It was what he’d reminisced prominently from their
encounter. Her brows furrowed and slightly lifted in shock, eyes capacitated
with built up sorrow, and mouth agape in utter shock. And to believe—and he did—those
words which were the cause of her isolation and exclusion from the world,
barricading herself in her apartment like a coffin and nailing the screws in
herself as she attempted to erase the action that had just been done…were his words.
She’d simply asked if they could go steady after sixteen
months of keeping herself still and admiring him from afar. She’d prepped herself
a month prior with charismatic gestures and phrases to her mirror and felt a divergence
in her casual shy demeanor, reciting her words anxiously to pose a perfect
proposal and thinking he’d accept.
Thinking…he wouldn’t reject her, or do her wrongly.
No, no. She knew him, and he was lovely, amiable, and affectionate.
And she reassured herself they were on pleasant ground to question him of such.
She smiled too, briskly striding through the streets to stand adjacent to her
love before he was to board his flight and perhaps—the last thing she’d wanted
to ensue—he’d depart before she could disclose his name.
“Tao,” she’d called out to him, amongst the cluster of
admirers he’d been swallowed in.
With her pass grasp tightly in her fingers and she paved
through the crowd, the security permitted her to him. Tao hadn’t seemed to
attend to her small frame obscured by his broad shoulders and towering height.
She tugged the hem of his shirt with her index and thumb.
Tao whisked ‘round to meet her eyes, shades descending gradually
upon the bridge of his nose as his eyes peeked from the brim. A curved smile
appeared rather quickly.
“Hey,” he’d greeted her.
“What are you doing here? It’s bad enough we almost get
ourselves killed every time with this,” his arm extended to the girls now urged
on the gated fence and they screamed as they desperately reached out to him, “Came
to join in on the suicide?”
“Well, no…I actually came to uh,” her gaze downcast to her
feet when she collided with a guard’s shoe, “um, ask you something.”
The plane was to report in 10 and they meekly lingered for
the announcement of its appearance. Tao turned to her and reinforced her statement
before. They’d settled themselves from the rest of the boys in a petite café,
seated across from one another.
“Ask me something yeah?”
“Yes, well…” and she’d taken the time to stitch a heart
onto her sleeve, her own, and express herself thoroughly. She fidgeted with
several words, unable to speak some, her palms open and creating a plethora of
hand gestures as her story went on.
The curved smile returned to his face and she’d falsely
taken it with hope, smiling brightly as she continuously rambled then silenced
herself, steady breathing relieved through a content smile as her heart
“Yeah,” he mockingly laughed, “no.”
“Look…um…just no. We’re big stars and everything. EXO, when
you hear the name you just know. And we’re expected to pursue bigger things and
not go after the less fortunate unless it’s a charity case. We’re seen with big
stars and equally as important people, you’re not my type to be seen around,”
Tao paused to sigh with that twisted smile still etched on his lips.
“I understand that you’d like one of us; I mean it was bound
to happen. And with me, I’m Tao of course you’d fall for me. I’m an EXO
member and a lot of girls like me and the others and so on. They come and go,
yada, yada. You know someone like you who came from poverty and we took you in
as an assistant and brought you where you are today. I-I saw you and I felt
bad, I pitied you so I became you friend. I must have been a bit too friendly
because now you think you could be with me and start something, just…no…”
Tao continued, failing to see her smile contort into a
quivering frown and her head nodding as she took in his words tears cascading
her cheeks in different routes like rivers but meeting at the base of her chin
and falling, tainting her.
His gaze met hers and his smile rendered tight-lipped
before he spoke once more.
“You didn’t actually think…”
Her stitches were roughly ripped out and tangled at the
ends as she quaked. Lovely? No, he wasn’t.
“You and I…”
Amiable? No, he couldn’t.
A dry chuckle was his last laugh, “Sorry.”
She shattered, because
That was 2 years past and she kept her position, ranked to
vice assistant to their manager where he’d gaze at her since. Her hair no
longer slicked into a neat ponytail, rather descending to her chest. Her attire
previously casual and albeit nerdy, was now classy and vibrant. Her knees no longer
turned inward to present a pigeon-toed posture and faced forward to correct her
She was beautiful with her glasses off. Her bright eyes
gleaming with happiness when she smiled void of any tears. Since that day he’d
never seen her cry. She hadn’t even frowned and retained three expressions:
Happiness, laughter and calmness.
They’d spoken of course, and she’d given him direct orders,
one-on-one on what he needed to improve, obtain or acquire to be successful.
Tao loved her voice and would ask her thoughtless questions to simply hear her
speak, where she’d reply with a tone laced in annoyance or lingering in bitter sarcasm.
And when they touched, even if a brief brush of the hand or
shoulders, Tao’s heart skipped anxiously and he was eager for more.
So why now? Why not two years prior to now?
It was when she hurried her items she messily dropped when
leaving the café that a miniscule diary emerged from the clutter of receipts.
It was necessary for Tao to utilize a magnifier to read her words. At first it
described her life as a waitress to a shitty restaurant owner and the death of
a relative in shaky, scribbled handwriting hard to scan.
But the more he read on, the more Tao came to terms of
understanding her struggle, her pain, and her cruelty to rise from low blows.
The writing became neater and scripted instances of their time together,
exhibiting her attentiveness of every detail of her affection towards him and
how much she really, truly…loved him. It splayed in her writing as it’d gotten
more intricate and thoughtful. She wrote of ways to keep him smiling, aid him
through leaving his father and upcoming birthday ideas. He made her better
person but now:
because of him.
And no matter how many times he rang her door, and called
her phone and attempted to talk to her in private, all his efforts to keep her to him failed. But to this day, he hasn’t stopped.
He loves her, just like he loved him.
And now it was his turn to cry.
Hello, my account is now fully functional and I’m back and
running. Been gone and back and gone. But I’m truly back this time I promise.
Elza, I hope you didn’t give up on me girl. I had this ready and I revised it
to make it perfect and I hope you love it. Please request some for me to tend
to in my spare time. I was gone trying to fight for my account and I got it
back in January but family issues, exams and such got in the way. So I’m really sorry and
please, please forgive. 152 followers and still strong.
I love you guys.
P.S. Notice I bolded.
She shattered, because of him.
If you just read the bolded it says: She shattered him.
Which she did in the end, cause what goes around comes back