breaking-up-is-hard-to-do

anonymous asked:

my current long distance boyfriend. He forces or guilt trips me to do things for him. I hate myself for doing those things but he doesn't care. He treats me like I'm his sex toy. But he promises me he will do all these nice thing. I feel like he will never do those things. I tried to leave but he gets suicidal. So I have to stay, somehow I'm in love with him. I can't do it anymore, I keep hurting myself because I want to be his perfect girlfriend (he never calls me beautiful). What do I do?

he’s abusing you. i was in the same exact situation as you. i tried to leave him so many times but he always found a way to guilt trip me back into being with him. one day i just got so worn down (he had ultimately cheated on me) that i didn’t even formally break up with him, i just completely blocked him out of my life, and it was REALLY HARD to do because of all the emotional manipulation and the dependency i had formed. i thought being without him would be the worst thing, but fast forward three years without any communication, and i’m doing better than i ever have. you can do it, too. i believe in you, even if it takes a long time to finally leave, even if you can never do it. but i need you to try. you’ll be so much better off down the line once you recover.

anonymous asked:

I want to start running but I find it really hard to push through the first few weeks because I'm so out of shape. Do you have any tips?

Walk before you run. Like do a week of just walks and slowly build up speed.
Do breaks of running and then walking like 2mins hard run then 3mins fast walk and then again. It helps you get into it slowly.
Eat well and load up on the water!! A good pre workout is also an A++ idea!
It’s super hard
You’ll hate every second
But worth itttt

Download the Nike run app aswell!

It’s crazy comparing my stance on relationships now to my stance on them before. Before I used to be somewhat jealous and had a mentality of “I’m yours and you’re mine.” Which of course would lead to toxic behaviors from both of us and when the break-up would ensue, I’d end up in such a negative place. And I would take it so ridiculously hard when they would move on and find something new. (I’ve always been a lot slower than my exes when it came to finding someone new.) 
However, the way I feel about things now is so radically different. I feel like if/when I end up having something with someone I don’t want any type of possession from either of us to be instated. I’m mine, and you’re yours. And all we’re doing is agreeing to support each other’s growth. And of course if that develops into a deeper type of love, then great. But if it ends, that’s fine too. And if at some point during our partnership your interest fades or you find possible interest in someone/thing new then good for you! I’ll even support that and be grateful for our time shared and that our union served as a stepping stone in your path towards this new person/thing. (And vice versa bc the same can end up happening for me.)
I’ve come to learn and be so turned off by watching other’s relationships that seem so codependent. When, although stated in good intentions, people talk about how they are so happy and can’t imagine not being with their partner. To me, that’s not good. You’re still you. That person did not fill some hole or empty space within you. I personally think its impossible for any external person/thing to fill these spaces we imagine in ourselves. (I say imagine bc I also don’t think we have holes within us, but that’s a whole other topic.) 

This post feels a bit wonky and incomplete but meh whatever

I hate when people are like “if you don’t like x thing then clearly you don’t understand thing”

and then you explain “No, actually I do understand x thing, in fact here is a 10-page-essay breaking down x thing that I just whipped up off the top of my head, with citations. I understand it just fine, I JUST DON’T HAVE TO LOVE IT”

sometimes this goes to hilarious degrees, like when I said “the old Tron was just butchered in editing, to the point where the plot is very hard to follow”

some wanker: “Oh well I understood it perfectly but I know a lot about computers

me: “I didn’t mean the computer stuff, it’s from the goddamn 80′s it’s pretty basic - I meant characters randomly disappearing from the movie with no explanation, and that scene where Tron’s girlfriend kisses Jeff Bridges for no reason”

wanker: “Oh, err, yeah.”

:’D

He’s been part of your fabric, you can’t just cut him out. You have to unweave him, which is going to take a long time, so take all the time you need.
— 

One of my best friends after my breakup.

I keep circling back to this, holding to it whenever I hurt, which is still oftener than I’d like.

I’ve been trying to quit smoking and I do really great until someone says your name and then I go out and smoke a whole pack in three hours.
Last time we spoke, two weeks ago, I told you whatever we were, it wasn’t working, and you told me you were blocking my number because we always end and you were sick of being the one fucked up about it.
I laughed about that later when I finished crying. To imply that you were the only upset one feels like an insult to all the days I wasted trying to forget your face.
My mom told me she thought I did the right thing, but she still understood my sadness and consoled me while I cried and we watched the golden girls.
We’ve done that before, when you left me five years ago. I didn’t eat for a week until she told me that if I didn’t eat that day she was putting me in the hospital.
I choked down toast and wanted to vomit every single time I thought of you and the way you looked at me and lied to me about the reason you were leaving.
Even though we’ve loved each other since then, I still want to throw up now, half a decade later, when I think about that summer without you.
I attempted to drown your memory in cheap vodka and I tried to burn you away with cigarettes and weed but your name was already etched into my veins.
I saw a psychiatrist that summer. He asked what I wanted and I said I wanted to eat again. I wanted my hands to stop trembling and I wanted to feel something other than sad.
I’ve heard that if you really love someone, you never truly stop.
I don’t know if that’s true, but I know that with every beat of my heart, a part of me aches for you even now.
I wanted this to say something that I don’t know how to say directly to you, but the things I think translate best when left in my head.
I’m sorry I can’t find the words.
I leave before I am left now
And I don’t think my heart could handle being left by you again.
I’m taking the easy way out and I hope that years from now you’ll think of me and smile instead of grimace over the bitter taste I left in your mouth.
—  Texts I’ll never send, no. 1
Breaking Up is Hard to Do

He didn’t know how to describe what he felt. Hurt. Crushed. Confused. Those were a few words that accurately described some of what John was feeling.

He and Mary had just broken up. Well, Mary had just broken up with John. He had no idea why; he’d thought he was doing everything right, and they really seemed to go good together. So he was utterly baffled when Mary said she thought it was best that they not continue their relationship.

John needed someone to talk to. He couldn’t talk to Sherlock; that was obviously out of the picture, because Sherlock would only mock him for having ‘sentiment’ and 'feelings’. He didn’t want to talk to his sister, because, to be honest, his sister was never any good at relationships. And he didn’t want to talk to Mike because…well, because he was Mike.

No, the one person he wanted to talk to was Molly. Molly was his friend, and she seemed to understand feelings much more than Sherlock did. Molly was caring and kind and John had a feeling she would not only listen but also give advice. So he pulled out his phone and sent her a quick text.

Busy? Need someone to talk to.


He waited for her to reply, tapping his fingers anxiously on his phone as he continued his walk down the sidewalk.

Do it for the right reasons

Fitness has become a huge part of our lives. Some people just started their journey and feel completely lost and it’s fine. 

You probably started fitness because you wanted to get strong for your future boxing match, or because your belly is too big, or simply because you want to get over a break up.

At the end of the day, this reason is your goal and nobody will judge you for it. But keep in mind that you should never do something to please other people. Because when it will become hard, you’ll give up.

Never look for approval. Pleasing others will lead you nowhere in life. Have a purpose in life and go after it. I prefer someone who tells me “bro, I love boxing, without it I feel empty” than someone who says “my friends told me I’m too skinny, so I decided to go to the gym”.

If you’re overweight or skinny, it doesn’t change you as a person. Your past/current state doesn’t matter, because you will become someone better.

As long as you’re doing it for yourself, you will get stronger physically and mentally. You will slowly build habits that will take a big part of your life. Define a final goal and work on small commitments on a weekly basis, that’s the best way to achieve.

“You don’t set out to build a wall. You don’t say ‘I’m going to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that’s ever been built.’ You don’t start there. You say, ‘I’m going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid. You do that every single day. And soon you have a wall.” – Will Smith

We’re all gonna make it:

http://www.gymaholic.co/

When the separation of Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore was announced last month, the band stressed that they’d finish out all confirmed touring plans.  Well last night’s show at the SWU Festival in Sao Paulo, Brazil was the last of those shows and as Slicing Up Eyeballs reports, the whole set was broadcast on Brazilian television. So if this ends up being the final Sonic Youth show, it’s documented in multi-camera, high quality footage in three parts from the following links: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.