chumpies

First we had Homegirls. Then we had Chumpies. After that we had Rap Snacks. Now...I present to you: PAPI'S!

As long-term readers of this site know, I’m kind of obsessed with urban-marketed snacks. It might be the fact that they can only be found in corner stores that initially drew me in, as I am a big fan of corner stores. However, I think it was the ridiculousness that kept me hooked like a trout on a fishing line. Before we get into the new line of urban snacks to hit the market, lets recap. 

We had Homegirls Potato Chips featuring Maria, Kathy, and Rasheeda.

Then we had Chumpies Chocolate Covered Pretzels featuring the “H-Boys”, also known as Kareem, Rafael, and Eric.

Lastly, we had Rap Snacks featuring Romeo, where he compares himself to Martin Luther King or some shit like that.

This morning I found myself at a corner store in North Philadelphia and discovered we now have a new line of chips: PAPI’S!

Four different varieties! Lets dissect a little deeper…

Red Hot Chili Flavored!

Cheese, Garlic, and Onion Flavored!

Philly Magic Flavored (I have zero idea what this could possibly be),

And…Cheesy Sweet Chili Flavored.

The good news doesn’t stop there though, just like all the others, these chips have a manifesto attached:

A shout out: to you who profit from the sale of illegal weapons, which land in the hands of the incompetent.

A shout out:to you who introduce indoctrination that entrap the ignorant into the use of guns and bullets.

A shout out:to you who knowingly profit from the imprisonment of the ignorant.

A shout out: to the hardheaded youth who never live in the liberties of our great society having received life sentences.

A shout out: to all others (the price of education is far cheaper than the cost of IGNORANCE).

————————

Speechless. 

4

Think about the happiest day in your life. The day you met that special someone. The day you graduated college. The day you moved out on your own. All of those pale in comparison to the great day I am already having this morning because I discovered at my local corner store that Chumpies have completely rebranded themselves.

For those unfamiliar with Chumpies they are a strangely marketed snack that I have never seen outside of a corner store. At first they were chocolate-covered pretzels that featured the H-Boys, three people straight out of “Yo! MTV Raps.” Now, Chumpies have rebranded themselves with more modern looking packaging. Also, the H-Boys are no longer.

Also gone is the inspirational message on the back, replaced with a simple message about saying no to drugs. Perhaps the biggest change is that these were surprisingly tasty and well-seasoned potato chips instead of chocolate-covered pretzels.

Like I said, this was an awesome morning.

3

Chumpies and Homegirls

It’s a weird nostalgia because although I remember them, I never ate them when I was younger. These weren’t even mine; refinedmonstrosity found out that they still made them (they’re based in Philadelphia) and picked up a few. All of the designs are new to me. The old bags had illustrations closer to the one on the chocolate covered pretzels and the casts were less diverse.

From the makers of "Homegirls" Potato Chips comes the latest urban snack: "Chumpies"

A couple months ago, I posted about Homegirls Potato Chips. The hilarious ”urban themed” potato chips that feature incredibly outdated illustrations of “homegirls” followed by a manifesto about what it means to be a homegirl, becuase everyone loves reading a goddamn lecture when stuffing potato chips in their mouth. Today, I found a related product to the legendary Homegirls chips, which are known as “Chumpies.”

There I was. Walking along Oxford Avenue at 29th Street, looking down at the copious amounts of trash on the ground, wondering why my city has to be so filthy. Then, I saw a snack bag that looked different from all the others. It had people on it. My heart fluttered, and I immediately picked up the bag and quickly stuffed it in my back pocket so I could photograph it. Ladies and gentlemen, Chumpies:

Unreal. Was this really made in 2013? Kareem has an Arsenio Hall haircut, Rafael looks like a cross between a drug dealer and a pimp, and perhaps the most hilarious of the three, Eric, is carrying an old style boombox and wearing high-top sneakers with a zebra-striped vest. Uh…what? Are they trying to appeal to hipsters with this, or just people like me who saw “White Men Can’t Jump” two decades ago? Who knows. Like “Homegirls”, “Chumpies” also has a motivational blurb on the back:

How inspirational! We all know that the path to success starts with delicious chocolate covered pretzels. 

A mummy appeared on my lot and just started catching blue fire for no reason.

#Sims 1 Logic


BTW, the creeps in this family are hobos. Chumpie the Hobo (left) and Daryl the Tacky Gigolo (these are the kind of people you make in Sims 1 when you’re in your twenties haha)

I don’t even know where the dark-haired face came from???! Is it new to the Sims Complete Collection? Seriously, click on the photo above and look at his frickin’ face!
I’m pretty damn sure when I was a kid this head was not there….suspiscious

coolmiddlename asked:

the group leader is probably gonna be Meenah, lets be honest now. The red herring is actually referencing Aranea though I think. But Meenah is at this point definitely coming back to life.

Hm, I’m not sure?

Meenah’s made it clear she’s happy with the way things are.

MEENAH: but the point is blue chump
MEENAH: im happy now
MEENAH: more than i was on my moon with my sweet gold statues an shit
MEENAH: and more than i think ill be if i gotta be alive again and have to go knocking over galaxies or whatever to make a bomb new fishqueen empire
MEENAH: but its killin me blue schmuck
MEENAH: its killin me to know you got that ring and knowin ill have to take it from ya some day
MEENAH: augh why
MEENAH: why you have to swim in here and present me with this codawful dilemma
MEENAH: why do you have to be so lame and chumpy and such an obvious mark
MEENAH: your dork ass face just screams waaaah gimme a fuckin wedgie and take my ring!
MEENAH: but i dont wanna but i think i gotta cause i mean come on OBVIOUSLY its mine, just why
MEENAH: W)(Y W)(Y W)(Y W)(Y W)(Y W)(Y W)(Y
JOHN: ok, jeez!
JOHN: i promise no matter what, i won’t let you have the ring!
JOHN: i’ll hide it or something. or better yet, i’ll just give it to someone else before you get the chance to steal it.
JOHN: how does that sound?
MEENAH: T)(ANK YOU

So no, I think Meenah’s out of the question, and I don’t see how you would have come to the conclusion that the “mystery leader” is Aranea in the first place?

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