cranky pants at coles
probably going to make lots of these… i tend to accumulate lots of stories from this job but idk it feels kinda weird (disrespectful???) making comics about people i dont know but then again it makes for some interesting material.

How NOT to be the world's most irritating customer.

I’ve been working on registers as a “check out chick” (hate that term but I am what I am) for over 3 and a half years now and I actually really do enjoy it. However, I’ve noticed throughout this time, some very irritating customer behaviours, which many of you may recognise as well.

Here are my top 10.

1.  ”I’ll just be back I’ve got to grab one more thing” when I hear this and have a line as long as the Great Wall of China, I am not impressed… especially when they end up circling the shop again and you’re just standing there looking like a stuffed duck while people wonder if someone has hit the “pause” button on the check out girl…

2.  When a customer doesn’t want to wait in line so they come up behind you. (Where I work this can occur easily) No. Stop staring at my back. I’m not going to serve you when I’m serving someone who waited in line. It’s even worse when they point at an item and chuck you a coin and leave a puff of smoke behind as they high tail out of there. A plus side is when the original customer you’re serving comments on how rude the other customer was. SO I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THAT! *throws a party for humanity inside my head*

3.  When a customer leaves one bag (or sometimes the whole lot) behind, just sitting on the counter. This means for me, that I have to leave my register, chase after them (mind you I probably have already forgotten their gender, let alone what they were wearing) screaming “YOU FORGOT YOUR BAGS!!!!” *walks back to counter, continues on with life, nothing happened here*

4.  *Plonks down basket* I look inside and see a fruit salad, because they have decided not to use the small bags PROVIDED to put the items in. What they fail to realise is that the transaction literally takes 5 times longer as I struggle to make some sense of the fruit party going on in the basket, AND there is a 100% chance I will drop their onions EVERYWHERE.

5.  That item costs $1.20 … DON’T ASK IF YOU CAN PAY BY CARD. If you don’t have any spare change don’t try putting a red chilli on card. Please and thank you.

6.  ”One banana, one cabbage, four apples…” and so on. If I don’t know the difference between a banana and a cabbage I would be definitely thinking I should make different life choices, such as, not working at a food outlet.

7.  Green bags. Now, I love those things, but only when they aren’t falling apart as I put the items in. What’s worse is when a customer gives me this tiny, flimsy bag and says “chuck the lot in.” Seriously? I can’t put a week’s worth of groceries into your supposedly “deceptively small but can fit a lot in it” bag. Where is the logic?

8.  The good old, “I’ll just curse you in a different language and you won’t even know” trick. Now this has only happened once to me, I can’t even remember what I had supposedly done wrong but a lady swore at me in Italian. GUESS WHAT. I’M ITALIAN. It actually made my day, and made me feel legendary when I posted about it on Facebook and got 30+ likes. Me: 1 Customer: 0.

9.  Now this, I can usually forgive, because I used to do it as a kid too.  When kids sit down where you need to put the packed bags.  PLEASE PARENTS TELL THEM TO MOVE! Or your groceries may well accidentally end up all over the floor.

10.  This is getting really picky, but it’s irritating nonetheless. Say, a shop nearby that is usually closed on a certain day, is open. Every customer asks “Why is it open today? It’s not usually open today!” Say, a carpark near the shop is being renovated, every customer asks when the renovations will be finished. I’m sorry but I would have no idea as I am not a trained builder. Say, I got a new uniform, every customer states the blatantly obvious, “You got a new uniform”. Once I even got, “wow that uniform makes you look very manly”. Thanks. Now of course, each customer has no idea what the last one said to me, but it’s amazing how EVERYONE seems to notice the same thing, and decide to comment on it.

Anyway, this is my top 10 for now. I have most likely been caught out doing those exact behaviours, but after working for 2 years, I really hope that I’ve learnt to refrain from doing some of those behaviours, because I know I’m not the only one who gets irritated by them.

I’ll probably think of more and be all like “Oh crap, I should have put that one in!” But maybe I’ll save them for another post.