Crappy Situations, Happy Endings

Summary: Dan Howell comes from a strict family and lives with a homphobic dad. Phil Lester is the school’s ‘bad boy’ and also happens to be Dan’s crush. Things go horribly wrong at a Christmas party at the Howell’s house when Dan and Phil are spotted kissing. Crappy situations turn into happy endings.

Genre: AU, Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 7,088 holy smokes

Trigger Warnings: Abuse

A/N: I couldn’t think of a title for this omg

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Let me tell you about the first time I realized I was fat
In first grade someone brought in a scale and everyone else weighed about 45 lbs and I weighed 71
And I went to the bathroom and cried
Let me tell you about the first time someone else told me I was fat
We were in 3rd grade and I got on the bus and he started chanting at me
Let me tell you about the first time I asked to wear make up because I wasn’t pretty enough
I was in fourth grade and it was the first day of school. I wanted to prove I could be pretty too.
My mother said no and that was that
Let me tell you about the time I tried to drown myself.
It was the summer before 5th grade and I felt empty alone in the pool. My mother came out and pulled me out of the water.
Let me tell you about the first time I threw up my food.
It was 6th grade and we were talking about food in science. One girl asked how people got fat and another asked me if that offended me. I said, no not until you said that. And went to the bathroom to throw up everything I ate that day.
Let me tell you about the first time I cut myself.
It was summer before 7th grade and my friends boyfriend told me I was too ugly for even a mother to love
Let me tell you about the time my friend made me talk to the school counselor.
it was 8th grade.She saw the lines on my wrist and we cried together. The counselor called my mother who simply said “knock it off”
Let me tell you about the time I tried to swallow a bottle of pills.
It was freshman year. The same boy who had dated my friend in 7th grade had come up with a game to see how fast he could get me to cry. And he played it every day.
I swallowed 5 pills before my little sister came in the room.
Don’t you dare tell me I am too young to be depressed. Depression can start so early in life and haunt you forever.
Let me tell you about the girl who survived.
She’s 18 now.
And happy.
Mamá, estoy frustrado, me cuesta hacer amigos y en la escuela todos dicen que soy raro. Y no sé si hago bien en contarlo y siento vergüenza, pero exploto y el colegio no le da mucha importancia. Son las doce, y preferiría no haber venido porque sé que a la salida me van a pegar de a cinco, y otro día más escondiendo lastimaduras. Me pregunto si es normal que las cosas sean tan duras. No hay respuestas, no hay quien conteste, porque mi vieja solamente quiere que estudie y que no moleste. Papá escúchame y por favor dame un consejo, papá escúchame necesito tu consejo. Siento que exploto y que el alma me arme, te juro que estoy mal y pienso en escaparme. Es la impotencia de ser uno contra todos, ya no importa a quien le cuente, me ignoran de todos modos. Siento que quiero escapar. Estoy frustrado, y tiene la culpa el que se abusa y el que mira hacia otro lado. Muchas gracias por alimentar con bronca y desamor, a este cuerpo de adolescente lleno de rencor. Sí queres hacer algo extendeme tu mano, escucha mi grito y ponete en la piel de este ser humano. Necesito que sientas como siento, y enterate que: SI VOS NO HACES NADA TAMBIÉN SOS PARTE. Es el momento de la historia en el que dejo el miedo a un lado y les pido que hagan memoria. Si fuiste parte de esto alguna vez, frenalo, no quiero que otros vivan lo que estoy viviendo a diario. Te cambio un día de tu vida por el mio, a ver si le deseas lo que yo vivo a algún amigo, a ver si tu egoísmo no te deja ver el daño. Yo no voy a permitirte que me robes otro año! Tampoco quiero recurrir a lo más obvio, y pegarte en este caso sería replicar tu odio. Mastico rabia y me niego a aplaudir tu orgullo, que entre golpes y forreadas camufla de efectos tuyos. Mirenme, escuchenme, estoy hablándoles. Y no me juzguen, yo también soy como ustedes. En serio, sólo quiero que piensen un segundo y si es posible que mañana otros puedan cambiar su rumbo.
10

NOT EVERY DISABLED PERSON HAS COME TO TERMS WITH THE WORD ‘CRIPPLE’.

SOME OF US PROBABLY NEVER WILL.

PLEASE STOP USING IT.
THANKYOU.


I’ve been coming to terms with a lot of things since my hip replacement, but I don’t think I can ever come to terms with that word. It brings back too many bad memories, even used in conversations which are nothing to do with disability - The economy will be crippled, Man U have been crippled in the premier league, etc…

I’m not asking people to understand it, but please, just recognise that sometimes certain words will trigger people’s emotions and memories - and using in the same context makes it 100x worse.

I had a shit time at school. All the above taunts were used, and worse. I’d get pushed and shoved, I even got called a drugs addict once when I had to take my medication (which I’d usually do in the school toilets, so I could close the door from questions and accusations, which didn’t help things). When I told the school what was happening, the only thing they offered to do was bring my bullies in (there were so many…) and ‘talk it through’, whereas one boy who’d shouted a racist slur at another kid was suspended. If I’d ‘talked it through’, it would have made things worse, as I’d seen with a few other kids. How is one form of verbal abuse a suspendable offence, but another form isn’t? I never understood that. (NB; I think that kid was rightly suspended, but I think the worst of my bullies should have been suspended also)

This was all stuff that happened over 15 years ago, and it still sticks with me. So please, stop being dicks to each other and just accept your differences. It’s not that difficult…