Bleach characters in Disneyland

As requested by anon. :)

Bleach characters are in Disneyland! What will that experience be like?

1. As Nodt: Loves the “It’s A Small World” ride

Because it is the scariest ride at the park.

As Nodt: I took Mask on it.

As Nodt: He ruptured his own ear drums to survive.

2. Halibel: Loves “Splash Mountain”

As a desert shark, getting wet is still a novelty for her.

Halibel: Plus, my fracciones and I take truly epic pictures.

Halibel: Here is one where they removed their own arms.

Halibel: We weren’t allowed back after that.

3. Chad: Loves “Big Thunder Ranch”

He likes to pet all of the adorable animals.

Chad: Although the fact that there is a BBQ restaurant attached creeps  me out a bit.

Unohana: But why that is the best part

4. Rukia & Orihime: Make it their mission to get photographs with all of the Disney princesses

Rukia is always quick to mention that Orihime is a princess too.

Orihime: Kuchiki look, it’s your princess, Snow White!

Orihime: Switch into bankai and let’s get a picture!

Rukia: Or maybe no bankai in a children’s park!

Orihime: Or okay that works too! 

5. Yachiru: Spends most of her day “behind the scenes”

Disneyland has its own town hidden behind the park. Yachiru found it.

Yachiru: Hi!

Disney employee: Wait since when was there a door in that wall?

6. Grimmjow: Is thrown out for trying to cut in line

He is not a very patient guy.

Grimmjow: Oh sure. Punch ONE child and suddenly they’re throwing you out.

Zommari: Why didn’t you just create clones of yourself to wait in many lines at once like I did?

Grimmjow: Because I….can’t?

Zommari: Sucks to be you.

7. Ggio: Is *severely* disappointed by the “Jungle Cruise”

He thought there would be more excitement and live, dangerous animals.

Ggio: I’m pretty sure none of those robots have even SEEN a jungle!

8. Komamura: Finds himself being asked to be in many photos

Also he gets asked what Disney movie he’s from a lot.

Komamura: People seem to think I’m cool and also adorable!

Komamura: And in costume, but I’m going with it!

9. Sasakibe: Rides the “Mad Tea Party” ride until he’s ready to pass out

He just can’t resist the teacups.

Sasakibe: Please stop spinning, sir, you’re making me dizzy.

Yamamoto: Yeah…it’s time for a timeout.  

10. Nel: Eats her weight in sugary snacks

Which is difficult to do, when most of what you’re eating is cotton candy.

Nel: Nobody told Nel that clouds are delicious!!

11. Renji & Byakuya: Spend a lot of time on the “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride

Because I don’t want to live in the world where their filler-love for pirates isn’t real.

Byakuya: How much money do you think I would need to donate to get an Admiral Seaweed robot included in this ride?

Renji: So much.


Byakuya: I have so much money.

12. Riruka: Buys too many stuffed animals

And by “too many” I mean “more than she can carry.”

Riruka: You know, I could make it so that these stuffed animals walk on their own.

Ginjo: Riruka no!

13. Ichigo: Finds out he is related to Walt Disney

Ichigo: But I’m Japanese

Disney employee: We were surprised too.

14. Yoruichi: Becomes queen of the feral cats

She heard there were a lot of feral cats in Disneyland. Naturally, she recruited them to her cat army.

Ichigo: Uh….did anyone else just see about fifty cats run by, following a black cat that looked suspiciously like Yoruichi?


Ichigo: No? Just me?

15. Hitsugaya: Gets to go on ALL the rides

No seriously - I checked. He’s tall enough for them all.


"A bird in hand is....."

Author’s choice list. :)

According to the old parable, “a bird in hand is worth two in the bush.” But that’s boring. So here is how various other Bleach characters would finish the phrase: “A bird in hand is….”

Chad: Adorable!

Kenpachi: Boring.

Ulquiorra: Trash.

Soi Fon:
 In my way.

Ukitake: A new friend!

Yoruichi: Clearly unable to sense that I am actually a cat.

Abirama: Clearly expressing a desire to join my bird army!

Ichigo: Kinda disappointing, as a new power.

Keigo: Probably secretly a monster that is going to eat me.

Hitsugaya: Either one of Aizen’s spies or Central-46’s new messenger system. Either way - no thank you.

Kurotsuchi: Tragically unaware that my skin is poison.

Nemu: Lucky that I’m not wearing my drill hand today. 

Kyoraku: A sign that I have, perhaps, been sleeping too long.

Yamamoto: A sign that I need to check my beard for nests. Again.

Rukia: Possibly the soul of a murdered child, so be careful!

Giselle: About to be a zombie bird!

Bazz-B: About to be a ROASTED bird!

Cang Du: Clearly looking for a free ride. What the fuck, bird.

Ikkaku: Clearly the luckiest of all birds!

Yumichika: Clearly a bird attracted to beauty.

Charlotte: Clearly proof that I am in fact a Disney princess!

As Nodt: Very brave, so far as birds go.

Rose: Attracted by my hollow mask, perhaps?

Kira: In danger of being beheaded, to be honest.

Riruka: Probably gonna poop on me, so it had better fly away!

Soul King:really weird thing to wake up to. 

Luppi: Far too few! I can accommodate like ten birds!

Ashido: A friend at last.

Ashido: Whoops there it goes.

Ashido: Never mind I’ll be alone forever.