Someday

Someday I’m going to meet someone who will turn my whole world upside down, someone who will take my breath away. She will be special to me and I will do anything just so I can get to know her better. Someday I will ask her out to grab a cup of coffee. Days later we’ll go out on a few more dates. I will take her to places she has never been before and we’ll have loads of fun together. And someday, I’ll ask her to be my girlfriend. I’ll ask her in a way she’ll never forget for the rest of her life. She will say yes and I will be the happiest guy on Earth.

Someday I’m going to do absolutely everything to make her feel special and loved. Not just on Valentine’s Days, on our anniversary or on her birthday, but every single day. I’ll go out of my way to make her happy. Someday I’ll give her flowers just because it’s Tuesday. I’ll show off to the world how lucky I am to be hers. Someday I’ll take her to meet my parents and they will love her. Someday she’ll also take me to meet her parents and hopefully they will like me, too.

Someday I’m going to fall more in love with her and it will be like that forever. Someday I will go down on one knee and propose to her. I’ll tell her exactly how I feel, her heart will melt and she will say yes. Someday she and I will become.. WE. Someday we’ll be spending the rest of our lives together — building a beautiful home for our future children, travelling around the world and loving each other endlessly. Someday we’ll have the most beautiful kids. They will have my eyes and her gorgeous smile. They will look up to her and she will be a great mother.

Someday we’re going to have good days and we’ll be there for each other but more importantly, we’ll be there for the bed bad times. We’ll be there for one another when we’re at our worst to bring each other up and to remind each other that we’re the best. Some days will be hard. Most days will be bad. We’ll even be on the brink of falling apart, but we’ll pull through. I will be her headache and she will be my pain in the ass, but we will love each other in spite of that. We’ll fuss and fight during the day but we’ll be fighting for each other most of the time. We will remind each other why we fell in love in the first place and why we’re going to last. We won’t let anything come between us because we know that nothing can break a love like ours.

And someday we’ll both retire from our jobs and live somewhere far from the city. Some place with a great view. We’ll spend each night and every waking moment in each other’s arms. Even when her hair turns gray and my hair is all gone, I will love her just the same. We will spend the rest of our lives together and we’ll be like one those cute couples who struggle crossing the street, but we’ll cross the street together. Someday I’ll be the 80-year-old guy who takes the bus to the flower shop to buy her some flowers because that day will be a Tuesday. We’ll spend each day like it’s our last, and at the end of it all, we will be happy. Even if one of us passes, we will accept it. We will never have regrets because we will have spent as much time as we possibly could with each other. We will never really be apart for our memories will linger on.

Someday I’m going to live a full life like that. But until then, I will live for today and continue hoping that I will find her and that she will be mine.. someday.

Juan of a Kind

KABATAANG PINOY

1. Kahit sino, kahit hindi magkakakilala, basta usapang sex at kahalayan, game na game yan sila.

2. Kung anu-anong mga salita ang naiisip:

  • Borlogs
  • Epal
  • Jologs

3. Ang daming pauso tulad ng pagbabaliktad ng mga salita:

  • Lispu
  • Bogchi
  • Sokpa

4. Ginagawang acronym ang kung anu-anong salita kahit hindi mo maintindihan:

  • PG - Patay Gutom
  • PB - PaBurger
  • KKB - Kanya Kanyang Bayad
  • F na F - Feel na Feel
  • G na G - Galit na Galit

5. Basta bakla ka, kahit anong gawin mong tago, nadedetect ka nila.

6. Palaging tigang — umaga man, tanghaling tapat, dapithapon o gabi.

7. Kahit tambak sa schoolwork at may sangkatutak na project, may panahon pa rin para makapagcomputer, lalo na ang mag-Tumblr.

JEEPNEY DRIVER

1. Kahit hindi magseatbelt at nakashorts lang, hindi sila hinuhuli ng MMDA. Nakikipag-apir pa nga sila minsan.

2. Trademark nila ang paggamit ng Good Morning towel.

3. Kahit puno na ng mga pasahero ang jeep, pagpipilitan pa ring pagkasyahin ang buong Pilipinas sa loob.

4. Kahit gaano karami pa ang sumakay sa jeep, kahit gaano kasiksikan, kabisado nila kung sino ang nagbayad na at hindi pa.

5. Mas malupit pa sila mga internet shop, bar at kung anu-ano pa kung makahingi ng ID para makapag-avail ka ng discount.

PINOY

1. Kahit ano ang pinag-uusapan basta gagamit ng salitang “kuwan” “ano” “parang” “diba” “alam na” “gets” atbp, kahit hindi nila sabihin lahat, nagkakaintindihan pa rin sila. Mahirap ‘tong i-explain pero diba, parang.. basta! O, naintindihan mo diba?

2. Kahit anong pinag-uusapan basta dagdagan lang ng mura, naiintindihan pa rin.

"Nakakainis talaga yun! Sarap bugbugin kasi p******** eh!" (Gets?)

3. Pag nagkikita, taas lang ng kilay, ayus na!

4. Kahit baon sa utang, basta fiesta, TODO HANDA.

5. Kahit walang pera, basta may drama, nagu-“good time” kasama ang barkada.

6. Sa mga okasyon, hindi mawawala ang spaghetti, ang hotdog na may marshmallow sa dulo at nakatusok sa pinya.

7. Pag may natirang pagkain sa inorder, tine-“take home”.

8. Kahit bitin ang pera basta may pinuntahang lugarna malayo, palaging may pasalubong na dala.

9. Kahit saang parte ng mundo ilagay, malalaman mong Pinoy sila kasi sangkatutak kumain ng rice.

10. Marunong kumain ng nakakamay.

11. Kahit saan magpunta, PICTURE PICTURE yan. 

12. Ang tawag nila sa “photocopy” ay “xerox”.

13. Kahit may shower hose, gumagamit pa rin ng tabo pag naliligo.

14. Laging may Last Supper at dalawang malalaking spoon and fork sa dining area.

15. Palaging may rosary na nakakabit sa rear view mirror ng sasakyan.

16. Mahilig magvideoke.

17. Mukhang mga “promo”. Sa text man yan o sa mga bilihin sa mall.

18. May mga nakatagong “special” utensils, pinggan at mga baso para sa mga bisita. Pati mga “special” na bed sheets at blankets.

19. Ginagamit ang mga daliri sa pagsukat ng tubig sa tuwing nagsasaing ng bigas.

20. Kadalasang late sa mga appointment dahil sa lintek na “Filipino time”.

PINOY SOCIAL MEDIA

1. Friendster ang “initiation” ng mga Pinoy sa mundo ng social networking sites.

2. Facebook ang naging tambayan ng mga Pilipino nung lumaos ang Friendster.

3. Ubos ang pera sa mga internet shop dahil sa mga OL games at pakikipagchat sa mga dayuhang prospects.

4. Bagong pamamaraan ng pagstalk sa mga kinahuhumalingang artista at sa mga artisahing crush.

5. Pag may sumisikat na Pinoy sa internet, pinagpipyestahan agad at pinag-uunahang mainterbyu ng mga news channels.

PINOY MEDIA

1. Sa halos lahat ng drama, mahirap ang bida.

2. Laging Starex at van ang laging getaway vehicle ng mga kidnapper.

3. Kahit anong barilin ng bida, sumasabog. Pati puno.

4. Mura lang ang mga baril sa TV. Kasi after maubusan ng bala, tinatapon na nila. Disposable.

5. Sa mga action films noon, laging isa sa mga henchmen yung may balbas, yung isang kalbo na maitim o di kaya e yung isa na may mahaba ang buhok.

6. Palaging slow-mo ang barilan ng bida at kontrabida.

7. Palaging may nakikitang dos por dos o kung anumang pamalo ang bidang babae na sobrang lakas kaya nilang patumbahin ang mga tauhan ng kontrabida kahit supermegaultra seksi sila.

8. Hindi lang mga kanta ang nirerevive nila, pati mga teleserye.

9. Hindi napapagod ang mga Pinoy na artista kasi makikita mo sila araw-araw sa dalawa o higit pang mga programa.

10. Mahilig silang manggaya ng mga GAMESHOW at mga foreign series.

11. Mas gusto nilang dinadub ang mga palabas kesa lagyan ng subtitles.

12. Sa Pilipinas madalas nagiging Politiko ang mga Artista at ang mga Artista nagiging Politiko.

”.. Kasi walang ganyan sa States.”

Sometimes it only needs a match to start a fire.

When you meet someone, it’s sort of magical. You guys would talk nonstop cos you’re in that stage where you want to know about each other more. That stage where your single thought consists of talking to that person, being always around them, or somewhere along those lines. You guys would text all hours of day and enjoy phone calls at night until one of you falls asleep on the phone. When the sun rises, whoever wakes up first sends the first “good morning” text cos the first thing that came to your mind was him/her. This is the stage where you get that tingly sensation all over your body. Those butterflies, too. It’s when you still get nervous around them when you hang out, yet, for some reason, you’re comfortable at the same time. But eventually, you’ll get used to their presence and you’ll adjust easily.

Whether it has happened or it still is, CHERISH IT. Cherish those cute little moments when you guys would do anything just to talk and be together because those won’t last. In the long run, one of you will get tired of it, one of you will slowly drift away. That “spark” that you once had isn’t going to shine as bright as it used to.

Here’s another advice, DON’T TAKE THOSE MOMENTS FOR GRANTED. When you’re both in that flirting stage, make it last long. Just because you already have that person in the palm of your hands, doesn’t mean you’d have to stop adoring them like you used to. There will always be room for improvement, or so they say. For most people, the moment they get what they wanted, they’ll stop trying. That’s when efforts start to lessen and that’s when they get bored. Those quick replies you once got are going to stop. Compared to when you guys first met, they would probably reply to you a little later than usual and then after a while, they won’t even answer anymore. Remember those times when you had your phone in your hands 24/7 cos your days consisted of talking so-and-so? You literally blocked the whole world out just to spend time talking to them. There’s a slim chance for those moments to come back because efforts won’t be the same again. And that talking-on-the-phone-till-one-falls-asleep will eventually stop, too. I bet they would even come up with all the crappiest excuses just to cover it up. Truth be told, there’ll be a time when they would no longer want to talk to you cos they’re tired of doing the same old thing, talking about the same old stuff over and over.

Usually when this happens, almost every relationship ends in the most cliché breakups — the “it’s not you, it’s me” kind of thing. That’s what’s going to hurt. You’re going to feel like you didn’t put enough effort in the relationship when in reality, he/she didn’t. Don’t take it as if you failed — they did. It’s not your loss, it’s theirs. You know you deserve better.

But for some who value their other half than the glory days of their relationship, they will strike a match to make that “spark” into a burning flame. Love can be expressed not just during times of happiness, but especially in times of hardships and trials. The good and bad are only part of a relentless fluctuating cycle. People want love but not many will work for it.

"I blog to express, not to impress."

WEH? Di nga?! Sa tingin ko kasi ginagamit mo lang ‘yang gasgas na linyang ‘yan para pagtakpan ang tunay mong intensyon sa iyong pagba-blog. Okay, siguro sabihin na natin na sa una pag-eepxress ng mga saloobin lang talaga ang gusto mong gawin sa site na ‘to, pero eventually nawala na ‘yun. Napalitan na ng paghahabol at pagpaparami ng notes tsaka followers. Aminin mo, ‘teh/koya.

Ganito ang mga palataandaan ko sa taong pagpapasikat (lang) ang intensyon dito:

  • Paulit-ulit nire-reblog ang photos. Oo, alam namin kung gaano ka kaganda/kagwapo sa suot mong ukay-ukay o kung gaano ka ka-hot sa suot mong.. um, balat. Hindi mo na kelangan ipaggiitan sa amin ‘yan at hindi mo kelangan ng maraming bilang ng notes kung alam mo na sa sarili mong pinagpala ka ng magandang mukha/katawan, kung pinagpala ka ng malaking hinaharap o kung malaki man ‘yang bukol sa ano mo.. sa ulo. (oops, bastos pa rin)
  • Wantusawang pag-aarangkada ng mga link sa fan page at sa ibang accounts nila (mapa-Twitter man o Fri3nDs+eRzSsz). Okay lang naman talaga ‘to kaso ‘wag lang ‘yung tipo na kulang na lang magmakaawa kang i-follow/i-add nila ‘yang mga ‘yan. Nakalagay na nga sa blog mo lahat ng links na meron ka eh. Hayaan mo na silang pindutin ang mga ‘yun.
  • Manggaya ng post ng iba. ‘Yung tipong word for word or ni-rephrase lang. Kung nakaka-relate ka naman pala, bakit hindi mo na lang ni-reblog? Bakit kelangan mo pang gumawa ng identical post? So if in case mag-gain ‘yun ng maraming notes, ikaw ‘yung magiging source? Ah, OK.
  • Nagpo-post ng mga irrelevant na bagay sa sitwasyon niya. Oo, pinaparinggan ko ang mga taong nagki-claim na “PERSONAL” ang kanilang mga blog. Kaya nga nag-eexpress ka kuno ng sarili mo diba? Mga SARILING opinyon mo, mga SARILING karanasan atbp. Ganyang mga bagay ang dapat mong sinusulat. Hindi ‘yung basta ka na lang nagpo-post ng mga bagay na ibang tao ang makaka-relate. Ano ka? Spokesperson nila? 
  • Nagsusulat ng personal post tapos ni-reblog ni ano tsaka ni ano, bigla-bigla na agad magagalit. Magpo-post agad ng rant. "PERSONAL POST, NIREBLOG? ADIK TEH? ADIK?" "PERSONAL POST NIREBLOG? BAKIT, TWINS TAYO TEH?" Anakngpitumputpitongangrybirds! Eh malay mo, baka naman natuwa siya sa nabasa niya o hindi naman kaya ay may napulot siyang aral sa nangyari sa’yo, diba? Possible naman ‘yun. Ngunit kadalasan diyan, kunyari galit-galitan lang kasi deep inside, tuwang tuwa na dahil nadagdagan ‘yung notes ng personal post niya na kaunti na lang e magiging katumbas na rin ng bilang sa notes ng ONLINE CHECK niya.
  • Tina-tag ang mga “sikat” na blogger sa posts. Okay lang naman sana ‘to eh, kung talagang may kinalaman ‘yung nasabing blogger sa post na ‘yun. Pero kung hindi naman at pantawag pansin lang, aba! ‘Wag kang magtampo kung i-like lang nila at hindi i-reblog ‘yang post mong ‘yan. Maghintay ka na lang na may ibang blogger na magre-reblog niyan ng kusang loob.
  • Nagpapa-publish ng mga TA nila. Usually, nangyayayri ‘to pag may isang blogger na sikat ang bina-bash ni kalbong ungas. Pag sad na si peymus at todo emoteness sa mga harsh words ni anon, magsusulputan na agad ang mga magco-comfort kuno. "TANGINA MO ANON! HINDI GANYAN SI ANO! ANG BAIT BAIT NGA NITO SA AMIN EH! TSAKA WALA KANG KARAPATAN PAKIALAMAN ANG MALAKING NUNAL NIYA NA MAY BUHOK SA PWET! /PUBLISH.” Oo, ang pinaka-sincere na part lang dun e ‘yung “/PUBLISH.” Besides kasi na parang “dream come true” ang ma-publish ng isang sikat ang TA mo, e tactics na rin ‘yun para makahakot ng mga blogger na maaring bumisita at mag-follow sa blog mo.
  • Umeepal at halatang papansin. Hindi krimen ang umepal at maging KSP, pero to the point na kesyo maraming bisita dun sa blog ni ano e magse-send ka na ng TA. Tipong walastik sa pambobola na hindi maaring itago lang ni blogger sa inbox niya ang mahiwagang mensahe mo. "Grabe, ang ganda mo naman po. Mas maganda ka pa kay Mama! Crush na kita! Pramis!" "You’re awesome! I love your blog!" at kung anu-ano pang istilo ng paglalandi. Ang mga ganitong TA ay parang may invisible “/PUBLISH” na rin.

Actually, marami pa ‘yan kaso nakalimutan ko na. Kayo na lang bahala mag-isip, tutal ang lalaki niyo na, alam niyo na kung ano’ng mali at tama.

And if you may ask, paano naman ‘yung laging nagre-reblog ng mga text post at typos nila? Well, para sa akin, okay lang ‘yun. Baka naman kasi ang purpose lang ng taong ‘yun e mabasa ng mga bago niyang followers ang mga pinost niya dati. Pwede naman ‘yung palusot diba? Tsaka baka relevant lang talaga sa panahon ngayon ‘yung sinulat niya noon.

While we're busy growing up, they're growing old.

It’s sad, you know. Growing up like this. I mean, as we grow up, we’ve been distracted with the petty stuff and we’ve been worrying about the wrong things around us.

We used to cry when we didn’t get the toy we wanted. Then we grew up a little.

We started to ask our parents for money to buy clothes, gadgets. Then we grew up a little.

We began to sneak out past our bedtime to attend parties. Then we grew up a little. And a little more. And a little more..

We’re now in school, stressing over exams and projects, playing with other people’s feelings, fighting over love, balancing our jobs as we prepare ourselves to become adults.

It’s sad, you know. It’s sad that we barely notice how fast we’re growing up and how fast our parents are growing old. It’s sad to see that we take pills and drink stuff to stay awake, to stay focus, or just to even get fucked up while our parents take pills and drink stuff just so they can get some proper sleep or just to stay alive and to keep their bodies functioning properly. It’s sad to know how selfish and self-centered we truly are as kids.. how we can be so naive and oblivious about the important things. But I guess that’s just part of growing up. We get exposed to new things, we learn, we come to a point where we know the truth about ourselves no matter how much it sucks. And the only thing we can do is to accept it.

Eventually, we’ll have kids of our own and this whole thing will happen to us with our own children. The cycle continues. Life goes on. But we still have now, so let’s appreciate our parents and never take them for granted.

Minsan mahirap na ikaw lang ang nagkakagusto sa isang tao. Kasi kahit ilang beses mong i-convince ang sarili mo hindi mo siya gusto, sarili mo lang ang niloloko mo. Lahat ng parte ng katawan mo kinokontra ka. Kahit may isang milyon kang dahilan kung bakit hindi siya posibleng magkagusto sayo, may isang milyon at kalahati ka namang tanong kung bakit hindi pwede. At kahit alam mong may gusto na siyang iba, hindi mo mapigil ang sarili mong umasa na sana ikaw na lang ‘yung nasa posisyon nung taong ‘yun. Ang swerte.. Ang saya niya siguro sa piling ng taong gusto mo. Pero ang hirap. Ang hirap maging masaya para sa kanila habang ikaw, nag-aantay pa rin na mapansin man lang niya. Isang tingin lang.. Isang ngiti lang, okay ka na. Tapos malalaman mo na lang bigla na sila na pala. Syempre masakit ‘yun. Pero kahit papaano, masaya ka na rin para sa taong gusto mo, dahil nakuha na niya ‘yung gusto niya. Ang problema, hindi nga lang ikaw ‘yun. Pero ayos lang, masaya naman siya. Ang hirap lang talaga na ikaw lang ‘yung nagkakagusto sa isang tao na hindi ka naman gusto.

Minsan mahirap din na ikaw ang gusto ng isang tao na hindi mo naman gusto. Mahirap din isipin na may taong nagkakagusto sayo. Pakiramdam mo hindi ka deserving ng ganung klase ng atensyon. Mahirap ang ganitong sitwasyon kasi ang unfair, na masaya ka sa piling ng iba habang nakikita mo siyang patingin-tingin lang sayo sa malayo. Hindi makalapit, hindi mapakali, hindi makatingin nang maayos. Mahirap na ikaw ‘yung gusto ng isang tao na hindi mo naman gusto kasi alam mong nasasaktan siya pero wala ka namang magagawa. Gusto mo siyang ngitian, lapitan at maging kaibigan pero ayaw mo namang ma-misinterpret niya ang mga ginagawa mo. Mahirap ang mapunta sa ganitong posisyon, kasi alam mo kung ano ang pakiramdam nang magkagusto sa isang tao na hindi ka rin naman gusto. Ang mas masakit e ikaw na mismo ‘yung gumagawa nito sa ibang tao. Ang hirap lang talaga na ikaw ‘yung gusto ng taong hindi mo naman gusto.

Minsan ikaw ‘yung may gusto pero hindi ka naman gusto. Minsan din naman ikaw ‘yung gusto pero hindi mo naman gusto. Pero anong magagawa mo diba? Ganun lang talaga ang takbo ng mundo, hindi lahat ng gusto mo mapapasayo.

"You said move on, where do I go?"

Isa ‘yan sa mga lyrics na tumatak sa isip ko. Galing ‘yan sa kanta ni Katy Perry na “Thinking of You”. Anyway, hindi tungkol sa kantang ‘yan ang post na ‘to. It’s about moving on kasi madalas akong nakakatanggap ng mga TA kung paano nga raw ba ito gawin.

Madali lang naman ang pagmo-move on kung tutuusin gugustuhin. Ang pagmo-move on ay isang mahabang proseso na pwedeng paikliin ng paglalandi o sa pagpapakilig ng iba. 

The thing about moving on that makes it so hard to do is not really the person, but the memories you’ve cherished for so long. Mas matagal ang pagsasama, mas marami ang mga alaala. Mga alaalang ngayon ay dapat limutin na. 

Madaling sabihin pero mahirap gawin. Kaya simulan mo muna sa mga simpleng bagay, tulad ng pagbubura ng mga kinaiingatan mong text messages niya, burahin mo na rin ‘yung number niya tutal memorized mo naman kung sakaling i-text mo siya in case of emergency, huwag mo na rin bisitahin ‘yung Facebook niya baka may makita ka lang na lumalandi sa kanyang iba, pero nakakapagselos naman ‘yun, so sige, i-block mo na tutal friends pa naman kayo ng mama niya. Kung palagi naman kayong nagkikita sa skwelahan, umabsent ka ng umabsent hanggang sa ma-kick out ka. Tas dahil na-kick out ka na sa skwelahan, hindi ka na makakapagtapos, hindi na makakahanap ng trabaho, magiging tambay ka lang dahil sa lintek na sakit na nararamdaman mo sa puso mo tuwing makikita mo siya. Diba ang babaw naman nun, kaya mag-isip-isip ka. Pumasok ka, ‘nyeta! Joke lang naman ‘yun kasi diba. Eh ano ngayon kung palagi kayong magkakasalubong? Pwede ka naman tumingin sa iba. Pwede ka naman sumama sa iba. Hindi lang naman kayo dalawa ang nandun, anukaba. The more you fill your head with thoughts of that person, the more your heart aches. Bakit hindi mo subukan palitan ‘yung mga thoughts mo sa kanya ng malalaswa? Este, ng mga thoughts ng iba? Tulad ng mga friends mo, ng mga kapatid mo, ng mga crush mo? Palitan mo na rin ‘yung mga dating alaala niyo ng ex mo ng mga bagong alaala ninyong magbabarkada, etc etc.

Isa rin sa makakatulong sa pagmo-move on ay ang pagre-recall sa dahilan kung bakit hindi na kayo nagsasama. The reason behind the breakup ika-nga. Pag malala at masakit ‘yung dahilan, the better. The better kasi magiging bitter ka sa kanya. Bitterness leads to anger, anger leads to hate. At pag galit ka na at kinamumuhian mo na siya, mas gugustuhin mo na siyang kalimutan. Hindi lang “need” ang paglimot ngayon, kundi “want” na rin. Mas matindi na.

On a lighter note, moving on is simply accepting the fact that the person who once made you their happiness has now found their own happiness in the form of another person.. And that it’s now time for you to find yours. Moving on begins with letting go. Letting go of everything you once had. Letting go of the things that made you smile. Then moving forward and not looking back, not looking back at the old memories and being ready to make new ones. Remember that this life continues whether your heart beats or breaks.

Akala mo lang na pinakawalan mo na ‘yung “the one” mo. Akala mo lang talaga ‘yun. Kasi sabi nga sa “My Amnesia Girl” (oo, pinanuod ko ‘yun.. twice!) na ang true love, iwan mo man ‘yan, babalik at babalik pa rin ‘yan sayo. Hindi man ngayon, pero sa nakatakdang panahon. Hindi ‘yun yung eksaktong sinabi pero you get the thought.

Of course kung hindi ka naman naniniwala sa mga trulab-trulab na ‘yan, uso pa rin naman mamikot.. o manggahasa.

Not a single day passes by without you ever crossing my mind. Thoughts of you keep lingering in my head, the memories that we shared and everything that grew between us. I’ve always thought about the friendship we held and the moments where we laughed together, cried together, and were together. At that point in our lives, we never thought we would fall in love with each other. We saw our intentions and we saw the connection that was gently building up between us. It was unexpected, a love that grew out of us and bound us together to give us something special. I’ve never felt so surprised in my life but I was happy how it turned out. And when it happened, it pushed aside the distance, the pessimistic ideas that it wouldn’t work, that we couldn’t make it work. And every day I wish it stayed that way for a very long time until I could see you… until I could be with you.

But as soon as things came to an end, it was hard to see everything slip right in front of me. To see that everything we’ve built was blown away like dust on top of a surface. It was painful to feel the emotions slowly fade and to feel my heart slowly beating until it could barely do so. But as days passed by, I fully regained who I was, I regained everything I thought I’ve lost forever. And now it’s been a while since I’ve held an actual conversation with you. In so far, I’ve been okay. Not totally fine, just okay.

Looking back, we’ve really changed no matter how much we don’t realize it. Our past helped strengthen us and developed us into something we never thought we’d become. I’m just so glad I was given the chance to meet you, get to know you, and fall in love with you. Without all of this, I never would have realized how much I learned from you and myself. I never thought I would see this other side of me and the changes I’ve made to myself. Everything we’ve been through was a learning process with all the good and bad that went with it. It was truly an experience that no one will ever know but you and me.

So, for all you’ve done and for everything else, I just wanna say thank you. I’m forever grateful and because of that, you will always be in my heart no matter what.

Sino nga ba?

Sino nga ba ang tunay na malungkot?

  • Yung batang hindi binilhan ng Macbook?
  • Yung batang hindi binilhan ng Blackberry o iPhone?
  • Yung batang hindi binilhan ng iPad?
  • Yung batang hindi binilhan ng PS3?
  • Yung batang hindi binilhan ng Wii?
  • Yung batang hindi binilhan ng XBOX?
  • Yung batang hindi binilhan ng iPod Touch?
  • Yung batang hindi nakapasok sa pribadong paaralan?
  • O yung batang hindi man lang nakatikim ni minsan ng kuryente sa kanilang tahanan?

Sino nga ba ang tunay na masaya?

  • Yung batang kompleto sa luho pero kulang ang pamilya sa hapag-kainan?
  • Yung batang ni minsan hindi nagkakalyo ang mga kamay kasi may taga-gawa at mga utusan?
  • Yung batang nakikipagtulungan sa mga magulang para malinis ang tahanan?
  • Yung batang araw-araw nanlilibre para lang dumugin ng mga “kaibigan”?
  • Yung batang madungis na sa kakalaro kasama ang ibang bata?
  • Yung batang hatid-sundo ng driver?
  • Yung batang hatid-sundo ng tatay kahit nilalakad lang ang daan?
  • Yung batang pinagmamayabang ang mga ari-arian ng kanyang mga magulang?
  • O yung batang pinagmamalaki ng kanyang mga magulang?

Isipin mo nga ng mabuti. Sino nga ba?

Ang pagiging kontento ay hindi ibig sabihin ng pagkakaroon ng lahat ng bagay sa mundo. Ang pagiging kontento ay ang pagtanggap sa katotohanang hindi mo kayang akuin ang lahat. Maging masaya ka na lang kahit wala ka ng mga bagay na meron ang ibang tao. Tandaan mong meron ka ring mga bagay na wala sa kanila.. at hanggang pangarap lang sila dito.

I love and hate you, Dad.

I woke up this morning around 5:30AM from a dream. The scenes were vague but the dialogues were still clear in my head — it was my parents’ voices. They were arguing. I got up and sat on my bed.

Everytime I dream of something I always try to remember it and try to figure it out. So there, I sat and pondered. It took awhile until it hit me like a random bullet. The reason why my parents broke up was because of my dad’s insecurities and how he was always jealous of my mom’s officemates. Back when I was a kid, they’d always fight about that but I never really understood what it was. I mean, I was young and what do I know about marriage and stuff. Though it has been years already, I still remember the time when they got into a huge fight. My dad was a bit drunk, mad and jealous. He almost hit my mom. My mom was crying, afraid and defenseless. And I was scared, sad and confused of what was going on that time. I hugged my mom. I hugged her tight. She slept with me in my room that same night.

It was always like that with them, though they tried not to show it whenever I’m around.

Everytime my dad would yell and scold my mom, I cursed him in my head. I always wanted to punch him in the face just to shut him up. I hated him everytime he did that.

Fast forwarding to this very day, they’re no longer together. They never really told me nor my sister why or how it happened. Now, I’m with my mom and my sister’s with my dad. My dad’s engaged to someone else and my mom has no plans in getting married again. How ironic isn’t it? That my dad used to get jealous with other guys before with my mom and now he’s suddenly getting married again. And my mom, which my father has accused several times of being with other guys, has no plans of getting married again cos she still loves my dad. Yeah, srsly. No matter how many times I tease her with other guys, she just won’t bite it.

I promise to myself that I’ll never be like my father when treating my wife when I get married and have a family of my own. I’ll love and respect my wife the way she deserves to be. And if I get jealous or have issues with her, I’ll talk to her nicely. I won’t scold her right away or accuse her of things like my father did. But despite all those bad things I said about my dad (which were true anyway), I still have great respect for the guy. Cos he’s still one of the smartest people I know and he’s still my dad, no matter what he did, does or do.. I still look up to him cos he’s a great man. Yeah, a great man.. just a bad husband to my mom.

Do you ever get that feeling where you’ve been longing to do something? Like you have these ideas planned out in your head and when the time comes you tell yourself you’re going to do it. But in reality, when that time comes you freeze, don’t know what to do, blank out and the chance is gone. Telling yourself there’s always next time, or it’s alright it was stupid anyways. Thoughts are trying to comfort that head of yours about what just happened. Thinking of all the possibilities and outcomes if you did do it. These are actually the moments and chances that should have been taken. For better or worse, what’s there to lose really? We all make fools of ourselves some point in our lives more than others. The point is, you went for it and didn’t step back to let it pass you by. That’s the thing about life, too — things pass us by and if you want something to stay, then you have to make an effort and hold on to it. We never really know when we’ll get that same chance again. Just think of them as opportunities which can lead to so much more. For some it’s not quite that easy as we have our comfort zones and, well, there’s nothing wrong with that. Just imagine how many doors will be open and possibilities there are. Even if you grasp that opportunity and it ends up in failure, doesn’t mean you should give up.. instead you should learn from it and move on.

Sa pag-ibig..

Kapag may nagkulang, sa halip na ikagalit mo, bakit hindi mo subukang punuan?

Kapag may sumobra naman, sa halip na i-take for granted mo, bakit hindi mo subukan suklian?

Kapag sakto lang, sa halip na maging kampante ka, bakit hindi mo subukan pagtibayin ang inyong samahan?

Kapag may simingit na iba, sa halip na patulan mo, bakit hindi mo subukan layuan?

Kapag may mahal (na) siyang iba, sa halip na akitin mo, bakit hindi mo subukan maging masaya para sa kanya?

Kapag hindi mo kaya maging masaya para sa kanya, sa halip na magmukmok at malungkot ka, bakit hindi mo subukan mag-isip na maghihiwalay din sila may ibang taong nakalaan para sayo?

Kapag masyadong matagal dumating ‘yung “the one” mo, sa halip na ma-inggit ka sa mga taken, bakit hindi ka na muna magpakasaya sa pagiging single mo?

Kapag torpe siya, sa halip sa magpakipot ka, bakit hindi mo subukan na ikaw na lang ‘yung mauna?

Kapag siya naman ‘yung nauna, sa halip na magpakipot ka pa, bakit hindi mo subukan na huwag na siyang pahirapan pa?

Kapag naging kayo na, sa halip na ibuhos niyo lahat ng pagmamahal niyo para sa isa’t isa, bakit hindi niyo subukan magpasintabi ng kaunti para kung sakali man e matapos ‘yang lahat meron pang matira?

Kapag iniwan ka ng taong mahal mo, sa halip na maging brokenhearted ka, bakit hindi mo subukan tanggapin ang katotohanang wala na siya?

Kapag nahihirapan kang magmove on, sa halip na manggamit ka ng iba, bakit hindi mo subukan ilagay ang sarili mo sa posisyon nila? 

Masakit hindi ba? Kaya nga mag-isip-isip ka muna bago ka pumasok sa mga sitwasyong ganyan.. mga sitwasyong hindi tiyak ang kahihinatnan.

GM

Nakakabadtrip talaga ang mga GM ngayon. Sa aking pagkakaintindi, ‘yang “send to many” feature na ‘yan ng mga cellphone ay para sa importanteng mga bagay lamang. Ngayon, puro walang kwenta na ang sinesend ng mga tao.

  "OMG. I’m so gutom na talaga. Text?"

Eh kung gutom ka na pala, bakit di ka muna kumain at ipagpaliban na muna ‘yang pagpindot ng keypad?

Meron ding mga GM na halos lahat ng tao sa phonebook niya minention na niya sa iisang text.

  Good morning guys!

Ate: Anong ulam?

Kuya: Paloadan mo nga ako.

Yaya: Teh, pagtimpla mo ako ng juice please.

BFF: Bes! si crush nakita ko kanina! OMG. :”“”“>

Crush: Nakita kita kanina. Hihi

Classmate: Uy, pakopya naman ng homework sa Math.

Text? :D

Kung nakuha mong i-type ang mga mensahe mo sa kanila, bakit di mo nakuhang i-send ‘yun ng isa-isa? Hindi ‘yung pinapaalam mo sa lahat ng tao ‘yung mga pinag-uusapan niyo. Sa tingin ko, katamaran lang naman ‘yan eh.

Hindi naman sa inaano ko kayo. Opinyon ko lang naman ito.

Take my advice. I don't use it anyway.

Sa panahon ngayon halos lahat nag-aasam na maligo sa pera — ang yumaman. Hindi naman masamang mangarap diba? Hindi rin masamang hilingin na sana hindi ka na mamomroblema kung may sasaingin pa ba kinabukasan, sa susunod na bukas, sa susunod pa na bukas; kung may maipanglolaod pa ba sa cellphone para makapag-unlitext at unlicall; kung may ipangpupusta sa Dota; kung may ipangbabayad sa lumulobong bill ng internet.

Ikaw, gusto mo rin yumaman noh? Yung tipong mabilisan — parang instant noodles.

Tips Para Yumaman:

  • Pagtaya sa lotto. Kung instant lang ang pag-uusapan, isa ito sa pinaka-effective na paraan. Imagine mo, sa P20 makakabili ka na ng Cornetto maari ka nang maging milyonaryo! Yun nga lang dapat tumpak yung anim mong inaalagaang numero.
  • Pagsali sa pacontest sa telebisyon. Syempre kung sasali ka na rin lang dapat siguraduhin mong dun sa bigtime mamigay ng papremyo. Dun sa Eat Bulaga! Happy, Yipee, Yehey! Willing Willie. Dun ka sumali. Konting iyak lang at konting drama sa buhay tapos konting sayaw/kanta — may pera ka na! Tsaka i-timing mo na pagsumali ka dapat may “event”, yun bang birthday ng isang host o anniversary ng show kasi usually dyan sila namimigay talaga ng maraming pera.
  • Pagiging boksingero.  Gusto mong gumaling mag-English at mag-endorse ng Vit Water kagaya ni Manny? Edi magboksingero ka na! Sa una papanget ka kasi syempre magugulpi ka’t lahat lahat pero bawing bawi naman yan pag napatumba mo yung unggoy na kalaban mo. Si Manny nga pumogi na (thank you Belo), ubod ng yaman pa!

Pero kung gusto mo namang kumita ng perang pinaghirapan talaga, ano pang inaantay mo? Mag-apply ka na dito:

  • P5000/hr, Enchanted Kingdom → taga-tulak ng Anchor’s Away.
  • P7000/day, Palengke → taga-lista ng noisy.
  • P800/min, Star City → taga-hila ng Roller Coaster.
  • P900/min, Quezon Avenue → ikaw yung humps.
  • P5000/hr, PLDT → ikaw yung dial tone.
  • P9000/hr, Post Office → taga-dila ng mga sobre.

Kung hindi ka pa rin makapagdecide at mas pipiliin mo na lang magnegosyo, may tips pa rin ako sayo. So don’t worry. Siguradong yayaman ka sa mga negosyong ito:

  • Magtinda ng mainit na kape, kakanin at bibingka sa North Pole.
  • Magtinda ng whitening soap sa Africa.

Ano pang inuupo mo dyan? Tumayo ka na and take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.

Ano ang isang QUALITY BLOG?

Itong tanong na ‘to napulot ko lang sa isang post dun sa group page ng Tumblr Pilipinas. Actually sobrang tagal na nitong gumugulo sa isipan ko. Wala kasing maayos na sumagot ng tanong sa post na yun, at wala rin akong maisip na isagot nun. Pero ngayon parang alam ko na. Take note, “parang” lang.

QUALITY BLOG

1. Ito ang blog kong saan may mapupulot ka — walang kwenta man o hindi. Yun bang mayroong mga post na may makukuha kang aral o di kaya’y mga pasimpleng banat para sa supermegaultramagnetic mong crush. Hindi yung blog na ang lahat ng post e ginaya lang o kinopya sa internet. Yun bang yung author mismo nag-isip ng mga pinopost nya.

2. Ito yung blog na pinapangatawanan ang kanyang kategorya o ang purpose ng blogger sa kanyang pagbablog. Diba ang weird naman kung ang purpose ng blogger e magpasaya at mag-entertain ng kanyang mga readers/followers tapos magpopost sya ng ka-emohan? Hindi ko naman sinasabing karumaldumal yun at hindi pwedeng gawin, ang sakin lang e parang may mali yata dun, diba? Tapos kung ang purpose ng blogger e gawing mala-diary ang kanyang blog, sana naman sa bawat post nya may i-incorporate syang mga aral na napulot base dun sa kanyang personal na experience. O maskin anecdote man lang na magpapatawa o magpapaisip sa kanyang mga mambabasa. Kasi kung puro tungkol sa sarili lang ang laman ng mga post mo, madaling magsasawa ang mga followers mo. Tapos magrereklamo ka kung bakit konti lang ang notes o kung bakit konti lang ang pumapansin sa personal post mong pagkahaba-haba na mala-nobela kesa dun sa ONLINE CHECK mong laging binabaha ng notes. Kahit ang isang tumblog na puro reblogs lang ang laman e pwede maging quality blog, basta may napupulot ka dito o nag-eenjoy ka. (read number 1)

3. Ito ang blog na kung saan mas maganda pa ang contents kesa sa itsura ng blog mismo. Aanhin mo naman ang magandang blog na kompleto nga sa banner, epal na bibe, maingay na BGM, naghuhubad na GIF at kumikinang na mga imahe, kung ang mga post naman ay walang sense?

Kung hindi man pumasok sa “standards” ang blog mo, ayslang. Lahat naman ng nabanggit ko sa itaas ay pawang pauso ko lamang.

Da end.

"Idol!"

Dati walang tumatawag sa akin niyan hanggang sa mag Tumblr ako and that’s when it all changed. People suddenly started calling me “idol” or “kuya idol” but every time they do, I tell them off. Hahaha. No, not really. Sinasabi ko lang sa kanila na tawagin akong “Jepoy” instead of that. Hindi naman sa hindi ko gusto o ano. In fact, nakaka-flatter nga. Pero I guess, hindi lang talaga ako sanay. Tsaka tingin ko rin I still have a lot to prove to be called such.

Ano bang kahalagahan ng salitang “idol”? Well, everything — kung alam mo ang tunay na kahulugan nito.

So, what does it really mean?

  • Ayon sa Merriam-Webster: it is a representation or symbol of an object of worship; broadly a false god.

Edi ang pagtawag pala sa isang tao na “idol” ay parang pagconsider na rin sa taong ‘yun bilang representation ng isang bagay na iyong wino-“worship.”

  • Pero here’s a more communal definition and a less lexical one: it is that something or someone which you revere or look up to as a model; that someone whom you treat as the nearest entity to the sense of perfection. (taray!)

Ang matawag na ganun ay nakakataba ng puso. Ang matawag na ganun ay isang malaking karangalan. Ngunit kalakip ng kapangyarihang ‘yan ay responsibilidad. (“With great power comes great responsibility” or so says a line from a movie.) To be an “idol” demands a lot of expectation from people, especially your followers and those who labeled you as such. Dahil diyan, minsan mapipilitan ka na lang ibigay ‘yung hiniling nila, minsan mapipilitan ka na lang i-push ‘yung limits ng makakaya mo to keep them satisfied.

Kaya nga isa ‘yan sa mga dahilan kung bakit mas pipiliin ko na lang na tawagin akong “Jepoy” kesa sa “idol.” Less pressure para sa akin ‘yun. Hindi ako mag-aalala kung hindi man maganda ‘yung naipost ko kesa sa dati, hindi ako mababaliw kakaisip ng mga topic na pwedeng isulat. Ayoko maging “magaling” na blogger AGAD, mas gugustuhin ko maging isang simpleng blogger muna na nagsisikap pang gumaling, kasi alam kong marami pa akong kelangan i-improve sa aking pagba-blog. Gusto ko masabi sa sarili ko balang araw, pag confident na ako sa sarili kong kakayahan, na “I deserve this.”

On a side note, kahit ilang beses ko man silang pagsabihan na “Jepoy” na lang at wag akong idolohin or whatever, may mga taong makukulit pa rin na kini-claim na “taga-hanga” ko sila. Actually, ginawan nila ako ng fan page sa Facebook. Nung una biruan lang ‘yun hanggang sa ginawa nga nila. Naknampusangblue. “Jepoholics" daw sila. Ambantot! HAHAHA! In fairness naman kina misplacednameiamliahonaparacraze at immabe-chic may mga nauto a silang iilan dun sa page na ‘yun. Hahaha. Sila daw ‘yung tatlong angels ko. :)) Nakakatawa at nakakatuwa sila at the same time. They make me feel so special like na special child. <3

"URL"

Kadalasan, sa URL pa lang ay makikita mo na kung gaano ka-creative ang isang blogger. Minsan, dito mo rin malalaman ang kanyang personalidad o ang kanyang kinahihiligan.

Gaano ba ka-importante ang URL?

Well, sobrang importante nito. Lalo na kung gusto ng blogger na madali siyang matandaan ng kanyang mga mambabasa. Minsan isa rin ito sa mga dahilan para maging kilala ka dito sa mundo ng blogging. Usually ang mga sumisikat dito ay ‘yung may mga nakakaagaw-pansin ang URL — ‘yung tipong sa unang basa pa lang ay macu-curios na sila sa’yo at/o sa blog mo.

Speaking of catchy URLs?

Sa tingin ko, dapat..

  • iwasan nang gumamit ng mga common URLs, tulad ng “akosiTOOOOT” or something like that
  • kung taken na rin ‘yung URL na gusto mo, maghanap ka ng panibago, hindi ‘yung pinipilit mo pa rin

image

Tsaka ano.. isang tip din para sa inyo: Kung balak niyong magdeactivate pero gusto niyong i-reserve ang URL niyong ‘yan for future use (just in case gusto niyo ulit bumalik sa mundo ng Tumblr), better change your current URL to something else tapos magdeactivate kayo. Kasi once nagdeactivate ka ng Tumblr account, ‘yang URL mo ay hindi mo na muling magagamit. Tingin ko rin hindi na pwedeng magamit ng ibang users. Kung ako sayo, gumawa ka na lang muna ng isang dummy account for that URL.


Huwag mong hahayaang hilahin ka ng ibang tao pababa. Lahat tayo naiinsecure minsan. Yung iba mas malala sa ibang tao. Yung iba nagkukunwaring mas magaling at mas angat sa kapwa.

Tao lang tayong lahat. May kanya-kanya tayong hindi maipaliwanag na saloobin. Lahat tayo nalilito, lahat tayo natatakot. Pero kahit ganyan, lahat tayo ay may angking kagandahan, lahat tayo may puso, may kakayahang magpatawad, maging malikhain at kung anu-ano pa.

Iba man ang tingin ng lipunan, tandaan mong may halaga ang bawat isa — may halaga ang buhay mo. At kung may sasalungat man dito, nasisiguro kong mas insecure siya sayo.

Because you're that person.

I love you. I always have, and always will.

You are the one who can give me butterflies in my stomach, no matter how long it’s been since the last time I saw you. You are the one whose smile can make me drop down on my knees and weaken me defenselessly. When I see you, all I can hear is the sound of my heart breaking again into a billion pieces knowing we can no longer be together.

You’re the one I thought to be “the one”, but you’re not. And it’s gonna take me a very long time to realize that and let it sink in. You’re the one I used to revolve my life around with, and you’re the one who still makes me wonder if I still have the chance to do that. You’re the one who makes me think about what I should have done, or what would have happened if I did this.. or if I hadn’t done that. And I’ll keep on wondering for weeks, months, perhaps even years. You’re the one I thought who wouldn’t even become part of my life but you did, and so did I in yours. Sadly, things have clearly changed now. Because you’re still a big part of me but I am now just a mere memory to you.

You’re the one who will give me bittersweet memories whenever I see you. A million what-ifs that’s going to drive me crazy. I may try to fix things with you but you’ll always keep leaving. Because that’s what you do. That’s what you’re meant to do — to leave. But I’ll miss you like crazy, I’ll do anything to be with you again, but I won’t get the chance. I’ll try to grasp your presence, but all I’ll get are memories from the past.

If I can’t meet someone that can bury the memories of you, you would always stay in me, in my deepest heart and mind, so deep that I wouldn’t consciously notice you’re there. And if I still couldn’t accept the fact that you’re gone, if I still couldn’t make my peace with your leaving, your ghost will haunt my mind forever. Because to me you’re that person..

You’re the one that got away. 

Loving someone means accepting them for who they are and for who they are not. It’s about recognizing them in their own uniqueness and not limiting them with whatever they can do. Because if you try to change someone and make them who you want them to be, to conform to what it is that’s convenient for you in the relationship, well, that’s not love anymore. That’s possession.

Love is not about what you’re going to get in return for the things you give from the bottom of your heart, because love is never selfish. It’s not thinking about oneself but rather the care for the other.

To love is to give, give and give unconditionally.

To love is to appreciate them without owning them or setting up boundaries.

To love is to forgive and to let them have another chance to learn from their mistakes.

To love is to forget all that’s bad and remember what’s good, what’s worth it and what’s worth fighting for.

To love is to let go. Not to let go in the way that you’d let them walk out of your life, but to let go of them just a little, to let them spread their wings and fly and hoping they’d come back. Because why cage a bird when the beauty is in seeing it soar high?

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