but hes still as awkward as ever


one of my best friends just admitted he has feelings for me. of course he’s in a relationship. who on this planet isn’t, besides me?
I *know* and *really like* his girlfriend. they’ve been together for 11 years and although they both admit to me they aren’t happy anymore they are still a couple.
now I’m feeling really resentful towards him and I know I shouldn’t be, after all he was just being honest, but I am. why bother telling me? why not take the high road and put those feelings in a box and stuff them deep deep down inside and show them to no one ever least of all me? aren’t men experts on compartmentalizing? I mean, why make it my problem too? now we can’t hang out and if we do it will be awkward and he will be trying to get me alone… (just a hunch but I think I’m right).
shit. I’m going to miss my friend. I’m also mad at him. where is the self control? does he really want to get with me and risk ruining our friendship? maybe it’s true and I can’t actually have guy friends. I don’t know.
ahhh! it’s all so stupid.
I really don’t think I’m even date-able anyway. I’m in my head too much and all that thinking, thinking, thinking isn’t doing me any favours. I tried to tell him as much but his response was “I’m a Scorpio. I’m always tortured. and I like that about you”.
besides all that, it’s just so fucking selfish I can’t even handle! there’s another person involved here and her feelings matter. I don’t want to be a part of the demise of their relationship or whatever it is that is going on between them. they need to figure all that stuff out. not to say I am even interested in anything other than friendship with him…up until yesterday I didn’t even know he was thinking that way toward me at all. it caught me way off guard.
plus after everything I survived last year the last thing I need in my life is more heartaches and drama.

I kinda miss that guy I broke it off with admittedly a little too hastily last month. he was crazy and intense and weird but making out with him was next level fun, and that’s all I’m really looking for anyway. someone to make out like crazy with.

so, it’s official. I’m going into hiding at some point soon to avoid further drama. off the grid, like. it’s gonna be hard to find someone to make out with off the grid, but oh well. it must be done. maybe I’ll meet some other weirdo who is off the grid for reasons like my own who is easy on the eyes, about 5'9 with shaggy brown hair who likes making out too. what? a girl can dream.
but for now the world is scary and I need to hide in my bed thanks bye.
(I’ll still unload my woes here I’m sure. if I can’t tell you, Tumblr, who else would I tell?)

oh and about the super vague “leaving the film industry” thing…I am planning my exit strategy, so that’s exciting. I have signed on for one more season of my show- they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse, so my new career begins either in January or April 2016.

that’s all I got for now.
night kids.


Okay so all of those people who claim cas is not into guys…

take a look at these lovely gifs:

In the gif above Cas is comforted by the fact that Sam still hugs him despite his past mistakes. He’s also awkward due to the fact that Sam says “and this is the part where you hug back…” 

here we have a very happy Cas hugging Dean sincerely, and looking happier than ever to see him. They hug like it’s something they’ve done a thousand times. *wink*

here’s Cas awkwardly not knowing how to hug Sam….

and finally we have Cas’ uncomfortableness about Charlie hugging him… this would suggest he likes charlie as a person (due to the fact that he smiles when he sees her) but he feels weird hugging her…and side note he doesn’t hug back.

*end rant*

shineyma asked:

Biospecialist, "Mistakes were made," please :)

It was probably wrong to feel relieved, but she did.

Guilt had been slowly eating her alive. It hadn’t been so bad at first. No, she didn’t love him and she didn’t think she ever could – but she made him happy and they were working together and it would be awkward for her to break up with him while they were still on the bus and he was so obviously in love with her. And then…Skye had so clearly been trying to not have feelings for him and Jemma just wanted to give her boyfriend to the other woman.

That was when the guilt came. Because she was still too cowardly and worried about the consequences to break up with him, but she so wanted to just trade places with Skye. (And Skye, clearly, would’ve been happy to trade places with her.)

But now, now!

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My spouse is lovely...and accurate.

So, my husband casually asked me if there was anything new on the Louis-Harry front, because he knows that I have a casual interest (shhhhh don’t tell). 

 I explain that Louis is finally free from his beard but he’s going out every night with a gaggle of mystery girls and even had the world’s most awkward kiss with one. Then I proceed to whip out my phone and find the photo of the kiss and show him.

His response, “Yep, he’s still gay. But seriously Babe, you better hope that nothing ever happens to either of those boys, because when they do internet investigations….you will be a prime suspect for stalking.”

The pizza and beer were long gone. Sam had a warm flush on his cheeks, and his feelings of guilt were almost forgotten under the warm buzz of alcohol as he and Cas made it back to their bedroom for the night.

“So…” Sam didn’t know why he felt awkward. He’d been with Cas since before he lost his grace, but he still felt insecure now that Cas was one hundred percent pure Angel of Thursday and he was still Sam Winchester, always the boy with the demon blood.

“Yes?” Castiel’s eyes were half lidded as he disrobed carefully and slowly, his movements ever so perfectly thought out and smooth.

“Nothing, it’s stupid. I was just… are you going to be staying the night? Now that you got your grace back… I mean you never really slept before.” Sam tried to sound casual as he kicked his jeans off, wobbling slightly as his balance was impaired.

“I enjoy spending my nights with you, Sam. Even when sleep is not needed, I savor the trust that you have in me to be in your presence at your most vulnerable…. to care for you and protect you in your slumber. Watching you sleep is incredibly peaceful most of the time. And when it’s not, I like being the one to soothe your discomfort. As it is… I think I shall be able to sleep along beside you tonight.” Castiel smiled tightly, a pinch of his eyes signalling to Sam that something was wrong.

“Cas? But the only times I’ve known you to sleep were when you were losing your grace, completely without grace, or healing from an injury of some sort.” Sam sat on the bed, completely uncaring of his now naked state as he stared at his angel. “Are you hurt?”

Castiel sat down beside him, leaning into the warmth that Sam gave off. It always calmed him, so different from the icy light that he’d been surrounded by in Heaven.

“Not exactly. I got my wings back. I hadn’t been able to feel them since before… not even with the borrowed- stolen grace. It wasn’t mine, so it gave me no connection to myself.” He closed his eyes, breathing in Sam’s scent mixed with pizza and beer. He would never taste it again, but he could still smell it. 


“They are… not as they were before. I don’t exactly know why. When I saw the wings of other angels, I’d assumed it was the physical act of falling that had torn their wings to shreds. I must reassess… as my own wings also suffer the same ailment.”

Sam stiffened, Gadreel’s visual memories coming to mind. He remembered seeing his tattered wings in the mirror, but Sam could not tell what it felt like or what Gadreel was thinking. He did know that he saw tears in the reflection in the mirror.

“Cas…” Sam whispered. One hand traveled behind Castiel and gently caressed the area where the wings would connect if he could see them. “I’m so sorry.”

“It is not yours to be sorry about.” Castiel reached behind and pulled Sam’s hand forward. He lightly kissed it and smiled up at his young hunter. “I will heal… with time.”

The discussion over for now, Sam and Castiel crawled under the blanket and curled up together. 

As tall as Sam was, Castiel always felt the need to feel like he was guarding him from all evil at night, and so he wrapped his arms around him and kept Sam close to his chest. Sam reveled in the love that surrounded him and he let the rhythm of Castiel’s breath in his hair lull him into peace and sleep.

Beaten & Battered

Sam returns to the bunker after a rough hunt. Gabe rushes to his aid. As he reaches his hand to his head Gabe turns away defeated, realizing he is still too weak from the fall to heal him. Sam grabs Gabe’s arm and pulls him in for a hug. He looks down at Gabe then gestures to a first aid kit. As Sam lifts himself onto the counter Gabe hesitantly grabs the med kit from the kitchen table. The archangel begins to patch him up as a human would. With every painful cringe Gabe’s heart breaks. It kills him to see his Sam in any pain. As he finishes bandaging the last scrape he pushes the hair from Sam’s face. Sam leans down, places his forehead on Gabe’s, and smiles. Gabe closes his eyes, “you gotta be more careful, kiddo” he says with a soft grin.

“The hottest love has the coldest end.”— Socrates 

Yata knew he was being awkward, knew it seemed more like he was avoiding Saru or like he found everyone else way more interesting, but he didn’t know how else to act. It’d been a quite some time since he’d realised that he had feelings for his best friend, his oldest friend and he still hadn’t come to terms with it enough to actually confess.

He’d be fooling himself if he thought he’d ever build up enough confidence to confess to Saru, he sighed. It was pathetic, he thought, loving someone so much that he couldn’t even stand to look at them, loving someone so much that he thought if he even murmured the words to himself he’d freaking explode right there and then.

When Saru called him outside, smile the same as always, thin and sharp, eyes the same as always, narrow and baring down upon him ruefully, Yata thought that enough was enough. He decided, as they stepped out of the bar, that today was the day he’d finally confess the feelings that he kept, swirling around in his gut like the infinite cosmos. He’d say his peace and hear out whatever vile garbage Saru had to say, at that point Yata was pretty sure that Saru spoke 90% vile garbage, and then he’d figure something out from there. Feel his way through it as he did with everything.

It didn’t happen though, that 90% shot up to 100% in less than a minute and Yata’s hopes shattered before his eyes. If he had just gotten his tongue around the slick scolding anger that rose from his chest then maybe he could have found a way around it, maybe he could have brought Saru back to him. It was all that circled his mind for such a long time, but that love that flickered like undying flames turned to white hot hatred when he saw that beautiful face twisted with insincerity.

Saru was tainted and Yata knew that he had to let it go, but he was all flames and ash wishing that his love would rise from the ashes like a phoenix.

so today has been super fun!! bar boy asked me over after work and we played halo and listened to good music and he played the ukulele for me, then we took his doggie rocko out on a walk and walked around the area while he skateboarded and i held the leash. there were such lovely weeping willow trees by the creek!!!! after that we went to my house to get my swim suit and got martini, met turtle and lil a and stephonno WHO WILL HENCEFORTH BE KNOWN AS GORLAMI, swam a bit and stargazed, then got mexican food!! now it’s just turtle and martini and me at bar boy’s house with good music and halo on!!! i love these relaxed sort of days, and bar boy and i talked a ton and i feel like we’re in a really nice place!! i’m v comfy with him and we talk about everything and i don’t feel like i have to hide myself from him anymore. of course i’m not over him, but i feel cool with the way things are. sometimes i’m super sad about how things went down, but we’re really close and it’s okay 👍🏻

When Baekhyun met Chanyeol, he was a lanky and awkward kid. Still, he found the most comfort when Chanyeol intertwined their fingers together.
Chanyeol wasn’t Prince Charming, sure he was tall, but the kid was the president of the ferret club. Still, Baekhyun found it endearing.
Chanyeol was clumsy. If Baekhyun was ever in need of a hand, a knight in shining armor, Chanyeol would probably stumble on his own long limbs. Still, Chanyeol would get to him and hold Baekhyun.
Baekhyun found Chanyeol’s arms the most securing even if they weren’t the buff, strong ones he always read about in stories. He found Chanyeol’s voice the most addicting, his actions the most captivating. Everything Chanyeol had to offer Baekhyun loved even though he knew they were far from what the romance stories said. Chanyeol wasn’t perfect but Baekhyun loved that.


Chizuru looked down, a bit surprised at the gentle thump she felt on her lap. Usually her instinct would be to move away but somehow, she didn’t feel the inclination to do any such move.
Color gathered on the tops of her cheeks and she looked away a bit. Feeling a bit awkward, she placed her hands on her sides and cleared her throat. Ever since she decided to go and watch over him while he was recuperating, she felt that things have been slowly changing. He is still the snarky, sly captain she knew. However,  something indescribable also tells him that things have been slowly shifting.
Like she is getting to understand him better.
That doesn’t mean she isn’t embarrassed though.  

“Lay still.” Scolding her though he didn’t have the right to, Souji spoke up as she shifted in discomfort. Afterwards, his own, careful movement with his still healing wounds in mine followed along with a long sigh. He was right. She was much better than any pillow he had…–was that wrong to say? For a bit, he didn’t seem to care as bagged eyes shut themselves and his lips parted in comfort. 

The point of this action had been to embarrass her…he mentally “reassured” himself. Sure, he had his other thoughts that his aching shoulder and chest presumably pressed into his skull, but what he had been searching for was her stuttering blush and reaction, right? Perhaps it was because he was so worn after an attempted walk to get his body active again. But, just maybe, there was a bit more to it than that? He wanted to see if she would allow him there as tempting as her hap seemed in comparison to his lumpy futon.

Who was he kidding. That was the point. 

He didn’t understand his mannerisms lately. They were laced with excuses for the other intentions hidden behind them. He was fully aware of his actions, yet they grew more personal and bold the longer they spent time with one another. The captain wasn’t sure if it was for the better or worse. He decided he should know better while he remained in his spot

“If Chizuru-chan moves, she’ll knock my shoulder and that wouldn’t be very nice.” He was giving as a cruel incentive for him to stay, his shoulder hesitantly falling to relax against the pull of his bandages. “She at least owes me a nap on her lap after so much walking…does she?” 

anonymous asked:

So Jamie King, Taylor's personal spokesperson, is going to be on E! News tonight to talk about Taylor and her new boyfriend. They're really trying to sell this, aren't they? All Ed could come up with is that C.H. is nice, really, really, really, nice. Ed: "Did I say he was nice?" Maybe King will do a bit better job sellin this...

It’s nothing. She won’t say anything.

it’s just an entertainment show overselling one awkward question tied to a big name celeb in order to draw in viewers tonight.

Entertainment shows are unwatchable…..the whole show is nothing but teases….and it’s all designed for the shortest attention spans possible….that’s why music is always playing in the background.

I still think the Access Hollywood-inspired sketch with Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader was the best sketch Taylor has ever been a part of.


azaleecalypso asked:


The ship is my: part of my beloved gay birds

I consider this ship’s feelings: Mutual | Mixed | Strange | Awkward | Platonic | Sibling-like | One-sided | They don’t really like each other | naesala still cares about reyson a lot but reyson doesn’t know how to feel about naesala because of that whole selling him thing

I’d consider the relationship: Healthy | Awkward | Abusive | Doesn’t work properly | They’d never get together | i think eventually reyson might forgive naesala but if they ever got together before that happened then it’d be pretty fucked up bc naesala is naesala and reyson would just always remember “he sold me he sold me”

Children: No | Yes | They’d think about it | idk

General Opinion: i think naesala/reyson by themselves is good but can be better by the inclusion of tibarn - he helps balance the relationship out as a whole like, just the two of them… would be pretty volatile

i tried, i did bye

You stand outside the café and wonder whether it’s still acceptable for you to be a patron, if it’s okay that you show your face to its owner and sometimes waiters. Chewing on the skin of your bottom lip you shake your head and turn on your heel, running your fingers through your hair and sighing to yourself. Deep down you know you needn’t be so cautious, it was a mutual breakup, but you still feel so awkward seeing them, seeing him. Friends and family have told you to stop being silly and to just keep going to the café because you enjoyed it long before you ever dated him. Stopping in front of the park you felt your chest tighten and your teeth bite down too hard on your lip.

Tadashi is there and you can’t stop the wetness from forming in your eyes because it was mutual and it’s okay that he’s dating again, you ought to be, it’s been months. But it stings and you’re not breathing right anymore so you hurry away and stop in front of the university, rushing down the halls towards the library. You’re full on crying when you sit down on the dusty couch, doing little to quiet the gentle noises that are escaping your mouth.

Honey Lemon watches from her position at one of the tables near the couch you reside on, a pitiful look gracing her face as she whispers, “It’s okay, you know,” making you jump slightly, a soft look of confusion on your face when you ask, “What?”

“To miss him. It’s been a year,” Honey murmurs softly, moving to sit next to you, “He’s not so gloomy and well, I can’t say the same for you,” She says moving the hair from your face. “But, he misses you too.” Honey says kissing your cheek and leaving the library, and you let her.

You look at the ceiling for a moment before you pick up your phone and send a text message to him.

To: Dashi
10:38 AM
I miss you, can we get coffee somewhere and talk?

From: Dashi
 10:45 AM
Yeah, that sounds nice.

JacksonXyou - Part 2

This is a continuation to a GOT7xYOU scenario. Read part one HERE.

uniqlybiased , you’ve been patient. Sorry I’ve put this off for so long. I’ve been so uninspired & to be honest I still am. Many apologies to you for having to wait for a fic like this. <3 

Jackson sat across from you at the table and ate his food quietly. This was the calmest you had ever seen him. Not one joke, not one sentence out of line.

He was calm.

And it was scaring you.

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