but the episode still lingers and the heartbreak is still the same. I’ve been trying to find the lightness in the episode; the small amount of hope but it hasn’t been easy. Before I start this rant of nonsense I want to say two very important thing:

  1. The reason why I don’t ship Danny&Clara isn’t because of Doctor&Clara. The reason is because it was rushed, undeveloped, and shoved down our throats. We still don’t know why Clara ”loves” Danny or why he loves her back. We don’t know what makes the relationship work or how long they’ve been together. In the last episode it was briefly mentioned that Danny has worked there for one year, and I’m not sure if this is a flaw by the writers or if it’s been really a year? Still, we haven’t gotten the foundation of why Clara and Danny work together. I also know that the Doctor doesn’t settle down and that the companions always leave. I never thought that Clara and the Doctor were endgame because it’s not that kind of show however, I would have loved Clara with Danny if they weren’t so rushed.

  2. I absolutely, completely adore the hell out of Clara. She became one of my favorites when she was first introduced and this episode hasn’t changed this for me at all. Also I know that the Doctor has his faults too and I see them. There’s no denying that he was an ass towards Danny in this episode and that he’s generally an ass. There’s no excuse in his behavior towards Danny however, the show and Clara never justified his behavior or welcomed it. It was always clear pointed that Clara wouldn’t take the Doctor’s crap and would call him out for it. Still, it bothers me a lot that Clara didn’t say anything when Danny was mocking the Doctor.

Now comes my post. Firstly, I was really upset over the ”not my type” comment made by Clara but thinking of it, it makes sense. Ever since 8x01 it’s been clear that Clara isn’t the shallow type and she never cared about the Doctor’s appearance or the fact that he was young. No, what Clara likes is the person the Doctor is – the man that made her believe in heroes: her hero. Doctor, like Danny himself, is a solider but a solider without a gun.I think that that’s Clara’s type. Clara’s type is everything that the Doctor is, and Danny shares most of those qualities. So it makes sense that Adrian isn’t her type because he might dress like Eleven, but Clara didn’t like Eleven for his bow ties ; she liked him because of who he was underneath.

Which got me thinking, what if the Doctor wanted better for Clara? Wanted someone who wasn’t a solider and dangerous, and had a bad past? What if he wanted someone as sweet and adorable like Adrian? Someone he only met for seconds but could see that he wasn’t full with baggage? What if the Doctor didn’t want Danny for Clara because Danny is way too alike himself? I’m not saying that the Doctor wasn’t jealous because I’m sure that he was, but I think that the Doctor feels like he’s not good enough for Clara and therefore so isn’t Danny. I’m not sure if this makes any sense at all but yes.

Secondly, it broke my heart when Clara described the Doctor as an alien and then afterwards told Danny that she didn’t love him, which Danny obviously didn’t believe in. I think that Clara knows that the Doctor will leave and that she can’t be with him forever, and I think that in a way she’s pushing him away. She goes and travels with him and she wants the best of two worlds however, she’s always slowly pulling away. She doesn’t want to get too attached to him because she knows that the Doctor leaves, she knows that he will change again, and that if he doesn’t leave then she will. I’m sure that this doesn’t make any sense but there’s no way that Clara doesn’t love the Doctor because she does I just think that she can’t put it into words and that she’s afraid.

Also, let me remind you that in the Christmas episode Clara said ”if you love him and you should” meaning that they should love him because who doesn’t? She loves him. She fancies him. He’s her hero. Of course she loves him, she just doesn’t want to say it out loud because then what? What does saying it aloud change for her? He’s not her boyfriend. He’s a X year old time traveler and he will leave her. He’s already left her before, so she’s afraid and there she has Danny who is there and he’s not a time traveler and he wants to be with her and he won’t leave her, so saying it to him isn’t scary at all but admitting that she loves the Doctor is. However, she does and there’s no denying it.

So the conclusion is: 1. The Doctor doesn’t want Danny for Clara because Danny reminds him too much of himself. 2. The Doctor is Clara’s type. 3. Clara isn’t shallow. She doesn’t care about the bow ties or the fez. 4. Clara loves the Doctor but she’s afraid to admit it. 5. They both love each other. 6. They are cute and adorable. 7. They are both two idiots. 8. We all hate and love them. 9. The Doctor and the TARDIS live in Clara’s apartment. 10. I make no sense.

Ps. Can we talk about how amazing it is that Clara looks older when Jenna hasn’t aged at all? But she looks so much wiser and mature and just older than S7!Clara. It’s not only her way to be but her everything and it’s so weird, but also way to go Jenna you’re a star.