It’s been 6 months. 6 months of hell. 6 months of crying. 6 months of trying to move on.
6 months ago, you were looking at your world crumble at your feet. 6 months ago you found out that Brendan was cheating on you. 6 months ago, you broke up with the man you loved. 6 months ago. You shook your head, as you laid in bed that the both of you shared only 6 months ago. You still lived in Montreal because your job was still here and you couldn’t leave. You had the same apartment that was filled with memories that the two of you shared.
Every once and a while you would see Brendan on TV or sometimes shopping with his friends and you always broke down. You sat up and threw your legs over and sat on the edge of the bed… You got invited to go to lunch with a few of your friends from work to perk you up.. You sighed running your fingers through your hair. You stood up and made your way to the bathroom and looked in the mirror.
“Pathetic.” You whispered and turned on the water.
It’s been 6 months and you’re still not over it. Him.
You washed your face and put some curls to your hair. You applied makeup and went to the dresser drawer getting out skinny jeans and a over sized gray jumper that you loved so much. You put on your boots and looked at yourself in the mirror. You smiled. You knew it was fake, but to you. To you, it looked real.
You grabbed your pink clutch and texted the girls that you were leaving the house, but had to stop by the store to run a quick errand. You put your phone in your bag and went out the front door and getting in your car. You sighed and smiled again.
“It’s a new day, be positive.” You smiled and backed out of the parking space. You drove to the mall, it had a target and that’s exactly what you needed. You pulled into the parking spot and got out making your way inside. You looked around for the makeup isle and walked over. You bent down to look at the foundation that lined the bottom shelf.
You hummed to yourself as you checked each brand.
“Y/N? Is that you?” You heard a mans voice and your head went straight up and over looking for the face that matched the voice, the voice you knew so well. The voice that you missed. Brendan’s.
“Yup. That’s me.” You smiled. It was totally fake. No matter how much you missed him, no matter how much you wanted to hug him, kiss him. He was still a bastard.
“How are you?” He asked. How am I. You asked yourself and had to think.
‘Oh me? I’m going through hell. How are you Brendan.’ You shook that thought out of your head.
“I’m great. How are you?” You asked looking back at the foundation. Picking one and standing up..
“I’m okay. You look great. I miss you.” He said bitting the inside of his cheek.
“That’s good.” You smiled. Fake. Again.
“Listen, do you think I can take you to dinner? Maybe we can talk about this? Try to do this again? I’ve changed Y/N.” He said looking at you dead in the eye.
You didn’t know what to say. Your heart was aching and you wanted to run, dig a hole and stay in there forever and ever. Never come out.
“I don’t know Brendan.” You said. Your hand found the back of your neck, you rubbed it and looked at the ground. You couldn’t look him in the eye.
“You don’t trust me do you?” He asks and you look straight at him with disgust.
“You think. You think I’m supposed to trust you Brendan? Really? You go behind my back after you told me you loved me and cheat on me? And you expect me to trust you?” You spit at him.
“Y/N. She didn’t mean anything. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was dumb. It was 6 months ago and I haven’t talked to any other girl because I can’t let you go. I can’t stop thinking about you. Having an empty bed at night, you not being there when I wake up, when I come home from practice. I can’t do it anymore. I’m losing my mind. I truly love you and the fact that I fucked it up and your not in my life anymore is making me lose my mind.” He says and his eyes fill with tears as he looks at the ground. You have never had a guy confess his love for you and beg for forgiveness.
You mind was telling you to forgive him and take him back. But your heart wanted you to take it slow.
“Listen. Why don’t we start completely over? Take it extremely slow. I’m still not over the whole situation.” You sigh. You weren’t sure if this is exactly what you wanted. But. You’ll try.
His eyes darted up to yours and he smiled.
“Really?” He asked. He was filled with pure joy.
“I guess..” You smiled and for once you realized it was a true smile.
“Dinner tomorrow then? I’ll pick you up at 7?” He asks and his eyes are scanning yours. You nodded and he smiles.
“I’ll see you tomorrow Brendan.” You say and turn around and walk around the corner and to the checkout line.
What did I just do? You asked to yourself. Suddenly the 6 months didn’t seem that long anymore. Suddenly you felt happy. You were so excited for tomorrow and to see his goofy face again. You smiled and continued on with your day with him in the back of your mind.
(Oh my god. I kept writing and writing and this was really long. I’m sorry. -N)