Please fire me. I’m a server that normally works 39.8 hours every week (we are not allowed OT because that’s too expensive!) This week I’m on my honeymoon, three states away and my GM just sent an email to me and 6 others complaining about how we aren’t team players for picking up shifts from a server that walked out last night.

brunch brunch brunch brunch brunch brunch brunch brunch

GUEST: Can you give me a couple of suggestions for a brunch place within walking distance?
CONCIERGE: Absolutely. This is a list of restaurants in walking distance and these (circles 4) offer brunch.
GUEST: No, no. Some places actually serve brunch.
CONCIERGE: Right. The ones I circled offer brunch.
(Guest’s husband walks up.)
GUEST’S HUSBAND: What’s this?
GUEST: Restaurants.
GUEST’S HUSBAND: But we want brunch.
CONCIERGE: The ones I circled offer brunch.
GUEST: Which do you like for brunch?
CONCIERGE: For brunch I go to [name redacted.]
GUEST: Are they actually a brunch place or just serve brunch?
GUEST’S HUSBAND: Brunch brunch brunch brunchy brunch?
GUEST: Brunch brunch brunch brunch brunch?
(Concierge envisions guest turning into a extra large bloody mary and her husband into huevo rancheros. He is happy and surrounded by friends.)

Kale Baked Beans & Toast

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I feel like I can barely call this a recipe since it’s three ingredients, but it’s perfect a perfect brunch/lunch/dinner to have on a chilly fall day.

Ingredients:

  • 1 can baked beans (double check the ingredients to make sure animal fats were not used)
  • 2 cups curly kale, stemmed and torn into pieces
  • 2 pieces of whole wheat bread
  • Earth Balance buttery spread (optional)

Steps:

  1. Add the baked beans and kale to a pot and cook over medium heat.
  2. While the beans are cooking, toast your bread.
  3. Stir the beans and kale occasionally, until the beans are heated through and the kale begins to wilt.
  4. Serve with toast!

Note: Adding veggie sausage, black tea and roasted potatoes or hash browns makes this the perfect English brunch.

The Internet generation didn’t become the “brunch generation” by accident. They were taught about the hipness of brunch from those who came before them, like Shaftel. And sure, maybe he’s right in that they’ve taken it a little too far. But still, whether you hate brunch, or love it, it’s not worth condemning everyone under 30 over. Every generation looks like misbehaving whippersnappers to the generation above it. Maybe by the time they’re Shaftel’s age, millennials will hate brunch, too.
—  Chris Osterndorf, "In defense of brunch"
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