Doughnuts & Sliders Together but not Forever

I first heard of doughnut sliders on the Oregon trail.  But by the time I got around to tracking them down to the Original Dinerant in Portland they were already gone.  All they had left was this picture on their website.  When nature calls, answer; don’t hesitate.

Doughnuts & Sliders Together but not Forever was originally published on MeatThePeople

Portland Meatcapades

Once I found out about these, I have been trying to figure out a way to work them into my family vacation.  A DOUGHNUT SLIDER from the Orignal Dinerant in Portland, OR.  How is that not a colossally great idea?  Who ever took this picture, which I got from their Facebook page, is a genius.

The day actually started with a stop at Otto’s Sausage Kitchen.  The place is eighty years young and has the recipes to prove it.  They are still grilling the old-fashion way.  Check it out.


 Now for the sauce:

I had the hot mustard.  It was the perfect complement to the smoked pork sausage.  The only thing missing was something to wash it down, but that was easily solved.

On the recommendation of the tap-master I had a local micro-brew, the Vaporizer.  And yes, it does appear to take its name from that which immediately comes to mind.  If you got on their site, Double Mountain Brewery and Tap Room, the logo for the beer seems to suggest as much.   But even better it was quite a delicious dry-hopped pale ale.

After all that you would think the denouement would be huge.  But I was so hungry after screwing around with all these other pictures that I forgot to take one of my sweet dog with all the fixins.  Suffice to say it was diggity, and then some.  Off to the zoo.

But before all that we went to see the falls in the Columbia River Gorge, an awesome spectacle.  It kinda makes you wonder about where all that water comes from and where it goes.  That’s were we built up our appetite for the sausages.  But about halfway to the top of the falls the boy had it and let us know by screaming at the top of his lungs that he wasn’t going any further.  I would have carried him, but the top was closed so we went back down.  Although, not before a 1/2 hr lecture about his behavior that almost put him to sleep.

We nerver actually made it to the zoo.  In the Japanese Gardens we were too pre-occupied with watching out for Ninjas.  My wife thought that was funny after her bloody at breakfast and a beer at Ottos - remember we’re on vacation.  The others were not so amused.  My girl almost lost an eye from rolling it so hard, and the boy called me a liar.  By that time I was ready for the next stop at the Original Dinerant.  But before that somehow we found our wasy to the children’s museum that just happened to be open on Thursdays until 8pm.  Ever other day of the week it closed at 5.  The exact time it happened to be when we got there.  We didn’t leave until it closed. 


I’m a fan of brisket and onion rings so the menu choice wasn’t particular difficult that night.  Kale, maybe not so much.  I didn’t even try it.  I might have, but the caesar salad starter came in a bowl the size you could stick your whole head into.  No need for more vegetables after that.




Original Article

This entire apartment smells like angry armpits. Angrier and angrier as the elevator rose to the eleventh, then full on rage on my trifolium-shaped floor. Solice, as I return home to my cat who has an obsession with kneading armpits. Today’s her lucky day.

Ms. Cashier, that wasn’t coriander. Please get your herbs right. I didn’t spend five minutes deciding between parsley and curly parsley to have this written on my receipt.

My office chair is now perfectly adjusted to my body. Which is great, as I pile the clothes that aren’t so perfectly adjusted to my body back onto it. I clamber back into this friend of mine, back and joints contorting unergonomically into my absolutely ergonomic chair. My printer is such a hassle.

Re: Semi-Annual Employee Review

Hamilton, Ontario
Yowl if you need me, as always

January 2013


After the Performance Review conducted on January 8, 2013, it has been concluded that the quality of your work as the role of Cat Artist does not meet the expectations as outlined on your date of hire, June 14, 2012

Section A: Details of Infractions.

  • Deadlines were not met.
  • Quality of work is lacking. Please refer to attachments.
  • Inability to follow through with the elimination of insects and spiders.
  • Befriending pigeons despite contractual obligation to prevent their trespassing.


Figure 1. Art Piece 1. Duration: Approx. 3 months


Figure 2. Art Piece 2. Duration: Approx. 3 months


Figure 3. Art Piece 3. Duration: Approx. 2 months. Creativity lacking.


Figure 4. Image of artist working.

Section B: Minor infractions that were not contractually agreed to, but have been disruptive to the working environment.

  • Failure to yawn with eyes closed.
  • Public cleaning of inappropriate bodily areas.
  • Inability to maintain distance between tail and other individuals’ foods.
  • Lack of respect for company property (not limited to: urination on employers’ personal items, chewing of wire to brand new laptop, disposing of facial pheromones on surfaces, chewing of metal and tape, breaking and entering into confidential cupboards).
  • No formal way of saying it: sleeping all day, yowling all night.

Section C: Strengths of the Employee

As a result, the following services have been immediately revoked until improved behaviour is evidenced through a probation period of 4 months.

Section D: Temporarily Revoked Benefits

  • All health benefits, all vacation days. Current medication will be covered until prescribed completion date.
  • Grooming.
  • Free breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks.
  • Cuddling will only occur when the employer sees fit; requests will not be adhered to.

Section E: Extra Notes

  • Rent, hydro, electricity will be covered such that employee has space to potentially improve.
  • The employee shall pay twenty-six (26) dollars in fees for a replacement laptop adapter, at acompounding interest rate of 0.5% per month.

If the employee, Briskit, fails to meet the requirements as set out on June 14, 2012 by the end of a probationary period of 4 months (mid-April 2013), all benefits as listed in Section D will be permanently revoked, and rent will be charged at $10/month.


Trick 1, Day 1: Twirl

Since Briskit seems to now refuse getting off her bum while I wave a treat in her face, I have resorted to gently lifting her from underneath to force her to stand. By the end of it, when my fingers brush her tummy, she knew to stand.

Now standing, Briskit refuses to move anything beyond her neck. So I have started gently nudging her head with my treat hand, and her rump with my elbow to slowly make her walk in a circle.

After doing that twice, I figured that was enough for today.

(Puh, I wish my workdays were 5 minutes long. Spoiled returd.)

Trick 1, Day 2: Twirl


She has absolutely, completely forgotten everything. It took forever to get her off her rump to take a few tentative steps, and by then she was a frustrated kitty. 

Also maybe because she had been generously sprayed with water just a couple minutes prior, after having been too feisty (I’ll be sure to try again later tonight).

I let her eat the treat after she finally completes a circle laboriously, and I pet her on the back. (Wow, is she ever soaked from my spraying.) I sorta shake my hand in a feeble attempt to dry it.

I take out another treat, and she swipes at my hand with her paw. Alright, day over. Disappoint us all, why don’t you.

To apologize for my cat’s returded behaviour, here’s a photo of the little cat hairs I stuck on her head a few moments before she bit my boyfriend - which, led to the spraying.

Trick 1, Day 1: Twirl

I don’t think names through very well (except for Briskit. I spent possibly a week or two on brooding on that). So, excited upon the notion of having a cat in a bag full of tricks, I decide her first trick is to walk/run in a quick circle, and decided to label it with the command “Twirl”. She does it often enough while we play.

So I hold a treat in hand, try to lead her in a circle. Her first attempt starts off with her extremely confused. She’s used to me tossing it really far away so she could chase it.

Second attempt, I do it more slowly, let her sniff it, graaaadually lead her around in a very sloppy circle, while I excitedly repeat “Twirl! Twirl! Twirl!” I give her lots of love, let her eat the treat. I try one more time, her circle is more dignified. Lots of love, treat eaten.

I take out the oral care treats, I like to end treat time with what I hope really /does/ clean her teeth. I lead her in a quick circle - it’s back to sloppy, and her attention is slightly scattered - then give her lots of pets and the treat.

I decide that’s enough for today. Tonight I shall chant “Twirl! Twirl! Twirl!” religiously while I play with her.

Name Recognition?

From indirect suggestion by the cat IQ test, I tried to see if Briskit knew her name.

We are sitting on my boyfriend’s couch. I am curled up around a bowl of cheesies on one end, juggling the complicated task of being a pig and bookworm. Briskit is on the other end of the couch, sprawled, sleeping.

"Briskit?" She whips her head around to look at me. Oh, cool! She looks away, ready to settle back into her nap.

"Isis?" She whips her head around to look at me, eyes prying. Prying for what, sweetie? She rests her head back down.

"…..Cheetos?" She whips her head around to look at me. Damn, I thought we were onto something here, returd. Returd is a pet name I have given her during our frequent play-arguments.

Throughout the evening, I try to say random words from time to time, see if she responds. Sometimes it works, she only responds to ‘Briskit’. And sometimes, like just now, I tried ‘computer’ and she still purred.

Oh Briskit.

I love my cat.

I love her old-man grumblings, her sobs when we’re a minute late with food, her random neediness that spurs her to putting her two paws on my chair and to nudge me with her head.

I love that she is very intelligent, but her mischievous nature soon sends her running under the couch. You can always tell she knows she’s doing something wrong.

I love that she is soft. Too, too soft. She hasn’t killed anything in my house yet. She’s smothered them with her soft face and her soft paws, but they only died because I got tired of waiting for her. When she is upset, she squishes herself into this soft, soft bundle of frowns. It makes me so happy.

I love her with all my heart, and these past one and a half years have just been so delightful with her. She doesn’t belong in anyone else’s home. No one’s home is as perfect for her as mine is, and she is the one that makes my home perfect. We are equally as clingy, and equally as cuddly. 

But the time is coming that we have to say goodbye. I will try really hard over these next few months to find some way to keep her, this fat cat of mine. She is mine. She was made for me. Except for some reason, despite treating her with as much love as I never knew I had, God feels that we should not remain together any longer.

My cat, I love you.