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Sheldon: I’m quite aware of the way human usually reproduce, which is messy, unsanitary, and based on living next to you for three years involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity.
Penny: Oh, God.
Sheldon: Yes, exactly. Consequently, if Amy and I choose to bring new life into this world it will be accomplished clinically with fertility experts in a lab with Petri dishes. Which reminds me, you have broad hips and a certain corn-fed vigour. Is your womb available for rental? 

- The Big Bang Theory (4x01 The Robotic Manipulation)

Penny: Okay, you know what, I’m going to come at this in a whole new way. Sheldon, if you try to make a baby with Amy in a Petri dish I’m going to tell your mother on you.
Sheldon: Well, that’s no threat. My mother’s always wanted a grandchild.
Penny: Really? Your deeply religious, born again Christian mother wants a test tube grand baby born out of wedlock? 
Sheldon: Curses. 
Penny: *Groans* If I had thought of that in the first place, I could have saved myself this whole night. 
 

-The Big Bang Theory (4x01 The Robotic Manipulation)

Ellie: Do you remember how many hours we used to spend up here?

Corrie: You mean the tea parties?

Ellie: We were so innocent back then. Now I, I feel like we were innocent right up until yesterday. God, we didn’t believe in Santa Claus or anything like that. No, we believed in other fantasies. 

We believed we were safe. I guess that was the biggest fantasy of them all, right?

Penny: Hey, what’s my share?
Leonard: Twelve bucks
Penny: Okay, can I getcha after Friday when I get paid?
Leonard: Sure
Penny: What am I up to now?
Leonard: Well, okay, uh with the Indian food, the pizza, the Thai food, the tank of gas, the frozen yoghurt and your rent…a little over fourteen hundred dollars.
Raj and Howard: *laughing*
Penny: What now?
Howard: He’s just expressing his admiration that you don’t even have to put out to get free stuff. 

-The Big Bang Theory (4x02 The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification)

Penny: Who’s Amy?
Leonard: His girlfriend.
Sheldon: She’s not my girlfriend.
Penny: How long has this been going on?
Leonard: Four months
Sheldon: She’s not my girlfriend
Penny: Are you telling me that for the last four months, I have been asking you ‘what’s new?’ and you never thought to go with Sheldon has a girlfriend?
Sheldon: She’s not my girlfriend
Penny: How did they meet?

-The Big Bang Theory (4x01 The Robotic Manipulation)

Tish: If men are that easy to out-finesse, they deserve what they get. 
Priestly: Hey, I’m easy. Don’t I deserve it?
Trucker: Well, see Priestly, your problem is that you always go after the hot chicks. You’ve just got raise your expectations. 
Tish: Excuse me
Trucker: Well really good looking women? They’re high maintenance, and without exception completely worthless between the sheets. 
Priestly: Seriously?
Trucker: God’s truth
Mr. Julius Certainly been my experience
Tish: Oh, pfft, you guys are pathetic. 
Trucker: Alright, take Tish for example. Men are so pumped to be with a body like hers that all she’s gotta do is lay back and enjoy the ride. See, that way she’s never going to develop any skills in bed. 
Mr Julius: I second that
Tish: Hey, I work hard.
Trucker: Don’t get me wrong. Attractive women are great to look at, just don’t go home with the prom queen. Give her the crown, she’ll never go down.
Tish: I was the prom queen.
Trucker: Well, I rest my case.
Tish: Alright, that’s it. You and me in the office. I’ll show you how I earned my crown.
Trucker: Women, they are so easy to out-finesse. They deserve what they get.

-Ten Inch Hero (2009)

Penny: I feel very strongly that I’m supposed to tell you something, something important. Are you ready? 
Beckett: I’m ready
Penny: Alexander
Beckett: Alexander?
Penny: Alexander. I don’t know who he is or what he means to you.  
Beckett: I don’t know any Alexander.
Penny: You will. You will meet an Alexander and he will be extremely important to you. At some future date, he may save your life.

Castle: Before I forget, what did Penny say about Alexander?
Beckett: Oh, nothing. Just some silly stuff that didn’t really make any sense. Why?
Castle: Because, my middle name is Alexander. 
Beckett: I thought your middle name was Edgar
Castle: Been perusing the personal section of the Richard Castle website again, have we? No, I changed my middle name to Edgar for Edgar Allen Poe back when I changed my last name to Castle. My given name is Richard Alexander Rodgers. What a coincidence, huh?

-Castle (3x02 He’s Dead, She’s Dead)