Please fire me. Last Christmas, one of the VPs in my office gave me a present. It was an old garden lamp full of dead bugs, dirt and cobwebs.  This year, she gave me a used scent stick diffuser. Does she think I can’t tell the difference between old and new?

“One of my best friends is on the wealthy side and has been her whole life. She’s one of the kindest people I know and she knows how much Disney means to me. We live in Florida, so trips to WDW are pretty regular, but my family is sorta struggling right now so we’ve reduced our trips to only going once a year to the Christmas Party. My friend has started always taking me with her and paying for me every time and I’m so grateful, but I feel bad because I have no way to repay her”

Please fire me.  This was the employee Christmas party: employees were asked to make cookies so all the managers could taste them for a cookie judging contest.  Hardly a party when we were asked to drop them off at the managers’ office before starting work.

I’ve been invited to a Christmas party this Friday! I’m kinda choked up because this is the first Christmas party I’ve been invited to that doesn’t involve my family. (I wasn’t a popular kid in high school. Or college.)

Anyway, anyway. I was told that we’d be playing Dirty Santa. I asked the host if I should bring a gift-gift or a gag-gift and he said whatever I wanted. 

Oh, God. He may regret that.

I reigned myself in and bought something reasonably acceptable. 

I’m putting this book:

In this box:

I think it’s hilarious. Maybe I won’t embarrass myself.  

The host mentioned that I could bring a guest. I wondered why he brought it up at all until I remembered I’m Facebook dating Christopher Tietjens.