I suppose the reason I loved you the way I did, was because you gave me a sense of being. You gave me an identity.
You see, with you I was everything. When you looked at me like I was the universe, how could I not feel that my eyes held stars and my stomach galaxies?
How could I not believe that my breath gave you the air you breathed when you leaned in so close and inhaled me so often?
With you next to me, I felt I could take on anything and succeed.
Now I’m a mess.
I find myself turning to the hungry, greedy hands of boys who don’t know my worth to put back the pieces. The only problem is, I don’t know what pieces on the ground are actually mine, and which ones are only the pieces you had me believe were me; but in reality they were a reflection of you.
my mantra used to be
‘i want to go home’
but i never understood why. 
i didn’t want to go to my house.
it’s empty,
with its four walls and dusty floors. 

it took me forever to realize that
my house wasn’t what i wanted. 
i wanted you. 
you are my home,
your arms are my walls 
and your love is my shelter. 
come back.
let me find my home again.
—  j.e.b. ((i want to go home.))
I wish I hadn’t spent so much time daydreaming about you and fantasizing about us being together… Turns out you aren’t that great after all..
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #1
How To Be A Good Fan During A Breakup

1. Don’t ask questions.  Yes, we all care about Jack (and any other Youtuber/celebrity you may follow), and it’s natural to wonder what happened.  HOWEVER. It is LITERALLY none of our business.  He didn’t even have to tell us what he did tell us.  It’s always hard to be in the spotlight, especially during rough patches in life.  DO NOT ask him about it, or Mark about it, or any of his friends about it, and FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE DON’T TRY TO FIND HER ON SOCIAL MEDIA.  Just leave it lie.

2.  Don’t start rumors/theories.  About the worst thing you can do is speculate about what did happen/what is going to happen.  Again, we don’t need to know at all.  And it’s not important.  Rumors will only hurt everyone involved and produce false ideas about Jack and others.  Even if you think it’s all harmless speculation, IT’S NOT.  Also, DON’T FEED ANY RUMORS YOU SEE.  Even if something is true, it doesn’t need to be all over the internet.  Respect Jack and his ex enough to let it be.

3.  Don’t use this as an “opportunity” of any kind!  This is the WORST.  When people use breakups to “ship” people with others, or claim that now they are “free” to get with someone else, or even worse, go after them yourselves is WRONG AND MANIPULATIVE.  Jack seems very nice and accepting about the shipping thing, but that is only our imaginations and the internet.  It is NOT real life.  Don’t confuse Jack’s real life situation with silly fun internet pairings.

4.  Support Jack as always. :)  Draw uplifting fanart (not about pairings or girlfriends, mind you).  Send encouraging messages.  Keep the community positive and clean for him so he doesn’t have to clean up any messes.  :) Most of these tips are a given, because this community is fantastic and has always been great to Jack and each other.  I know that you are all going to be wonderfully supportive and kind as always, and I’m sure Jack isn’t worried one bit about backlash from the community.  I believe in you all, Jack believes in you all.

LET’S SHOW JACK WHAT THIS COMMUNITY CAN BE FOR HIM!!!!!!! :D :D :D

Dependency

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 722

Summary: He didn’t nearly need you as much as you needed him. And you learned that the harder way.

========================================

You stared at the flashing TV screen in front of you as you sat on your worn couch. An empty coffee mug lay next to you and as you shifted your weight to relieve the pressure on your foot that was positioned under you, the empty snack bags crinkled noisily. The remote in your hands felt heavier as you continued to flip through channels furiously. You had probably gotten through all the channels at least twice.

Another click sent you back to channel 1.

Make that three times.

You ignored the blinking phone screen beside you. Messages of ‘are you okay?’ and ‘please reply back’ haunted your troubled mind. For now, there was nothing that you wanted more than some peace and quiet, away from prying people. 

You must have looked distraught right now, like a heroine of a drama in a typical break-up scene.  Your hair was disheveled; you slept on your couch and hadn’t bothered to brush it when you woke up. You wore the same clothes from the night before, crinkled and stained with who-knows-what. Your eyes were red and puffy from the stream of tears you cried. 

You looked and felt like a mess, as if a hurricane had swept through you and left nothing in its wake but broken pieces.

Absolutely nothing could have prepared you for the heartache you were currently experiencing. You curled up in a ball, bringing your knees closer to your body as memories of last night flooded your mind.

His voice, steady but cold.

His eyes, kind but piercing.

His touch, comforting but fleeting.

And just the thought of him is enough to break all the walls you’ve attempted to repair. Loneliness, anguish, regret; all the feelings you thought you had released through your tears returned with a vengeance. You tried fighting back the sobs, you really did, but just as luck would have it, the show that was on the TV featured him.

Him, the man who had filled your heart with overflowing love only to take it back without so much as a second thought.

You could have picked up the remote that had slipped out of your grasp and changed the channel, but the inner masochist in you stopped all movement in your body. Your breath was caught in your throat as the TV played the familiar tune.

“I need you, girl.” 

The words ignited the flame inside you. Your face burned bright from anger. Your blood was practically boiling from the heat you were feeling. 

Those words, those lyrics, the deceivingly sweet smile sent to the camera. They left a bitter aftertaste in your mouth, as if you had just finished downing a bottle of poison. The taste scorched you as it travelled down your sore throat and settled in your stomach. 

You would have thrown your mug at the TV, really, but your arms were far too weak and your body far too tired. As he said those words to the thousands of other girls through the broadcast, you were reminded that those same words had been directed to you just a couple days before. And it made you sick to your stomach knowing he would be saying those words to other fans, to other lovers, when they had been wholly yours at the start.

What had changed? When did everything start to fall apart? 

I’m sorry.

“I hate you,” you whispered through cracked lips, voice quivering and raw. The TV did not react.

I love you.

“I hate you,” you repeated, getting louder. Your throat hurt. Your heart hurt. Everything hurt.

Forgive me.

“I HATE YOU,” you finally exploded. You grabbed the remote in your fury, throwing it up at the screen. Luckily, you had missed your mark, and it hit the wall with a large thump. The impact was enough to trigger the off button. You sat in the messy room in silence, chest heaving up and down from your outburst. 

Slowly, you brought your arm down and stared at the reflection of the broken woman in front of your eyes. 

He was a liar.

You needed him more than he ever needed you.

“Don’t lie to me, Yoongi,” you murmured pathetically. Your reflection blurred as the tears welled up in your eyes. “You don’t need me.”

Not anymore. 

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okay originally this was supposed to be a Rapmon fic but then Suga fit the role better and i just?!

this is the first time I’ve ever written about a break-up because, well, I’ve never experienced one before so I hope I got the emotions right. 

could also be seen as the perspective of a helpless fangirl watching her biases getting more and more popular with a conflicted heart. oppa notice me

he doesn’t look at you because you are the sunrise in midsummer
you are more than he could have ever asked for–

your existence is incomprehensible
like the soft melting of the colors in the sky as it awakens
soft pink to crushed lavender petals

the glittering sound of your words weighs like dumbbells on his
lips. solid silver bars and gold
rays of sun–your eyelashes blinding his horizons.

he can’t see past you
he can’t see past you
close your eyes.
imagine how pale the comparison is: 
he is the dewy milk left in the bottom of a golden pail and
you are the ambrosia.

do not sell yourself short–
because when the ships sail, you are Jason
and he is stranded again, eyes craning in the horizon trying to catch
a mere glimpse of the dark amber pools
you call your eyes. 

when you leave, he stands forgotten
trembling from the parchment that has entered his 
throat.

do not look at him, anymore,
you are more than he could have ever asked for

—  “Breakup 101 or you are more than he could have ever asked for” by Steffanee Wang
Every night I enter a world full of illusion to see your face once more, and to deeply fall in love with you all over again.
I can never get enough, I started doing it at daytime.
Imagine having a home built of unconscious images. Imagine breathing in fantasy and suffocating in reality.
—  Datragicc