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in loving memory

reason #98 why I was a retarded child

when me and my sister were small we were pretty dumb and we hadn’t really grasped the whole idea of “laundry”. we never saw our mum change our sheets so for some reason we thought they stayed on our bed. now, everybody knows the great phenomenon of the “cold side of the pillow” and me and my sister thought that the longer we left the “cold side” on the other side, the colder it would get… this was okay at first. we used to say “I’m gonna wait for a whole hour” and once or twice “I’m gonna wait until MIDNIGHT” (which would probably not happen cause we’d fall asleep..). ok so that was alright I suppose. but then it escalated. quickly. we ended up saying “I’m not going to turn my pillow over until HALLOWEEN”. and we would absolutely over exaggerate it. like, if I was my age back then I’d be all “dude this shit is fucking COLD” but no I was 6 so I was like “it’s superdy duper cold” and shit. one time, me and my sister kept a bet that we would both not turn our pillows for a year. I kept the bet. and I found out a year later… she had been turning her pillow while I was asleep. the whole time.

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