bullys

Let me tell you about the first time I realized I was fat
In first grade someone brought in a scale and everyone else weighed about 45 lbs and I weighed 71
And I went to the bathroom and cried
Let me tell you about the first time someone else told me I was fat
We were in 3rd grade and I got on the bus and he started chanting at me
Let me tell you about the first time I asked to wear make up because I wasn’t pretty enough
I was in fourth grade and it was the first day of school. I wanted to prove I could be pretty too.
My mother said no and that was that
Let me tell you about the time I tried to drown myself.
It was the summer before 5th grade and I felt empty alone in the pool. My mother came out and pulled me out of the water.
Let me tell you about the first time I threw up my food.
It was 6th grade and we were talking about food in science. One girl asked how people got fat and another asked me if that offended me. I said, no not until you said that. And went to the bathroom to throw up everything I ate that day.
Let me tell you about the first time I cut myself.
It was summer before 7th grade and my friends boyfriend told me I was too ugly for even a mother to love
Let me tell you about the time my friend made me talk to the school counselor.
it was 8th grade.She saw the lines on my wrist and we cried together. The counselor called my mother who simply said “knock it off”
Let me tell you about the time I tried to swallow a bottle of pills.
It was freshman year. The same boy who had dated my friend in 7th grade had come up with a game to see how fast he could get me to cry. And he played it every day.
I swallowed 5 pills before my little sister came in the room.
Don’t you dare tell me I am too young to be depressed. Depression can start so early in life and haunt you forever.
Let me tell you about the girl who survived.
She’s 18 now.
And happy.