In one bit I touch on briefly working in a strip club. Its a pretty quick joke. A few weeks ago, a guy came up to me after my set, handed me a WAD OF SINGLES, said “I love strippers,” and walked away. 

It felt so wrong to spend but also I kind of earned the drink I bought with the money after that whole ordeal.

 -  @AlexRevolution

{happy sunday}

Hello to all of you on this beautiful Sunday evening,
Something I have been mentally working on is a list of everything that I have learned my first year away at college. For those of you who don’t know, I’m attending the community college up in Flagstaff and I was able to stay on the Northern Arizona University campus and I had the option of being part-time at NAU. I should be finishing up my time at CCC and becoming a full-time NAU student in the Spring which I am totally stoked for! While up in Flagstaff, I met some incredible people that have changed my life, I have found some great music, discovered a love for yoga and of course totally began to find myself. However, I couldn’t have done all of that without making a few (hundred) mistakes along the way. Here is the collection of everything I (almost) got away with believing and learned up in Flagstaff.

It is totally okay to not meet your future bridesmaids right away in college.
           
When I went away for school, I expected to meet people just like me. I expected to meet the people I would one day bring to Kleinfeld’s. I would meet the ones I talk about on my own episode of Say Yes to the Dress episode. “Today, I have ____ who I met in college and we have been best friends ever since!” HA! Nope. That didn’t happen and for the friends that I did make that would come close to that I didn’t meet until mid-second semester. They are wonderful people and the best thing about them is that they are perfectly content knowing there are two other lovely women who are in line ahead of them. One day, maybe I’ll be able to add two more Tiffany Blue dress wearing, red daisy holding ladies to the bridal party but as of right now, I’m good with who I’ve got.

You’ve got a checklist for your partner don’t you? That’s so great that you think you know what they need to have. Throw that away. Now.

           A joke my mom, sister and I had (that honestly wasn’t a joke at all) was that while I was packing for school, there was a sexy, Christian lumberjack waiting for me and he was currently cutting down a tree to carve my name into with a heart around it. Within my first month of moving to flagstaff, I found probably three of those. All of which, were jerks, tried to take my clothes off (buy pepper spray now if you don’t have it) or needed to get back to high school. My checklist had a list and right at the top? Needs to be a Christian, preferably Lutheran. I didn’t meet any cute Lutheran guys in college but I met a handful of churchy guys who played guitar in the praise bands, watched televangelists with their moms every Sunday morning and believed that I was “God’s match”. One of those guys was texting a good friend of mine some pretty not-so-Christian pictures and the other two yet again tried to get in my pants, the rest of them were just fools who I just was not interested in. However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that light will make you happier then you’ve ever been and make you feel invincible. I learned that you can’t really have a checklist when searching for a significant other because you really shouldn’t have to search for your partner. The person you should be with at this moment shouldn’t even have a check on your list, they should be the person who makes you throw that list away. I could go on and on about how my person taught me this but this will turn into an episode of Awkward too quickly. Everything I thought was important on my list was so small in comparison to what they have done for me. I’ll end this portion with this; don’t go searching, enjoy the people around you, take care of yourself, love unconditionally, spend your time with those who make you wholesome and make the leap.  (Although, keep respectful, handsome, warm-hearted, thoughtful, supportive and hilarious on your list because those guys are the ones you should pray for.)

You don’t need Tinder. Just don’t do it. If you do it, be smart about it. I beg of you, please.
           
You’ve heard of it; the horror stories, the doctor’s visits, the dangers, the success stories (LOL). I got one of those Tinder-like apps the summer before I left for Flagstaff and all it did for me was put me in awkward situations (thank you to all who saved me in those situations). When you’re alone in your dorm-room and you just want to feel good about yourself, Tinder may sound like a good time but the truth is, an hour on Tinder will get you a match with the guy downstairs, the guy upstairs, one down the hall, the manager at Target, the one in front of you at Starbucks, one in your psych class and you’ll probably even get matched with a TA. It is awkward, embarrassing and super foolish. I wrote my final thesis on Tinder for a class and it was crazy. I actually matched with a family member’s fiancé which was beyond weird. I also was starting to believe that STI’s weren’t real since I heard of nobody ever actually getting them… That is until one of my friends did get one. My advice here is know that your value is not on how many matches you’ve got, get tested regularly, remember that you should not allow for a free app to determine what you do with your body and always give at least two people the information on where you’re meeting your “match”.  It’s becoming our culture so it isn’t weird to say “Aye meeting Orlando Bloom at the movies and then if it isn’t weird we are going hang out at the dorm. Stand by for address and updates. Code word is “potatoes” if something is weird, call me and tell me you need math help”. I promise you that I’ve used that before.

Don’t search for a best friend in your roommate because that isn’t what is important.

           My roommate and I were pretty different in a lot of ways and in no way were we best friends but I couldn’t really imagine with living with anyone else but her. You’re going to hear a shit-ton of roommate horror stories about stealing, bringing boys/girls home, food- napping and all of that. If you want to avoid that then you need to be specific about what you’re looking for in the beginning of your roommate search. My roomie and I probably got on each other’s nerves on eight thousand different occasions but in the end we had pretty good ground rules and didn’t actually fight about anything. If you don’t want your roommate eating your food, tell her that before you throw it in the fridge or tell her at the beginning of the year or before you sign up to spend nine months with them. One time I used my roommate’s milk to make pancakes and I just went and bought her some more when I was at the store. She’s done stuff that like for me so I wasn’t really angry that she used my stuff. You kind of need to find someone with your same level of maturity and understanding. Again, she and I never really fought because nothing we really never got annoyed about something worth fighting about. My side of the room was always, always, always chaos. I’m sure there were days when she wanted to light it on fire but she didn’t because that is just not worth getting into a huge fight about. Keeping alcohol in the room is also something you and your roommate should discuss right away. I was pretty open that I enjoyed beer and if she had an issue with it, I wouldn’t bring it in the room. So if you’re me in the situation, be open and if you’re my roommate then speak up. Overall, you’re both going to be living in a room the size of your current bathroom paying the same overpriced rent for nine months. Be cautious, understanding, open and conscious. Just don’t make a fuss out of the little things and understand you’re paying for a roommate not a best friend so don’t get peeved if they don’t become your best friend. It’s not a big deal, grow up and get over it.

Don’t think twice before buying yourself something at Target.

           One of my best friends went away to school in Utah and we both share some similar emotions in our transition to college. We both agreed that it’s important to buy yourself something small, tasty or cute on your weekly/bi-weekly trip to Target as long as you’re not coming home with a new ensemble every week. People have a really tough time doing things for themselves and for us this was kind of our thing. I know for her, it was reduced-fat Oreos. For me, it was always the clearance shoes that went down to 8 bucks. Those were golden. If it wasn’t that, it was probably a new lip-balm, face mask or a book from bookman’s. This sounds strange now but when you’re putting every dollar you’ve worked for towards the necessities that you can’t even enjoy, that binge-watching pack of Oreos will make you feel complete again.

Keep searching for something to keep you busy and don’t stop until it has become a part of you.

           *GRANOLA ALERT* After I got my ACL reconstructed, my nurse told me in the kindest way possible that I was crazy and needed to go to yoga. When I moved to Flagstaff, I was excited to work on that. Building strength in my legs again was a must. I kinda of searched for a bunch of things to keep myself busy overall and in the end, I always came back to the yoga studio at NAU. It was just a nice way to spend an hour or so a day. My (personal) intentions for my practices always include a prayer and dedication to someone in my life and I spend the entire practice in my own head. That sounds so weird, I know but I’m able to concentrate on myself and sort of look at everything on my mental shelf and clean it out. I’ve become pretty passionate about it and I’ve become addicted to so many meditations. I recommend trying it out if you haven’t. It’s perfectly acceptable to go by yourself because this is kind of a solo act. Everyone else at yoga is most likely by themselves and are there to focus on themselves, not you. It’s a totally AWESOME, nonjudgmental zone filled with powerful breathing techniques and overall good vibes. If you do try it out, don’t give up after day one. Go at least three times then make your decision. If you fall in love with it and plan on going at least once a week, do yourself a favor and buy yourself a nice yoga mat. Mine has been used to the brim and is actually falling apart!  

           But back to the main point, I worked at something until it became a part of me. Now, I meditate every day before bed and stretch before I start my day. It’s an art that has totally altered my overall consciousness and it’s because I worked at it.

There is so much more I have learned but I’m still working on all of that and I promise to let you all in on the rest of it. I’ll be sure to make this overall page more organized and I’ll do my best to be better at technology. Hope you’re all having a wonderful and safe summer! Thank you for reading this, I hope you enjoyed it and will be back to read more!

Stay blessed and love always,
Kadie