In a few months I will be on a plane to Chicago, and then on a bus to the open arms of one of the most important people in my life.


I've never felt so shitty about hurting someone in my entire life..but I mean I'm a shitty person

I hurt everyone…I treat people like shit when really I just don’t know how to process my feelings for them or the situation. I also hating losing friends…I hate being so stupid and such a piece of shit. I wish she would forgive me…and I hope he knows I miss his friendship…but I’m happy they have found love in each other again. I want them to have the best.

Well to start off, 

1. I got myself hurt, I made the dumb mistake of falling for a friend of mines ex, and then going 6 hours away to see them and a whole world of mess happened and it ended up with my heart being stomped on and my feelings being shit on. 

2. I have since lost both my friend and her ex as friends…which destroys me because I care so much about both of them… 

3. I’m failing my classes this semester at school because I can’t concentrate, I can’t grasp the material. 

4. I’m burnt out on life, I feel like I don’t belong here anymore.. Nashville doesn’t feel like home and while I was in Indianapolis I was incredibly happy minus the fighting and stress and drama. 

5. I’ve pushed everyone I care about away in my life to the point I have shit for friends left. I’m a shitty person. 

6. I’m about to have to move out of my house and I have no clue where I will be going yet, or if I can even take my dog who is my entire life with me. 

7. I’m broke.

8. I’m real broke.

9. I’m just sick of becoming attached to people and letting them in and giving them a huge portion of my life and my happiness just to get hurt. 

but I guess this could sound selfish that I’m upset over the smallest shit but to me it’s enough to put me into depression.