August, where did you go? So far September is really hot and I’m sick, so that doesn’t bode well. I was at work for about 10 minutes this morning, coughed a few times, said a few things in my pathetic sick voice and got kicked out.

It is my birthday month, though, and we’re spending a few nights in a little beach town in Florida in a couple weeks. I can’t wait!

The plan for August was to stick to paleo-ish eating, wear my FitBit, drink lots of water and work out more consistently.

I did really well with food for the first two weeks of the month, got off my game a bit, then calmed back down. Water consumption was way up.

I forgot my FitBit here and there, but I did wear it most days. Holler. Workouts were pretty good, too. Scott and I started Saturday workouts together after I close the gym, and I’ve been making it to a decent number of classes. Still not as consistently as I’d like, though.

And now for September. I’d like to be a little more, uh, scientific about these goals. Less “more” or “some” and more numbers. I want to be able to actually track my progress.

  • work out at least 5 times a week
  • 100 ounces of water a day
  • read three books
  • track macros/count calories 
  • walk/run an average of 10K steps a day each week
  • run once a week
  • spent 2 hours writing each week
  • stick to my personal budget ($120/month)

Over and out.

I try to find you in everyone. 

Because I miss you 

I just want to be able to one more time touch you 
Say boodbye, that I am sorry because I didn’t understand that you were my life and even more 
And I never know why I just watched as they simply shut your door 

I was naive and when you said forever, I felt trust 
- as I poured myself out of the purest love and lust. 
Thought I’d meet you again 
But I was ignorant, so that was then 

No matter how hard I seek, I never find you 
I just find idiots and I think that the memories of you must be made of glue 
Because I cannot push them aside 
Even when my ability to think clear has died 

You where not all I had 
- but all for whom I really cared 
And I should keep the feeling of just the fact that you once shared your life with me, to make me just a little bit glad. 
But for all the times I made you sad 
I’m sorry and I wish I could go back to make it right 
But now our love’s dead, because I don’t think it just sleeps, honey; it’s not even night 
Now all my love is spent 
I don’t know where your love to me went. 
But I can’t feel it, I truly wish I just for one of all these weeks, months and oh, the all the lonely time that lies infront of me could. 
I wish I had that safe, naive, lovely feeling of “I feel almost too good”. 

I swear, I could die for just the chance to be able to sleep beside you one last time.

Let’s make this quick and easy…

August Goals

  • Horrible! Except I read 2.5/4 books and in my defense, the third book I started is 600+ pages vs. 300+ pages of the two books I did read (Night Circus and Tell the Wolves I’m Home)

Labor Day Weekend

  • Pretty boring by most standards, which is okay, I needed a break.
  • Friday night went to see the James Brown movie “Get On Up” with Al and his bandmates, followed by drinks at Bar Louie
  • Saturday slept in, went to Jazz Fest
  • Sunday slept in, went to Luke Bryan (including tailgating)
  • Monday slept in, went to linner with Al’s parents at Piece, drinks at Big Star then a Nick Cage movie on Netflix and beers on the couch.

September Goals

  • 10,000 steps 25 days
  • Run 12 times (3+ miles)
  • Bike 8 times (6+ miles)
  • Tone It Up work out 8 times
  • Floss 9 times
  • Read 2.5 books (finish Cutting for Stone, plus two others)
  • Volunteer 10 hours
  • Apply for 1 job

I was going to put something in there about financial goals but LOL I have an astronomical Gyno bill to pay and more upcoming dental work that even if I DO pay off a credit card this month, it won’t matter, I’ll just be back to charging it next month.

Frankly, most men bore me.
This is a problem because
I would never be content
with a plain existence
sitting in one room for
the rest of my life with
a boring husband who I have
come to love mainly out of
necessity. I want the one whom
I devote myself to —
to be incredible. Electric.
Someone worth knowing. Someone
who intrigues beyond the point
of comprehension. Someone who
electrifies all of the cells
of my body, who ignites the surface
of my skin when we touch. Someone
who sees me more for my
soul substance rather than
the sum of my parts. He will
understand how to keep me.

How to enliven even
the darkest corners of my
entire universe. He will
fall in love daily
with the subtle nuances
I have saved just for him.

He will know what he has
and what he could lose.
What we would lose, together
If ever we were to unravel.
And what we will gain
by joining ourselves.
By being near each other.

And we will grow.
And deepen with our
and simplicity.

And continue.
And continue.
And understand
that the final chapter
will never
be written.

—  "Dynamic" By Radha Kistler {}