brainhurt

So in the town I grew up in, an eleven year old girl was held down by an officer at gun point, and the other officer held her down with his knee in her own house. All because they responded to a ‘burglary’ because the alarm was accidentally tripped. This was a link reposted/shared on a friend’s Facebook; an Orlando news team reported this and the police department is now undergoing an investigation. It turns out the two officers have violated numerous times prior to this. Some moron commented, “How is this excessive force?”. I died a little. I’ll try to find the link to the news report, but that ignorant comment just made me sad for the world. AN ELEVEN YEAR OLD GIRL. SHE WAS IN BED WATCHING THE DISNEY CHANNEL. ETA: http://m.wftv.com/news/news/local/groveland-officers-accused-using-excessive-force-1/nj2Cp/

The Green Heart is the Symbol of....

damn it Melon…I need a keyword for you and my brain doesn’t wanna come up with something…

Love, Hope, Prayer, Happiness…

there’s gotta be something that fits with those…

why can’t I come up with something?

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Poor woman. “Yes, I can make your brain hurts” (Neil DeGrase). And he did it. #neildegrase #brainhurt #physics #freedom #present #past #future #reality #philosophy

Monday Brain Hurt

Trying to decipher the English of someone that does not speak it as their native tongue is the most difficult part of my job. I fully understand why their English is the way it is ( they’re trying to structure the sentence like they would in their native language) but damn its hard especially on a Monday morning. 

Spiritual stuff

Okay so consider this. 

You’ve heard the phrase “I think, therefore I am” I’m sure. This phrase was coined by Rene Descartes, a French philosopher from the somethingth century. The point of the phrase was to propose human existence at its most fundamental point.

It sort of translates to: “The thing that makes us consciously exist in this "reality” of ours is thought.“ 

Now I propose that every living being has a similar sort of self-referencing validity. But not through thoughts. Rather, through their own loop of experience. 

For instance, maybe to a tree, the phrase could be reinterpreted as: "I grow, therefore I am”… In other words, the tree’s most advanced sense of reality (or life) would be its own growth. As it grows, it validates its own existence through that growth. 

Now although this tree might not consciously be aware of its reality, it is aware (through senses and seasons) of its existence. The tree can’t be like, “Damn, I wish that squirrel hadn’t robbed my nuts,” and fall into a state of frustration. But it could sense a loss of something (the nuts) and consequently react to the loss in some way. Maybe grow harder next year. Maybe spawn more nuts. Bigger nuts. Who knows. Trees are pretty incredible once you get to know them. 

And to make a point here, if this notion of self-reference is in any way correct, it explains the overall drive for life that living things long for. To keep existing, it must keep doing its own loop - thinking, growing, breathing, eating, whatever it (or they) may be. 

‘Cause when you think about it, it’s incredible how living things have a huge drive to keep living/procreating. Through years, decades, centuries. There might be something behind that drive. Maybe a spirit? Or maybe it’s just the fear of the unknown (or to a tree, unexperienced).

Idk, it’s just something to think about …

Homestead

So I’m back home for a visit/two shows with my old comedy band Splooge (splooge.bandcamp.com). It’s been super hectic and busy, I’ve retold the same stories and updates a hundred times, and caught up with some lovely people. Being home is nice and I think I needed to come back and see here but I have to say that it’s also a bit odd feeling, a little depressing, and just generally uncomfortable. I’m happy to be here and to see everyone, but this is not a place that would be good for me to come back to for sure.

I think Moncton is a city that would only do me harm if I were here day-in-day out. It’s a weird feeling, feeling that about the place you grew up in, that you know so intimately. Don’t know how to describe it. I thought Haifax might be a place I’d be content to move to if I was interested in coming back to the East Coast, but honestly I didn’t get a great feeling about the city itself. It was only a passing through but I just don’t think I could call it home.

I’m not sure how to feel overall. If anything I’m more determined to do something distinct from every other aspect of my past in Toronto, to move forward and do something that is uniquely me, the product of my past friends and experiences, and not something that still tries to make old relationships fit the person that I am now. 

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@suchmuchhipsterboi…wat. #rubber #rubberthemovie #brainhurt (at my apartment)