my current long distance boyfriend. He forces or guilt trips me to do things for him. I hate myself for doing those things but he doesn't care. He treats me like I'm his sex toy. But he promises me he will do all these nice thing. I feel like he will never do those things. I tried to leave but he gets suicidal. So I have to stay, somehow I'm in love with him. I can't do it anymore, I keep hurting myself because I want to be his perfect girlfriend (he never calls me beautiful). What do I do?
he’s abusing you. i was in the same exact situation as you. i tried to leave him so many times but he always found a way to guilt trip me back into being with him. one day i just got so worn down (he had ultimately cheated on me) that i didn’t even formally break up with him, i just completely blocked him out of my life, and it was REALLY HARD to do because of all the emotional manipulation and the dependency i had formed. i thought being without him would be the worst thing, but fast forward three years without any communication, and i’m doing better than i ever have. you can do it, too. i believe in you, even if it takes a long time to finally leave, even if you can never do it. but i need you to try. you’ll be so much better off down the line once you recover.