child-abuse

Nitro West Virginia - Thomas Christopher Wimer, 28, has been arrested and charged with child abuse resulting in injury. Wimer is accused of abusing his girlfriend’s 7 year old son.

The boy told police that Wimer would sometimes fold him up, where his legs were over his head, and it would make his belly hurt. He also said that Wimer would pick him up and drop him on the floor, on top of toys. The boy also said that Wimer would make up things and accuse him of doing things he didn’t do just so he could punish him.

Child protective services had been called by the boy’s school, and the case worker found injuries consistent with abuse on the boy and she called police. Police went to the home and found Ashley Lovejoy, the boys mother, and Justine Wimer, Thomas Wimers ex-wife. (wtf?)

The boy told police during their visit that Wimer sometimes punched him in the stomach so hard that he couldn’t breathe. Wimer would ask the boy questions and beat him if he didn’t know the answer.

The case worker from CPS told police that when she was at the home earlier that day, she could tell that Wimer was under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Wimer was not at the home when police arrived and Ashley Lovejoy told police that she had no idea that Wimer was hurting her son. She also told police that she came home and threw Wimer out of her house after she was contacted by the school.

The boys injuries were photographed. He had cuts, scratches, bruises and abrasions to his upper body.  Wimer was subsequently arrested and booked into South Central Regional Jail on Thursday, where he remains on $15,000 bond.

Screenshot because this guy doesn’t deserve traffic but this is what a trans man who sent me hate is saying on their blog.

Like, fuck, I’ve said violent shit in anger and depression as a way of coping but I’ve never advocated child abuse.

I’m sorry, but to me that goes way beyond the pale. Child abuse and csa are the line you do not cross.

Report: U.S. Soldiers, Contractors Sexually Abused 54 Children in Colombia

Apr. 3 2015

A new report commissioned by the Colombian government and FARC rebels has concluded U.S. soldiers and military contractors sexually abused at least 54 children in Colombia between 2003 and 2007. The investigator cites one case where 53 girls in the town of Melgar were targeted by contractors who filmed the abuse and sold the films as pornography. In another case, a 12-year-old girl was allegedly drugged and raped by a U.S. Army sergeant and a contractor. Under immunity agreements, none of the alleged abusers were ever punished. The media group FAIR notes the story has received no coverage in the U.S. corporate media. A number of U.S. outlets have reported on a new Justice Department probe which concludes U.S. drug enforcement agents in Colombia participated in “sex parties” with prostitutes hired by Colombian drug cartels.

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Oakland County Child Killer

Between 1976 and 1977, an unidentified killer stalked the roads of sleepy Oakland County, Michigan, abducting and killing at least four children, two girls and two boys: Mark Stebbins, 12, Jill Robinson, 12, Kristine Mihelich, 10, and Timothy King, 11. Mark was strangled and sexually assaulted with an object. Jill was killed by a shotgun blast to the face, Kristine was smothered, and Timothy suffocated and assaulted in the same fashion as Mark. 

Each child had been held captive for several days before being murdered, and laid out neatly where they were meant to be found. Jill Robinson was found within view of a police station. The killings resulted in a mass paranoia in the area; children were rarely left alone for a second, and at least one innocent man was beaten for the mistake of talking to a child.

A massive investigation heralded several suspects, but no solid case has ever been built. Recently, some have come to believe noted serial killer John Wayne Gacy has been implicated in the murders, but it seems unlikely, as it did not match his modus operandi of raping and killing older teenage boys. In 1978, the killing stopped cold.

Perhaps the most chilling aspect of the case was a letter written by Timothy King’s mother in the “Detroit News”. Marion King begged her son’s captor to let him go so that he might return home and enjoy his favorite meal, Kentucky Fried Chicken. When the boy’s body was found, an autopsy showed that the killer had fed him fried chicken. (Source)

PLEASE spread this

I reblogged a post yesterday about a dentist who physically assaulted his child patient and added a comment on the post about my own experience with an abusive pediatric dentist, but I wanted to make a post of my own warning people about him.

When I was a child, my younger brother and I went to a dentist called Dr. David Moore. In front of our parents, Dr. Moore acted professional and nice, but once I was alone with him, his behavior completely changed. I had a tendency to talk too much sometimes as a kid, and if it started to annoy him, he would clamp his hand over my mouth and yell at me to “shut the fuck up”. If I accidentally bit him, he would scream at me, calling me a “bitch” and a “cunt”. I didn’t understand what those words meant at the time, but I do now, and I know that calling a little girl those names is inexcusable. When he got really angry, he would grab my upper jaw with his hand while I was lying down and violently yank me up into a seating position, pull me down into the chair by my hair, pinch me, or slam my head against the chair. Sometimes, he would also hold me down or strap me to the chair so that I couldn’t move and stick this painful mouth prop thing into my mouth.

The scariest thing of all, though, is something that at the time, I didn’t even think anything of. Dr. Moore would give me an injection that he called “fairy dust” that would “help me go to sleep”. Like most kids, I was scared of needles, but he would get angry if I said anything or even whimpered or flinched slightly when he stuck me with the needle, and start shouting at me that there was no needle and that I was lying, even though I could clearly see and feel the needle that he was sticking into my face. Then he would put a mask over my face and tell me to take deep breaths, and I would lose consciousness.

At the time, I assumed this was just something he was supposed to be doing, but I recently read an article in a local magazine describing how Dr. Moore would unnecessarily put his patients under general anesthesia (which he did not have a permit for) and leave them unattended.

Dr. Moore physically abused me and many other children without facing consequences until 2006, when he had his license suspended after choking a patient–for a mere 6 months. He is now back and practicing pediatric dentistry in Charlotte, and it terrifies me to think that parents are leaving their children alone with this man.

I found this article detailing some of the things he did to other children, many of which were all too familiar to me.

In one case described in a report by the North Carolina State Board of Dental Examiners, Moore pulled a girl “off of the dental chair by her head and neck and slammed her against the window in the operatory.” In another, he choked a boy and left marks on the child’s neck and face. A third child also emerged from his office with marks on his cheeks and arms after Moore strapped him to a chair and used a mouth prop that caused unnecessary bleeding.

His name is Dr. David Moore and he is at Charlotte Pediatric Dentistry in Charlotte, North Carolina. PLEASE, DO NOT TAKE YOUR CHILDREN TO SEE THIS MAN OR LEAVE THEM ALONE WITH HIM, and please reblog this to get the word out about this dangerous man.

Let’s Talk About Abusive Friendship

When I was sixteen, I was aware that domestic violence was a thing. I knew that it wasn’t okay for someone to be physically violent with you, no matter how much they said they loved you. But there were two important things I did not know:

The first thing I didn’t know is that Emotional Abuse exists and is extremely damaging. I had done sex and relationship education at school. And we talked (super duper briefly, in one lesson) about Domestic Violence. But we did not cover Emotional Abuse. So all I knew was that Physical Violence is bad and I should never tolerate it.

The second thing I didn’t know is that abuse can exist in friendships. I knew about relationships and about child abuse. But I did not know that the same damaging relationship dynamics in families or romantic partners can apply in platonic friendships.

And that I didn’t know these two things is a tragedy and a failure in the way we teach children about love and relationships and respect.

When I was fifteen and sixteen, I was an immensely lonely kid. I had a large group of friends, but I still felt isolated. I was bullied. I had zero body-confidence and little self esteem. I suffered from depression (and some weird other symptoms that now make much more sense in context of my bipolar diagnosis). I was anxious and I looked it. I was queer and I didn’t know that, because I thought Straight and Gay were the only options and I knew I wasn’t gay.

Anyway, I had this friend. He was a very charming, good looking young man. He was the kind of boy a lot of fifeen year old girls would fall in love with. And I was in love with him. He wasn’t in love with me and I knew that, but it was okay, because why would he be? The fact that he even spoke to me was a miracle, in my eyes. Because I saw myself as pretty worthless and unnattractive and boring and everything else I was told I was by bullies. So, I was excited just to be friends with this boy.

Our friendship confused me, though. Sometimes we would be friends and we could talk about anything. Sometimes he complimented me and my whole world was brighter. Sometimes he was really mean. One time, I called him and he denied knowing who I was or even knowing anyone with my name. That’s weird, right? It felt weird, even though I knew I wasn’t very memorable. I mean, we saw each other every day at school, and though it was school holidays, it still seemed odd he would forget me entirely, even with prompting.

Two weeks later, I saw him and he apologised for forgetting who I was and flirted with me for hours.

Now that I’m an adult and an angry feminist, I know about a thing called the Cycle of Abuse. My friendship with this boy followed the Cycle of Abuse exactly.

There would be a building tension. He would slowly increase the amount of bargaining I had to do to get his attention. He was aware I was in love with him and craved his attention, so he would strategically withhold and provide friendship based on arbitrary goalposts. One day he would be exceptionally delightful and the next he would be harsh and mean, and I would frantically alter my behaviour to try and figure out how to get the outcome I wanted. I tried being flirtier, less flirty, talking more, talking less, talking about him, talking about myself, talking about other things, complimenting him, being aloof, dressing one way, dressing another, sounding smart, sounding vague… But there was no connection between my behaviour and the amount of affection he showed me. I just ended up confused and stressed and desperate to figure out what I was doing wrong.

Then would come an incident. He was never physically violent, but some flagrant act of cruelty would occur. Something much worse than the everyday confidence-undermining remarks. That includes the time he pretended not to know who I was. There was also verbal abuse. There was mocking me. One of his favourites was unfavourably comparing me to other girls, sometimes at some length. He would deny we were friends. Horrible stuff you should never put up with from anyone, but never anything I would have described as violent. Or even as mean, because I thought I deserved it.

Next would be a reconciliation. He was deeply sorry he’d forgotten who I was, he didn’t know how he could have done that. Of course he didn’t mean what he’d said. It was only a joke. I was too sensitive. What was I talking about? I had misunderstood him. He hadn’t even spoken to me that day. I was crazy. Almost always, this would be gaslighting behaviour, meaning he denied my memory of the situation. This ranged from suggesting I had misunderstood to outright denial the incident had occurred. I was always willing to forgive.

Finally there would be calm. He was super nice to me for weeks on end. He was charming and delightful and I had every reason to be in love with him again. We were friends and it was fine. I must have been crazy to be so mad at him.

And then the cycle started over. And over and over.

Although no physical violence ever occurred, this was a form of Emotional Violence. He acted with deliberate intention to cause me emotional harm.

This kind of abuse is actually very common in a romantic relationship and parents also often do this to their children. It is a way to control the victim and exert power over them. 

How do I know I wasn’t just a regular love-sick teenager being overdramatic? How do I know this behaviour was deliberate? How do I know my depression and anxiety aren’t colouring my perception of the situation?

Because he admitted to it. More than that, he proudly proclaimed it.

After a year of this, it ended. In one final incident, our relationship was effectively severed. It was painful, but at the time it just seemed like the kind of formative first heartbreak that many many teens go through. Sad, but no one was to blame, I thought. However, my pain was public and obvious. I cried for six straight hours, in a public setting. Everyone knew. Imagine that. Six straight hours of sobbing so hard I couldn’t speak and every one I knew was there to see it. They offered help, they offered condolences. But no one could help. An older girl, who had never met me before, sat with me and held my hand for over an hour and I was never even able to look up and see her face. That is some humiliating shit.

There’s one degree of separation in this town. Over the next year I made a new friend and so did he. The same friend, although neither of us realised for a while. Eventually, she made the connection. And he told her, proudly, that of course he knew me. He had broken my heart. It took a year, but the payoff was spectacular. She should have seen me crying. And words to that effect.

Being a decent human being, she lost her shit, told him what scum he was and very compassionately repeated to me what he had said, feeling I had the right to know.

I didn’t cry. I was angry. I don’t, to be perfectly honest, remember much about that period at all, except the crippling depression. I do remember my best friend and I revealing this appalling revelation to other so-called friends and hearing them reply “Oh, I knew that. He told me.”

When all this went down, I had recently had my first boyfriend, a relationship that lasted six weeks. I didn’t date again for eight years. I went through a period of extreme depression. My psychologist went through the experience with me at length, explaining that what I was feeling was actually a form of grief, and that I was totally entitled to take as long as I needed to process it.

It has been 13 years and I have not processed it yet. Although I no longer have contact with him or anyone who does, a mutual friend from those days once mentioned his name (this was about six or seven years later) and was horrified when I burst into tears. A week ago, I saw a photo of myself with him that someone had innocently uploaded to Facebook. I haven’t slept properly since. What happened the year I was 16 is the single most important, defining moment of my life. I cannot adequately stress how hurt I was by this person.

So, let’s talk about Abusive Friendships.

Because I want every kid to know that what happened to me was not okay. This was Abuse.

I didn’t know what to call it. He wasn’t my boyfriend, so it wasn’t domestic violence. He never so much as shoved me, so it wasn’t physical violence or anything I felt I could report to a teacher or adult. Yet the damage is still there, nearly 15 years later.

So, here’s what I’ve learned. Advice for everyone, from little kids through to grown adults. Abusive Friendships Exist:

If a person calls themselves your friend, but treats you in a way that makes you feel bad about yourself, it is okay to remove that person from your life.

If a friend treats you badly, puts you down, harms you physically, emotionally or sexually, ignores your boundaries, belittles you, treats you as inferior or in any way makes you concerned for your safety, it is okay to end that friendship.

If anyone treats you this way, it is not your fault. You do not deserve this treatment. You have a right to be sad, angry or scared.

Friendships are about positive interaction. They should make you feel good. If you find being friends with a person makes you feel bad (even if sometimes it seems good), then you go ahead and end that friendship.

Abusive Friendship is real. Spread the word.

This really rubs me the wrong way. It seems dangerously close to justifying abuse. (from etsy, found on pinterest).

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To me, this does justify abuse. It says in more words, that love is stalking and distrust…I mean, when you get this from your parent, how are you supposed to know that it’s not ok in general?

I’m sure I’ll have some people jumping all over me about how I’m overreacting or it’s supposed to be cute or whatever (just like they did about a post a few years ago about a dad and his shot gun in regards to his daughter…AW SO CUTE GUN VIOLENCE TO PROTECT THE WIMMINZ) but I don’t care. I’m from an abusive household where this type of mentality and actions were acted out and it wasn’t fucking cute. 

I pretty much want nothing to do with Tina Fey or Lena Dunham, I will not enjoy talking about them with you unless it’s to point out how shitty they are, so please do not come into my ask box like they’re godsends don’t do it

Like Lena Dunham molested her little sister and talked about her being a lesbian in like the fucking grossest terms possible and tina fey is racist as hell just don’t don’t do it just don’t