Word Count: 722
Summary: He didn’t nearly need you as much as you needed him. And you learned that the harder way.
You stared at the flashing TV screen in front of you as you sat on your worn couch. An empty coffee mug lay next to you and as you shifted your weight to relieve the pressure on your foot that was positioned under you, the empty snack bags crinkled noisily. The remote in your hands felt heavier as you continued to flip through channels furiously. You had probably gotten through all the channels at least twice.
Another click sent you back to channel 1.
Make that three times.
You ignored the blinking phone screen beside you. Messages of ‘are you okay?’ and ‘please reply back’ haunted your troubled mind. For now, there was nothing that you wanted more than some peace and quiet, away from prying people.
You must have looked distraught right now, like a heroine of a drama in a typical break-up scene. Your hair was disheveled; you slept on your couch and hadn’t bothered to brush it when you woke up. You wore the same clothes from the night before, crinkled and stained with who-knows-what. Your eyes were red and puffy from the stream of tears you cried.
You looked and felt like a mess, as if a hurricane had swept through you and left nothing in its wake but broken pieces.
Absolutely nothing could have prepared you for the heartache you were currently experiencing. You curled up in a ball, bringing your knees closer to your body as memories of last night flooded your mind.
His voice, steady but cold.
His eyes, kind but piercing.
His touch, comforting but fleeting.
And just the thought of him is enough to break all the walls you’ve attempted to repair. Loneliness, anguish, regret; all the feelings you thought you had released through your tears returned with a vengeance. You tried fighting back the sobs, you really did, but just as luck would have it, the show that was on the TV featured him.
Him, the man who had filled your heart with overflowing love only to take it back without so much as a second thought.
You could have picked up the remote that had slipped out of your grasp and changed the channel, but the inner masochist in you stopped all movement in your body. Your breath was caught in your throat as the TV played the familiar tune.
“I need you, girl.”
The words ignited the flame inside you. Your face burned bright from anger. Your blood was practically boiling from the heat you were feeling.
Those words, those lyrics, the deceivingly sweet smile sent to the camera. They left a bitter aftertaste in your mouth, as if you had just finished downing a bottle of poison. The taste scorched you as it travelled down your sore throat and settled in your stomach.
You would have thrown your mug at the TV, really, but your arms were far too weak and your body far too tired. As he said those words to the thousands of other girls through the broadcast, you were reminded that those same words had been directed to you just a couple days before. And it made you sick to your stomach knowing he would be saying those words to other fans, to other lovers, when they had been wholly yours at the start.
What had changed? When did everything start to fall apart?
“I hate you,” you whispered through cracked lips, voice quivering and raw. The TV did not react.
I love you.
“I hate you,” you repeated, getting louder. Your throat hurt. Your heart hurt. Everything hurt.
“I HATE YOU,” you finally exploded. You grabbed the remote in your fury, throwing it up at the screen. Luckily, you had missed your mark, and it hit the wall with a large thump. The impact was enough to trigger the off button. You sat in the messy room in silence, chest heaving up and down from your outburst.
Slowly, you brought your arm down and stared at the reflection of the broken woman in front of your eyes.
He was a liar.
You needed him more than he ever needed you.
“Don’t lie to me, Yoongi,” you murmured pathetically. Your reflection blurred as the tears welled up in your eyes. “You don’t need me.”
okay originally this was supposed to be a Rapmon fic but then Suga fit the role better and i just?!
this is the first time I’ve ever written about a break-up because, well, I’ve never experienced one before so I hope I got the emotions right.
could also be seen as the perspective of a helpless fangirl watching her biases getting more and more popular with a conflicted heart.
oppa notice me