capacites

Tears

Tears.

It was what he’d reminisced prominently from their encounter. Her brows furrowed and slightly lifted in shock, eyes capacitated with built up sorrow, and mouth agape in utter shock. And to believe—and he did—those words which were the cause of her isolation and exclusion from the world, barricading herself in her apartment like a coffin and nailing the screws in herself as she attempted to erase the action that had just been done…were his words.

She’d simply asked if they could go steady after sixteen months of keeping herself still and admiring him from afar. She’d prepped herself a month prior with charismatic gestures and phrases to her mirror and felt a divergence in her casual shy demeanor, reciting her words anxiously to pose a perfect proposal and thinking he’d accept.

Thinking…he wouldn’t reject her, or do her wrongly.

No, no. She knew him, and he was lovely, amiable, and affectionate. And she reassured herself they were on pleasant ground to question him of such. She smiled too, briskly striding through the streets to stand adjacent to her love before he was to board his flight and perhaps—the last thing she’d wanted to ensue—he’d depart before she could disclose his name.

“Tao,” she’d called out to him, amongst the cluster of admirers he’d been swallowed in.

With her pass grasp tightly in her fingers and she paved through the crowd, the security permitted her to him. Tao hadn’t seemed to attend to her small frame obscured by his broad shoulders and towering height. She tugged the hem of his shirt with her index and thumb.

Tao whisked ‘round to meet her eyes, shades descending gradually upon the bridge of his nose as his eyes peeked from the brim. A curved smile appeared rather quickly.

“Hey,” he’d greeted her.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing here? It’s bad enough we almost get ourselves killed every time with this,” his arm extended to the girls now urged on the gated fence and they screamed as they desperately reached out to him, “Came to join in on the suicide?”

“Well, no…I actually came to uh,” her gaze downcast to her feet when she collided with a guard’s shoe, “um, ask you something.”

“Uh, okay.”

~

The plane was to report in 10 and they meekly lingered for the announcement of its appearance. Tao turned to her and reinforced her statement before. They’d settled themselves from the rest of the boys in a petite café, seated across from one another.

“Ask me something yeah?”

“Yes, well…” and she’d taken the time to stitch a heart onto her sleeve, her own, and express herself thoroughly. She fidgeted with several words, unable to speak some, her palms open and creating a plethora of hand gestures as her story went on.

The curved smile returned to his face and she’d falsely taken it with hope, smiling brightly as she continuously rambled then silenced herself, steady breathing relieved through a content smile as her heart swelled.

“Yeah,” he mockingly laughed, “no.”

It deflated.

“Look…um…just no. We’re big stars and everything. EXO, when you hear the name you just know. And we’re expected to pursue bigger things and not go after the less fortunate unless it’s a charity case. We’re seen with big stars and equally as important people, you’re not my type to be seen around,” Tao paused to sigh with that twisted smile still etched on his lips.

“I understand that you’d like one of us; I mean it was bound to happen. And with me, I’m Tao of course you’d fall for me. I’m an EXO member and a lot of girls like me and the others and so on. They come and go, yada, yada. You know someone like you who came from poverty and we took you in as an assistant and brought you where you are today. I-I saw you and I felt bad, I pitied you so I became you friend. I must have been a bit too friendly because now you think you could be with me and start something, just…no…”

Tao continued, failing to see her smile contort into a quivering frown and her head nodding as she took in his words tears cascading her cheeks in different routes like rivers but meeting at the base of her chin and falling, tainting her.

His gaze met hers and his smile rendered tight-lipped before he spoke once more.

“You didn’t actually think…”

Her stitches were roughly ripped out and tangled at the ends as she quaked. Lovely? No, he wasn’t.

“You and I…”

Amiable? No, he couldn’t.

“Could ever?…”

Affectionate? How?

A dry chuckle was his last laugh, “Sorry.”

It shattered.

She shattered, because of him.

That was 2 years past and she kept her position, ranked to vice assistant to their manager where he’d gaze at her since. Her hair no longer slicked into a neat ponytail, rather descending to her chest. Her attire previously casual and albeit nerdy, was now classy and vibrant. Her knees no longer turned inward to present a pigeon-toed posture and faced forward to correct her footing.

She was beautiful with her glasses off. Her bright eyes gleaming with happiness when she smiled void of any tears. Since that day he’d never seen her cry. She hadn’t even frowned and retained three expressions: Happiness, laughter and calmness.

They’d spoken of course, and she’d given him direct orders, one-on-one on what he needed to improve, obtain or acquire to be successful. Tao loved her voice and would ask her thoughtless questions to simply hear her speak, where she’d reply with a tone laced in annoyance or lingering in bitter sarcasm.

And when they touched, even if a brief brush of the hand or shoulders, Tao’s heart skipped anxiously and he was eager for more.

So why now? Why not two years prior to now?

It was when she hurried her items she messily dropped when leaving the café that a miniscule diary emerged from the clutter of receipts. It was necessary for Tao to utilize a magnifier to read her words. At first it described her life as a waitress to a shitty restaurant owner and the death of a relative in shaky, scribbled handwriting hard to scan.

But the more he read on, the more Tao came to terms of understanding her struggle, her pain, and her cruelty to rise from low blows. The writing became neater and scripted instances of their time together, exhibiting her attentiveness of every detail of her affection towards him and how much she really, truly…loved him. It splayed in her writing as it’d gotten more intricate and thoughtful. She wrote of ways to keep him smiling, aid him through leaving his father and upcoming birthday ideas. He made her better person but now:

She shattered, because of him.

And no matter how many times he rang her door, and called her phone and attempted to talk to her in private, all his efforts to keep her to him failed. But to this day, he hasn’t stopped.

He loves her, just like he loved him.

And now it was his turn to cry.

Hello, my account is now fully functional and I’m back and running. Been gone and back and gone. But I’m truly back this time I promise. Elza, I hope you didn’t give up on me girl. I had this ready and I revised it to make it perfect and I hope you love it. Please request some for me to tend to in my spare time. I was gone trying to fight for my account and I got it back in January but family issues, exams and such got in the way. So I’m really sorry and please, please forgive. 152 followers and still strong.

I love you guys.

Thank You~Julia

P.S. Notice I bolded.

She shattered, because of him.

If you just read the bolded it says: She shattered him.

Which she did in the end, cause what goes around comes back around.

Une explication ?

  La liste des sujets qui se succèdent à travers les “billets” qui illustrent ce Blog n'est pas sans poser quelques questions angoissantes : l'humanité serait-elle devenue complètement folle, et serions-nous en train de nous rapprocher d'une forme ou d'une autre de cette “fin du monde” qui est annoncée par toutes les religions ?

  Tout, autour de nous, n'est que problèmes insolubles, censure de tout ce qui n'est pas dans l'esprit du moment, crises graves, querelles imbéciles, guerres civiles ou étrangères, refus ou rejet de l'autre, perte des repères moraux, tueries sous des prétextes qui n'en sont pas… jusque dans les familles, dans les partis politiques, dans les relations de voisinage et même entre les religions, étymologiquement censées “rapprocher ” les hommes (“religion” vient du latin  religare = réunir).              Notre XXIème siècle devait être’‘religieux ou ne pas être’’, au lieu de quoi une version terrifiante d’un Islam politique et conquérant se veut en guerre contre tout ce qui n'est pas ‘’Lui’’… alors qu’il a déserté le domaine religieux jusqu'à ne plus concevoir que la mort (dans les pires tortures, de préférence) et la destruction comme seules voies de futur pour une humanité recrucifiée, sans espoir pour lui.       C'est en vain que l'on cherche une zone qui soit encore à l’abri de toute violence. La question : “ le monde est-il devenu fou ?’’ prend toute sa signification.

  Mes pensées les moins optimistes reflètent mon angoisse lorsque j’imagine le futur de mes petits enfants… pour lesquels rêvais d’une planète pacifiée, où la sagesse aurait remplacé les réactions primaires. Pourquoi, comment un tel échec ?   Or le supplément littéraire de mon quotidien proposait hier une préface originale dans laquelle Douglas Kennedy confie que ”sa grande préoccupation est d'explorer la façon dont nous nous compliquons l'existence, et l'acharnement avec lequel nous nous enfermons dans des impasses que nous avons nous-mêmes édifiées“.

  Cette ”attirance pour ce qui va à l'encontre de notre nature“, je l'ai rencontrée si souvent que l'un de mes sujets de recherche favoris est : ’'Entre rationnel et raisonnable, quel est le pourcentage de raison (ou de rationalité) qui entre dans chacune des milliers de décisions que nous prenons quotidiennement ?”                     La réponse, que vous connaissez déjà, est : “allant de très peu… à pas du tout” : nos lectures de l'actualité, nos perceptions de notre environnement et de ses variations (bonnes ou mauvaises : chacun a sa réponse !), nos envies et nos aspirations, nos désirs immédiats et nos projections à plus long terme… sont plus que largement influencés par des lectures, des rencontres, des impressions, une mauvaise nuit, une contrariété récente ou de vagues réminiscences dont on a oublié l'origine et les causes : ce que nous croyons être notre bon plaisir ou notre liberté ne sont que la résultante de tout ce qui précède ! Et la raison ? Très peu !

  Mais comme rien n'est jamais gratuit, un lecteur me  fait parvenir à l'instant un extrait d'un site dont j'ignorais l’existence jusqu’à ce matin encore : “SooCurious”.        J’y ai trouvé une étude relativement récente, “Our fragile intellect” publiée fin 2012 dans le magazine Trends in Genetics, ans laquelle le Pr. Gerald Crabtree et des généticiens de l’université Stanford (Californie), émettent l’hypothèse selon laquelle l’Homme aurait atteint son pic intellectuel il y a entre 2 000 et 6 000 ans, à un moment de l'histoire où chaque être humain était soumis aux mécanismes sélectifs bruts de la nature, et où l'adaptation n'avait qu'un sens : survivre ou mourir !

  Il est évident que ce type de pressions a disparu, de nos jours. “Un chasseur-cueilleur qui ne trouvait pas correctement une solution pour sa nourriture ou son abri mourait, et sa progéniture avec lui”, alors qu’ une erreur comparable (mutatis mutandis) faite par un Ministre socialiste dont chaque décision va affecter des millions de pauvres “assujettis” recevra des congratulations publiques de son Président? Il sera promu au prochain remaniement : leur anti-élitisme est létal !            ’’La sélection extrême appartient au passé“, confirme Gerald Crabtree : l’homme moderne n’étant plus dépendant de ces critères de survie, le manque de stimulation et d’exercice ont fait régresser ses performances intellectuelles et physiques.              On peut même parier, ajoute-t-il drôlement, que si un citoyen moyen de l’époque d’Athènes (dans les 1 000 avant notre ère) revenait soudain parmi nous, il figurerait parmi les plus brillants et les plus doués de nos concitoyens et congénères : sa mémoire, son éventail d’idées et sa compréhension des questions importantes serait sans commune mesure avec ce que à quoi nous sommes habitués…

  Les crises qui secouent le monde seraient-elles aussi le résultat d'une diminution de notre intelligence et de la façon dont nous n’utilisons plus nos facultés ?                 Une telle hypothèse de travail a redonné du tonus à tous les opposants habituels : elle n'est pas ’'dans la ligne du Parti” (son nouveau nom ?  le politiquement correct).   Il me revient une phrase d'André Gide : “Dans le bien-être s'étiole toute vertu”. Serions-nous devenus trop gâtés au point de nous détruire ?

H-Cl.

"Shiitake mushrooms as a carbon scaffolding for high performance supercapacitor electrodes !" New potential for energy storage.

“Shiitake mushrooms as a carbon scaffolding for high performance supercapacitor electrodes !”  New potential for energy storage. 

.The resulting carbon is comprised of abundant micro-, mesopores and interconnected macropores that has a specific surface area up to 2988 m2 g1 and pore volume of 1.76 cm3 g1

The far superior performance as compared with those of the commercially most used activated carbon RP20 in both aqueous and non-aqueous electrolyte demonstrates its great potential as highperformance supercapacitor electrode. 

"Hierarchically porous carbon by activation of shiitake mushroom for capacitive energy storage” by  Ping Cheng, Shuangyan Gao, Peiyu Zang, Xiaofan Yang, Yonglong Bai, Hua Xu, Zonghuai Liu, Zhibin Lei * School of Materials Science and Engineering, Shaanxi Normal University, 620 West Chang’an Street, Xi’an, Shaanxi 710119, China ARTICLE INFO Article history: Received 29 January 2015 Accepted 13 May 2015 Available online 22 May 2015 ABSTRACT

 We present a facile yet effective two-step activation method to prepare a hierarchically porous carbon with natural shiitake mushroom as the starting materials. The first step involves the activation of shiitake mushroom with H3PO4, while the second step is to further activate the product with KOH.The resulting carbon is comprised of abundant micro-, mesopores and interconnected macropores that has a specific surface area up to 2988 m2 g1 and pore volume of 1.76 c   m3 g1 . With the unique porous nature, the carbon exhibited a specific capacitance of 306 and 149 F g1 in aqueous and organic electrolyte, respectively. Moreover, this carbon also shows a high capacitance retention of 77% at large current density of 30 A g1 and exhibited an outstanding cycling stability with 95.7% capacitance preservation after 15,000 cycles in 6 M KOH electrolyte. The far superior performance as compared with those of the commercially most used activated carbon RP20 in both aqueous and non-aqueous electrolyte demonstrates its great potential as highperformance supercapacitor electrode. The two-step method developed herein also represents a very attractive approach for scalable production of various functional carbon materials using diverse biomasses as starting materials.“

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