big-steps

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One big step in working to manage my dysphoria was learning to exist without a shirt on. A few years ago I adopted the idea that I would work to live a life in line with everything that I had always told myself I would do post-op, or once I had achieved some nebulous level of comfort on T. I choose to go shirtless for a variety of reasons now, though most are rooted in comfort and practicality. Although I still deal with my own issues with my chest, I no longer suffer any shame for the fact that I have breasts.

It’s a good place to be, and I’m constantly improving as I strive to live a life as free from societal/patriarchal constraints as possible.

anonymous asked:

Since you're genderfluid what genders do you change between? Like do you change between nonbinary and male/female? Any other types of gender? Just curious! (you definitely don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable in any way.) oh and do you have any recent art you might want to show us?? Maybe??

yea, I’m okay with sharing that right now. I normally fluctuate between being nonbinary and just no gender at, but there are a lot of days where I would most closely say I’m bigender? And I have more feminine days too but it is very infrequent that I would call myself a girl. I am a demigirl sometimes. But for a very long time I just identified as nonbinary, and completely tried to separate myself from my femininity because I didn’t want people to question my gender, particularly on my girl days, but I think I’ve gotten to a point where I’m okayish now. Which is a very big step for me. A lot of time’s I pretty much a demiboy too. And sometimes I just don’t know tbh and no label really fits. But for the most part I just don’t have any gender at all. 

 and for anyone who doesn’t already know here is what genderfluid means, here is is the best definition I’ve come across/the one that fits me the best.

 “It is a nonbinary gender that is kind of like floating through the ENTIRE gender spectrum. It means on some days you could feel more feminine, on some days you could feel more masculine, and on other days you could feel nothing defining at all or even in between.” -youranimeprince

so basically, it is when someone can identify as male, as female, as any other gender, or as any lack of gender, depending on the day or situation and just how they feel. It floats along the entire gender spectrum, like a little dot that you can move around the color thingy on photoshop.

and oh my goodness i made a little bunny comic lemme take a picture of it and post it rn 

So Pride Month is coming up.

In the U.S. ,June is usually recognized as Pride Month. 

This is the first year that I will be participating in Pride Month after coming out to my immediate family. My goal is to pin a Bi Pride ribbon to my purse, which doesn’t seem like much but I don’t live in the most accepting area so this is a big step for me. 

And recently I’ve seen a lot of posts saying more or less that bisexuals aren’t welcome at Pride, because we have straight passing privilege and that Pride isn’t for us. 

Well I only have one thing to say to those people: 

It’s called LGBT PRIDE. B is for bisexual. 

If you are bisexual, lesbian, gay, transgender, basically anything but 100% heterosexual, heteroromantic, and cisgender you ARE welcome at Pride. 

And if anyone tells you differently, you have my blessing to tear them to shreds. Or, if they’re on Tumblr, I’ll do it for you. 

youtube

Didn’t know the full extent of Ian Miles Cheong’s apology and the effort he put into making peace until I saw this. I can respect that and I can accept an honest and sincere apology like that.

I’m not about to forget what he did or the things he said. I’m definitely not going to endorse his site or offer him any additional attention, but if he wants to remove himself from this and admit fault, then there’s no reason to give him any grief over that.

Also, when I talk about needing to get some perspective, this is exactly what I mean. Really taking a big step back and examining your own actions. Realizing that what you might see as a righteous purpose and doing good in the world might just be selectively picking targets to be an asshole to.

A Big Step

The fresh afternoon air and the warm sun was perfect, in fact, the entire had felt like a blessing. Joseph felt like it’d been years since he was able to take a deep breath of fresh air without having a weight on his shoulders. Things were good now. He wouldn’t say amazing or back to normal, but they were good. Nightmares were rare and Sebastian picking up a smoke was even rarer. “I’m proud of you Seb.” He said as they sat in the part at a bench under a large tree. “Nearly two months now without a cigarette.”
Sebastian nodded with his arms cross and head on the back of the bench. “Proud of myself too.”
Joseph pat his thigh before returning to the book he’d brought to read. When Sebastian suggested the park, Joseph knew that meant the man was opting for a nap out in the fresh air but how Sebastian could sleep on these benches was beyond him. “I was thinking we just get take out for dinner.” Joseph said as he flipped the page.
“Mm.”
“Any ideas what to get?”
“Mm.”
“Seb.”
“Sure.”
Joseph rolled his eyes, turning to face Sebastian to actually get an answer out of him when he found Sebastian’s eyes weren’t on him but on something else. He followed his partners gaze to the park not far off and instantly, Joseph saw what Sebastian was so intent on. A young girl playing in the sand with her father. “Sebastian-”
“Hey, let’s find somewhere else to sit.” He said as he got up.
Joseph watched him leave before shoving his book back into his shoulder bag and following his partner. “Sebastian, I-”
“Let’s just get Chinese like normal.” He shrugged, fishing in his pocket to pull out his keys. “You drive?”
“But, don’t you want to stay a little longer?”
“Nah. Too hot.” He tossed Joseph the keys, leaving him alone as he went towards the car.
Joseph fumbled a moment to catch the silver item, frowning after Sebastian when he did. They didn’t talk much about what happened before STEM anymore but Joseph didn’t need words to still see his partner ached to have his daughter back in his life. “Finally.” Sebastian chuckled when Joseph finally arrived at the car. “So, dinner?”
“This early in the day?”
“Yeah, why not? Our day off and if we want dinner early we can.”
Joseph rounded the car to the driver’s side, unlocking both doors as he slid into the driver’s seat. “Alright.” He looked into the rearview mirror, always frowning at the small bandage that continued to cover the stiches over his right eyebrow.  They were to be taken out soon but since the laceration concerned the doctors, they kept them in longer then Joseph wanted. “Hey Glasses, we goin’?”
“Oh, yes.”

Slowly, over the next couple weeks, Joseph actually noticed something he hadn’t seen before in Sebastian’s eyes when he’d see a father and daughter together. He’d noticed the jealously, the anger and the want, but, until now, he’d always missed the thoughtful expression on Sebastian’s face, like he was considering something. What that was, Joseph didn’t know but he was eager to find out. “Gotta stay late t’night?” Sebastian asked as he pulled his new coat from the back of his chair as his trench coat was still missing.
“I don’t have too but I want to finish up these files before the weekend.”
“You don’t want me to stay?”
“No, go home. You look tired anyway.”
“You sure?”
“Positive.” He offered a smile. When Sebastian shrugged and gave him a wet kiss on the cheek before leaving, Joseph slid from his desk and walked to his partners. He did feel a little guilty about snooping but Sebastian was keeping something from him and yes, he could have, should have asked but Sebastian would dart around the question like he’d done before. This way just felt…easier, even if it wasn’t necessarily right.
He first checked the three drawers and when he came up empty there, he pulled open the cabinet on the other side of the desk. On the top shelf he still found nothing but when he came to the bottom shelf, he instantly regretted looking through his partners things. Nearly shaking, he pulled out a traditional velvety black box. If this was what he believed he knew it was, he opened the box expecting to find a ring but instead, it was empty. There was a place for a ring but nothing else. “Sebastian?”
“Oda? Castellanos?”
Joseph jumped at the sudden voice, dropping the box to pop up from the kneeling position behind Sebastian desk. “Ah, evening Chief.”
The woman blinked with a cocked eyebrow. “What were you doing back there?”
“Nothing! Sebastian told he forgot something in his desk and I was grabbing it for him.”
The Chief blinked then again before losing her intense eyes. “Alright. Anyway, you’re going to be the last one in the building so lock up when you leave, will you?”
“Yes ma’am.”
He breathed out when she left, still a little confused by the empty box. He picked it up and returned it its proper place before doing as he told Sebastian he would, finishing up the files. When it was done, he organized his desk, flicked off the light and left, locking up like he was told to do. Luckily when moving in with Sebastian, home wasn’t that far away so walking home was always his ideal way of getting there, even if it was dark out.
The door opened and closed with a quiet click while Joseph removed his shoes, both wanting answers and to sleep, preferably the former first thought. “Sebastian?!” he called into the house as he moved to the living room. About to call out again, he found a red piece of paper sitting on the cushion where he normally sat on the couch. “Your sexy prince is waiting for his gorgeous partner to meet him in the love dungeon? Oh, God.” Joseph groaned but still smiled. “You have a way with words Seb.” He said with a shake of his head. Following the words of the note, Joseph made his way towards the bedroom and while he was expecting everything to be dressed up in red with rose petals decorating the room, there was nothing but the plain old room.
“Hello honey.”
Joseph jumped when Sebastian covered his eyes. “Seb, what are you doing?”
“I said come to the love dungeon, didn’t I?”
“This is the…oh, love dungeon, right?”
“Correct.” He kissed up Joseph’s neck to his ear, allowing his tongue to run along the shell of it. “You trust me?”
“Of course.”
“Then I want you to get naked and lay face down on the bed.”
Sebastian pulled away but Joseph could still feel his eyes as he stripped down. He shivered under Sebastian’s gaze when he was now fully naked, following the last order to lie on the bed stomach down, pillowing his cheek on his arm. He lay there for what felt like hours until Sebastian’s warm hands landed on his back. “Don’t fall asleep, alright?”
“Ah…okay.” Joseph sighed while Sebastian continued the massage on his back.
Sebastian focused there for a while until jumping to his legs, working his way back up his legs then jumping to his shoulders, up his arms, his hands and suddenly, he felt something cool around his finger. Forcing his reluctant eyes back open, it took him a moment to recognize the ring around his finger. When he did, he blinked multiple times before rolling over into Sebastian and kissing him. “Is this…what I think you’re asking?”
“Yeah, it is.” He wrapped Joseph in a hug. “Will you marry me?”
Joseph nodded, kissing him again. “I will Seb.” He sighed, relaxing in Sebastian’s arms. “I love you.”
“Love you too.” Joseph was content to fall asleep in Sebastian’s arms. “I feel almost too old to be getting married.”
“So do I Glasses.”
Joseph sighed then pushed back enough to slip under the covers, Sebastian joining him. “You’re too old of a lot of things.” Joseph smirked.
“Yeah, sure I am.” Sebastian ruffled his hair. “Sleep. I’m gonna make us a big breakfast in the mornin’ to celebrate.”
“Mm, I can’t wait.” With another kiss, Joseph lay his head to Sebastian’s chest, feeling protected with Sebastian’s arms tight around him and loved with the silver band around his finger.


I felt like writing something kind of happy and this popped out. Here you go!

anonymous asked:

hello. I'm a Muslim and I've been having romantic feelings for a person of the same gender. I think I about that person often. I don't know what to do? I want to stop this because I know it's haram. I'm afraid I might act on it one day. can you help me?

Salaam. 

Here the thing, feeling desire for the same sex attraction isn’t haram, acting upon it is a sin. However, if the desire is elevating and you’re afraid you may eventually act upon it, leading you to  sin then you should stay clear of it. On another note, as it may apply for getting over anyone in general, its easier said than done, but try staying clear of their path or anything that reminds you of them, for your own good. Occupy yourself, don’t even give them the time of day to enter your thoughts. Work on yourself and your relationship with Allah. Taking the big step in understanding that this is haram and initiating to stop this is a great deal and I applaud you, not many of us have the strength to stay away from a desire for the sake of Allah. May He make it easy on you.  (If anyone wants to add on to this, your more than welcome)

Fuckin hockey, ammiright??? Literally everybody on the Hawks should be first star. This whole team just stepped up big time and made all the changes they needed to in order to keep their playoff dreams alive.

shadow-illusions asked:

Dude... I'm getting glasses... I don't know why, but I felt like telling someone, and you were my first friend that I thought I should tell.

OMG SHE TOLD ME FIRST
SHES GETTINF GLASSES
KRIS
THIS IS A BIG STEP
SHE TOLD ME F I R S T
THIS MARRIAGE IS REAL
THANK U FOR PRIORITIZING ME
ULL LOOK GR8
U ALREADY DO
BUT U WILL IN GLASSES 2
U ALWAYS DO
LOVE U

as mentioned previously, the boys met yesterday. [!!!]

my guy and i had a long conversation after the cope concert last week about our relationship & where things were going, and by the end of our talk he made it clear he was ready to take the next step and meet rhyan.

[back-story on the basketball: after seeing rhyan’s old/worn out one in my car, he commented on how he needed a new/legit/official one]

so i shouldn’t have been surprised when he showed up at our door yesterday with a shiny new ball in hand. introductions were made, we settled in to watch the acc championship and made small talk during the commercials. it was apparent from the start, there’d be no issue with their getting along … they immediately bonded over all things manly & guy-related.

after the game, we hit the basketball court to break in the new ball & show off our skills with the old one. we laughed, we poked fun at one another, and quickly eased into the groove. at one point, rhyan gave me a quick thumbs-up and whispered ‘he’s alright!’ [and yes, i melted]

we returned home to the smell of corn beef roasting in the oven, i put the meal together and we dove in. rhyan later commented on how strange it was to have a third person at the table, which was true … it’s always just been him and i. after dinner we stuffed ourselves with cheesecake and caught up on some dvr’d shows before saying our goodbyes.

i walked him to the car and thanked him for such an incredible day, and he quickly turned the tables – saying it was his absolute pleasure.

and in that moment, all was right in the world.