chumpies

now dasher! now dancer! now prancer and hickson! on crumbly, on chumpy, on dootie and blipson! now pancake, now cheesey, now weepy and denny! on crabapple, cheesecake, on squidward and lenny! um, now, uhhh, on, well, just, i can’t remember all of your names, just everybody else come on, we got somes work to do.

First we had Homegirls. Then we had Chumpies. After that we had Rap Snacks. Now...I present to you: PAPI'S!

As long-term readers of this site know, I’m kind of obsessed with urban-marketed snacks. It might be the fact that they can only be found in corner stores that initially drew me in, as I am a big fan of corner stores. However, I think it was the ridiculousness that kept me hooked like a trout on a fishing line. Before we get into the new line of urban snacks to hit the market, lets recap. 

We had Homegirls Potato Chips featuring Maria, Kathy, and Rasheeda.

Then we had Chumpies Chocolate Covered Pretzels featuring the “H-Boys”, also known as Kareem, Rafael, and Eric.

Lastly, we had Rap Snacks featuring Romeo, where he compares himself to Martin Luther King or some shit like that.

This morning I found myself at a corner store in North Philadelphia and discovered we now have a new line of chips: PAPI’S!

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Four different varieties! Lets dissect a little deeper…

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Red Hot Chili Flavored!

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Cheese, Garlic, and Onion Flavored!

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Philly Magic Flavored (I have zero idea what this could possibly be),

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And…Cheesy Sweet Chili Flavored.

The good news doesn’t stop there though, just like all the others, these chips have a manifesto attached:

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A shout out: to you who profit from the sale of illegal weapons, which land in the hands of the incompetent.

A shout out:to you who introduce indoctrination that entrap the ignorant into the use of guns and bullets.

A shout out:to you who knowingly profit from the imprisonment of the ignorant.

A shout out: to the hardheaded youth who never live in the liberties of our great society having received life sentences.

A shout out: to all others (the price of education is far cheaper than the cost of IGNORANCE).

————————

Speechless. 

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Chumpies and Homegirls

It’s a weird nostalgia because although I remember them, I never ate them when I was younger. These weren’t even mine; refinedmonstrosity found out that they still made them (they’re based in Philadelphia) and picked up a few. All of the designs are new to me. The old bags had illustrations closer to the one on the chocolate covered pretzels and the casts were less diverse.

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Think about the happiest day in your life. The day you met that special someone. The day you graduated college. The day you moved out on your own. All of those pale in comparison to the great day I am already having this morning because I discovered at my local corner store that Chumpies have completely rebranded themselves.

For those unfamiliar with Chumpies they are a strangely marketed snack that I have never seen outside of a corner store. At first they were chocolate-covered pretzels that featured the H-Boys, three people straight out of “Yo! MTV Raps.” Now, Chumpies have rebranded themselves with more modern looking packaging. Also, the H-Boys are no longer.

Also gone is the inspirational message on the back, replaced with a simple message about saying no to drugs. Perhaps the biggest change is that these were surprisingly tasty and well-seasoned potato chips instead of chocolate-covered pretzels.

Like I said, this was an awesome morning.

From the makers of "Homegirls" Potato Chips comes the latest urban snack: "Chumpies"

A couple months ago, I posted about Homegirls Potato Chips. The hilarious ”urban themed” potato chips that feature incredibly outdated illustrations of “homegirls” followed by a manifesto about what it means to be a homegirl, becuase everyone loves reading a goddamn lecture when stuffing potato chips in their mouth. Today, I found a related product to the legendary Homegirls chips, which are known as “Chumpies.”

There I was. Walking along Oxford Avenue at 29th Street, looking down at the copious amounts of trash on the ground, wondering why my city has to be so filthy. Then, I saw a snack bag that looked different from all the others. It had people on it. My heart fluttered, and I immediately picked up the bag and quickly stuffed it in my back pocket so I could photograph it. Ladies and gentlemen, Chumpies:

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Unreal. Was this really made in 2013? Kareem has an Arsenio Hall haircut, Rafael looks like a cross between a drug dealer and a pimp, and perhaps the most hilarious of the three, Eric, is carrying an old style boombox and wearing high-top sneakers with a zebra-striped vest. Uh…what? Are they trying to appeal to hipsters with this, or just people like me who saw “White Men Can’t Jump” two decades ago? Who knows. Like “Homegirls”, “Chumpies” also has a motivational blurb on the back:

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How inspirational! We all know that the path to success starts with delicious chocolate covered pretzels. 

geesissy asked:

The response to the "FTP" photo you posted is super chumpy, and missed the entire point of the a single flyer. Every 28 hours a black person dies in the hand of the police. It's not a "profession" like a fucking bank teller, is the active force (connecting to prisons) that make life insufferable for black and brown people. I'm not sure why you, James, felt this was a crucial response to post with this photo? Are they trying to say something about white supremacy, but not getting it?

The reactions are a project I worked on. I shot a roll. I got the prints. I wrote my feelings about each one. 

Real shit, I don’t give a fuck what you find to be “chumpy” or whatever. I am black. I have a cousin that was shot and killed by a police officer. Almost every black person I know can cite at least one negative interaction they’ve had with police. Even with that, the deaths of Renisha McBride, Jordan Davis, Trayvon Martin and countless others stand as proof that this isn’t just a problem with the police. The reactions of a society that is more concerned with the disruption of their shopping and xmas tree lighting than the actual deaths of black people, a society that doesn’t value the lives of black people in the first place, that’s the problem. You have white people from that society who grow up in it and take jobs as a police officers to perpetrate violence against my community, but it’s also the Theodore Wafers, Michael Dunns, and George Zimmermans of the world enacting that same kind of violence.

I’ll admit I was heated when I wrote it, but I don’t feel like white society in general gives a fuck about us. That was my point. It was less of a reaction to that particular flyer and more me venting. Which is fine because it’s my paper, my pen, my photos, and my blog. 

Tagged by @ohinsomniac and ialwaysfall-lighter

The rules are to fill this in and tag 10 people you want to get to know better, so here we go:

Name: Martina
Nicknames: oh god. Main ones are like Martin, Marty, Farto, Lil’ Goose and Babe I guess
but you asked for it (these are the ones that have been used more than once..bc theres too man):
Martinac, Chumpy Poops, Martigneousrock formation, Marsqueena, Marzipan, Mardraqueena, MarkTwaina, Marspoona, Mariachiband, Fleshy McSuiterson
Birthday: jurlai 17th
Gender: Female
Sexual Orientation: I guess if you want a label I’d probably say Heteroromantic demisexual
Height: 5’
Favorite Color: Basically everything in the blue spectrum 
Time & Date Right Now: 12:22am, Dec 18, 2014
Average Hours of Sleep:  
uhm..7 if I have school.9 if I dont..roughly.
Lucky number: 17? idk its my fav. I like 13 and 9 tho
Last Thing I Googled: NFL outcomes
First Word That Comes to Mind: Pickles..because that’s what Linette wrote.
Place That Makes Me Happy: It’s less physical spaces these days and more so emotional, like with people I love.
How Many Blankets I Sleep Under: a sheet and comforter usually.
Favorite Fictional Character: there are far too many..
Favorite Book: HP, Alice, anything by Bryan Lee O’Malley and Rainy Day Magic by Mary Louise-Gay
Favorite Animation: Sailor Moon, Bee and Puppycat, a lot of disney/pixar things. Studio Ghibli
Favorite Tv Show: PUSHING DAISIES,The Office (American), other Bryan Fuller shows, Dollhouse
Favorite Beverage: IDK..water, tea, shirley temples.
Favorite Food: pasta and ice cream.
Last Movie I’ve Seen in Theater: Big Hero 6 
Dream Holiday: Probably Europe. OR an all expense paid trip to Disney.
Dream Wedding: I still dont know.

Dream job: hah. doing something with costumes and props I guess.

10 people i would want to know better: thoughtsink, haspipsah, littlevillains, thecopperriver, megagreymon, misskittypimms, miss-mollie03, ayeltumbleforyou
okay thats who I’m picking.

I miss the cupcake days. It made me so happy.
Id do anything just to be extra chumpy and constantly be called “ghey ” for it, even though you were just as lovey dovey as i was and more.