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The Hobbit/Bilbo & Mulan Parallels

Has anyone else noticed this or am I just crazy? But come on!

  • Funny expressions/Personality
  • Impressing the guy 
  • Going up against the enemy head-on
  • Dealing with horribly-mannered company
  • Having complete trust of Leader
  • Betraying said Leader (for greater good though and gaining it back)
  • Finding their true self/courage
  • Moment of defeat/missing Home
  • Someone small/unexpected is the Hero
  • An improbable helper (ie: Mushu & The Ring)
  • Let’s not forget Alrid/Chu Fu parallels!
  • AND LET’S NOT FORGET THE BLOODY DOLLS!
Weird middle earth nail varnish headcanon???

I am really tired, so this may be rubbish, but trans woman!Bilbo settles in Erebor and begins to wear more feminine clothing, though all as Hobbit styled as she can find in Erebor, including painting her nails. She sees this as a very gendered activity because only Hobbit women do it in the Shire, only hobbits know the right mix of things to make it, maybe? So other races haven’t come into contact with this practice?

So its totally new to the Dwarves and they really like it, but don’t see it as something just women should do, to them its another way of self expression, which with their hair and everything they are very into. Soon there is basically a competition among all the dwarves that is basically nail art wars. I imagine adding gems would be the first thing, the more lavish the better, but still short nails for practical work, maybe? Or nail art that depicts their status/career. Rivals trying to outdo each other in new ideas/formulations/additions. Someone somehow manages to add braided details on them maybe with gold wires? Just ridiculous and so wonderfully dwarvish additions.

All the while Bilbo is just very unsteadily learning to paint flowers on hers and when she gets good and wears a set of beautiful plants painted on her fingers, that becomes the new craze because everyone wants to follow the Consort under the Mountain. People start adding actually flowers, some fresh or pressed, just explosions of colours too. On feast days when people aren’t working, but want to show off there are at first some amazing, unpractical set ups with rubies almost as big as the dwarves’ fist, someone has freaking candles on theirs, tiny sculptures, idk just ott and then they try to eat and realise hmm maybe we went too far? Naaaaah.

Just imagine Thorin with Durin blue nail polish with very tasteful (for a Dwarf ;P) gems on them. Maybe this is space for my genderfluid!Thorin having some bonding with his consort painting each others nails and soppily adding runes of protection and flowers that mean ever lasting love on their spouse’s nails. You know, cuties being cuties.:D

Please consider: a Bagginshield Sound of Music AU 

Bilbo is a young, slightly subversive teacher in 1930s Austria. 

Gandalf, an old family friend, sets him up with a slightly less…public post as tutor to the nephews of a retired army captain. 

Captain Thorin Durin is sent a new governess for his legion of orphaned nephews (what kind of name is ‘Bilbo’ anyway?) only to find out said governess is in fact a man. 

Bilbo finds himself in charge of ELEVEN children (somehow Gandalf neglected to mention the number). Butler and general keeps-everything-from-going-tits-up person, Balin, jokingly refers to as 'the Company’. 

A ridiculous contract ('INCINERATION?’ 'There was an…incident with a previous governess.’) and several pranks later (a tarantula in his bed - where did they even get a tarantula?) and Bilbo settles in with the children. 

Of course he constantly buts heads with Thorin over the children’s teaching. Seriously this man is so STUBBORN. 

Thorin is just frustrated and a little baffled by this argumentative little man who comes in and takes over his house. After one particularly bad argument, he nearly fires him. Then, then he sees the way he has with all the children, the rapport he has built with each of them, and he relents. 

Gradually, they grow to tolerate one another and definitely do not fall in love (kidding, these idiots are head over heels for each other). 

 Both come to this realisation dancing together at a ball (oh goodness, that dance scene). 

After a minor understanding involving a rumoured engagement between Thorin and a rich duchess (in which Bilbo leaves, but at the behest of the children comes back) and leaving Austria after the Anschluss, they all live happily ever after. 

The end.