on our way to see bo i realized i forgot to bring a bagel and shelbie had to frantically find me a Starbucks and we turned into oncoming traffic and almost died and i had to run like half a block just to get to this hotel thing that had a little baby Starbucks and i walked in and the lights were off and i realized it was closed but i was desperate and i saw a guy washing cups in the back so i knocked on the glass and he was like “what in shit” and came and unlocked the door like “um…can i help you” and i took a deep breath and was like “ok this is gonna sound weird but…I RUN A TWITTER ACCOUNT FOR A BAGEL AND BO BURNHAM IS GIVING ME TICKETS TO SEE HIS SHOW TONIGHT BUT I LEFT MY BAGELS AT HOME AND I REALLY NEED TO..” and in the middle of me talking he just backs away and i thought i freaked him out but 40 seconds later he comes back with the perfect simple bagel, slips it into a cute Starbucks bag, hands it to me and quietly says “just go”

  • baby:f...f...f
  • parent:are you trying to say father?
  • baby:f...f...f..
  • parent:you can do it!
  • baby:f...fuck the rules fuck the game fuck you tools fuck you're lame if giving a fuck means suckin up then fuck it fuck the fame