I mean like yesterday I was feeling awful and crying at church.
And then we were on the topic of pills, cause I was having panic attack and how one of them wanted to accompany me to the psych next week.
Well, then Angela (kinda like my boss) went, “then why did you overdose on all that in the first place?!”
Somehow that made me really upset like cause I was suicidal and I felt nasty that’s why I took an overdose in attempt to kill myself.
Which made me feel like this is the punishment for me trying to kill myself and she then change her words and said stuff like, “oh, it isn’t your fault”, “your aunt didn’t tried hard enough” or “your feelings are real and blah blah blah”
Cause let’s face it, if I didn’t overdose back then, I would still have the pills, I wouldn’t have been so miserable like how I am right now.
So that’s why even if the other colleague did accompany me and try to convincing my psych to give me back my pills, it wouldn’t work either cause my aunt “tried” and he won’t take my words or believe me or believe anything anymore.
It’s practically over for me, on the pills. No hope on getting it back basically.