cant-win

I think I’m gonna need to go to the grocery store tonight. I need some more foods - especially bananas, as I can tell my potassium is getting low. I’ve had so much trouble keeping that stable but it’s been a lot better since over winter. I worry about it dropping again though because it’s just a worse than normal time to put my body through that. 

I am not interested in going to the store or anywhere really tonight, but I guess it *is* a bit better  than going tomorrow afternoon because the stores are sooo packed on the weekends /= bleh cant win

Tears cant win.

Is it a habit that we develop as a toddler to cry when we want something dearly? As a baby we would cry for almost everything from wanting a diaper change to being held and rocked to bed. As we got older and obtain the knowledge of language we realized that there was another form of communication to express our needs and wants. However that doesn’t mean we stop using crying as an expression. As a kid we learn that crying is use when we feel negative or simply by getting injured. Others like myself would probably have cried over the fact that they didn’t have the fastest race car in the neighborhood. Which led to begging and crying to our parents because words weren’t enough to explain why such an item was important to our young self. Just like when they picked us as a baby, our parents would buy us that one toy just because they don’t want to see their child upset. As we grow older, we are faced with the fact that our heart is capable of feelings towards other that aren’t our family. We become aware that another human being can have an impact on us and vice versa. Acknowledging that we no longer cry from an item that is tangible such as a race car but for something non-tangible like another person’s affection. Their love isn’t a natural instinct like a parent’s love nor can it be bought like a race car. To love and want someone deeply but not be able to be  loved in return is when we are placed back into a familiar feeling where words aren’t enough and we turn to the only thing we believed that worked. To yell, beg and cry until we get what our heart desire. Confused why it isn’t working and we eventually wonder how much tears would it take for them to realize they are the one you want and need. Sadly, we come to the conclusion that no amount of tears can get you what you want unless they love you in return. A lesson we were taught indirectly since a child yet fail to realize until a broken heart. 

I WANNA BE A PRETTY GIRL WHO WEARS FLOWY DRESSES AND BOWS AND CUTE SHOES

BUT I ALSO WANNA BE A GUY WITH BUTTON UP SHIRTS AND FACIAL STUBBLE

BUT I ALSO WANT TO BE A PUNK GIRL WITH TEAL HAIR AND CROSS JUMPERS

BUT AT THE SAME TIME I WANT TO BE A GUY WITH BEANIES AND COMBAT BOOTS AND PIERCINGS

8

Truly sorry.

*Black woman wears natural hair*
Black men: “Black girls are so bald headed. Their hair is so nappy and unmanageable. That’s why I stick to white/Latina/Asian women.”
*Black woman wears weave*
Black men: “Why do black girls wear so much weave? Why don’t they just be humble and embrace their roots. That’s why I stick to white/Latina/Asian girls. They don’t need weave.”

8

gif meme » redvsboohoo asked: favorite familial relationship ever, of all time

It’s hard to choose between your head and your heart; because it’s when you choose your head that you’ll have the most regrets. But when you choose your heart you know that maybe it wasn’t the best decision but it made you happy, and at the end of the day, is there anything more important?
—  A Story By Me