So some of you may know, Kyle of beautifullyrecover-ed has decided to close that blog. She wants to close that chapter of her life and move on with a new one, free of her eating disorder and her past. I really respect and admire Kyle’s decision to do what’s best for her and I hope you feel the same way. She will be active on her new blog, love-peace-andyoga.

Thus, as she is leaving the recovery/inspirational community, I wanted to do something to show our appreciation for her. So this is how it will work: I’ll start, and then you guys can reblog and add on what you appreciate about Kyle and what she has done for you. (*hint: y’all should do it) I’ll start:

Kyle, you have inspired me so, so much. I can’t even begin to tell you how much of a world of difference it makes for me to have a friend who is solid in her recovery, who can say “I recovered.” I admire you so much. I think you’re an amazing woman who is strong and capable of great things, and I know you are ready for the next chapter of your life, whatever that may entail. Wishing you the best, love <3

Ok go you guys!

30 Day Recovery Challenge - Day 22

Day 22 - Favorite quotes to live by?

Oh, so many! Let’s see…

"Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire, called conscience." - George Washington

"Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you." - Hafez

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow." - (random)

"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." - (random)

"Caring for myself is an act of survival." - Audre Lorde

"Feminism is the radical notion that women are people." - Cheris Kramarae and Paula Treichler

There are like a million more but those are some off the top of my head. :)

TAG!

You know the drill but. I answer 11 questions than tag some other people to answer 11 questions I create.

Thanks for tagging me Eva!

My questions:

  1. Have you ever met up with anyone from tumblr? No. Well except for my friend Joelle who I met IRL at University.
  2. How do you feel about new years resolutions? This year I haven’t really made any. I just want to take it day-day now. Right now Resolutions just feel like extra pressure.
  3. What do you want to do as a career? Teach at a university or work in publishing.
  4. Where would you like to travel? First on my list is the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.
  5. What is one thing you could not live without? Books.
  6. Do you have any nickname? How did they come to be? Sort of. My full name is Sandra but everyone calls me Sandy.
  7. Do you prefer white wine or red wine?  I don’t really like wine but white, 
  8. What is your favourite flower?
  9. Have you ever met a celebrity? If so who, and how? No. 
  10. Have you ever dyed your hair? If so, what did you have done? No. I have virgin hair.
  11. What is the worst hair cut you have ever had? When I was little I kept getting patches shaved off for medical procedures so probably the patchy short hair look.

My Questions:

1. What is the favourite trip you’ve taken?

2. What TV shows are you currently watching?

3. Favourite youtuber(s)?

4. What are you currently reading?

5. Do you have (or want) any pets?

6. Favourite hot drink? 

7. What is your favourite part of your appearance?

8. What is your favourite part of your personality?

9. Favourite mythical creature? Why?

10. Do you like lighting candles? What scents do you like?

11. Do you mostly print or write in cursive?

Please tag me so I can see your answers ♥

Tagged

Note; I will not be tagging anyone today but just answering the questions because I am limited on time and lazy.

Tagged by beautifullyrecover-ed

RULES:

1.) Always post the rules.

2.) Answer the questions set for you.

3.) Write 11 new questions for people to answer.

4.) Tag 11 people and let them know they have been tagged.

Questions for me:

  1. Do you have any siblings? I have two step-brothers but the last time I saw them I was very young.
  2. How is your relationship with your parents? My father and I don’t really talk that often, although I want to try and start building a relationship with him. And my mother and I have also have had a rocky relationship.
  3. When was the last time you did something illegal? Last week
  4. Coffee or tea? It depends. Usually it’s tea to calm me down but on a school morning or when I have to go to ambulance at 7am on a Saturday I’d pick coffee.
  5. What is your favorite sports team? I don’t really follow sports that much. But probably Yankees, Giants, and Michigan (for college football). 
  6. What’s your favorite cell phone app? Minion Run….I’m addicted to it!
  7. If you had to have a crazy color of hair, what would it be? Well I’ve been really red before and loved it, so probably either that or purple.
  8. Who is your favorite comedian? Jeff Dunham
  9. What movie/TV character reminds you of yourself? Meredith Grey/Lexi Grey from Grey’s Anatomy I guess.
  10. What color of pen do you prefer? Blue
  11. Do you like to talk on the phone? Yes I find it comforting to hear someone’s voice rather than just texting.
Day 2 – 30 Day Recovery Challenge

Day 2 - What have you done to help yourself with your addiction/disorder? 

This question practically begs to be answered in a list.

  • I went willingly to the hospital and residential 
  • I participated in the programs at the hospital and at residential
  • I have given up or thrown away my “tools” on many occasions
  • I have gotten rid of triggers
  • I shaved my head!
  • I have eaten even when I didn’t want to
  • I have taken my medication always (unless I forget)
  • I’ve made sure that I get enough sleep
  • I have allowed myself to heal (physically and mentally)
  • I’ve set boundaries when I need to take care of myself first
  • I made this blog to inspire myself (and others)
30 Day Recovery Challenge - Day 26

Day 26 - What would you say to someone if they told you “I give up on my recovery. It’s too hard”?

I’m probably not the best person to answer this, since I have this feeling like ten times a day. Not like, definitively giving up, just sort of wanting to out of exhaustion and frustration and all that. But…what I try to tell myself, and what I guess I’d tell someone else, is that as hard and frustrating and difficult as recovery is, and as small as this chance might be, there is still a chance for things to get better. Whereas without recovery, with staying sick, there’s no chance. Things will stay as bad as they are or maybe get worse. With trying recovery, you’re not guaranteed anything great, but with giving it up, you are guaranteed nothing better.

radiantlyrecover-ed said:

Once you get this you must post 5 facts about yourself and send this to 10 of your followers (tag "beautifullyrecovered" so I can see your answers!)

Thanks, darling! Whenever I get these I feel obligated to come up with new facts instead of just doing the same ones every time. 

  1. I have a brother
  2. I’m short, but not the shortest person I know
  3. I’m one of those weird kids who likes school (ugh, I know right, I hate those kids)
  4. I will pick pencil over pen 9 times out of 10
  5. I am hungry right now and that needs to be rectified. (side note: I have eaten all meals today, I have not been restricting, I am just hungry because it is dinner time soon)
30 Day Recovery Challenge - Day 8

Day 8 - If you could go back in time to before your eating disorder, what would you tell yourself?

Oh lord. I would say so many things. I could go on and on here for like a foot of screen space. I could rant and rail for hours.

But what it would all boil down to is: don’t do this. It’s not worth it.

It’s not worth it.

It’s not worth it.

It. Is. NOT. Worth. It.

I’d repeat it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over until it sunk in, and then I’d say it again a hundred, a thousand, a million times. Because at the end of the day, it’s all you need to know, it’s all you need to believe and understand and accept as TRUE. 

It wasn’t worth it. It’s never worth it. Please don’t. Please.

30 Day Recovery Challenge - Day 6

Day 6 - Write a letter to someone who has harmed you or has made you feel bad.

Okay, I’m gonna call a cop-out on this one. The thing is, of course there are people who have harmed me, but thankfully, they are mostly far in my past. Dredging up those feelings again won’t be helpful for me, and isn’t necessary. I’d rather try to keep my thoughts and focus a little more positive right now, so instead I’m just sending a general GURL BYE to the toxic people from my past, knowing I’m better off for no longer having them around.

30 Day Recovery Challenge - Day 1

Day 1 - Write a letter to your eating disorder.

Dear You,

I am not usually in the habit of anthropomorphizing my eating disorder, but if I was going to talk to you as though you were a person - and you’ve certainly had as much if not more of an effect on my life as any human being could - I’d simply ask…why? Why did you have to come around, why did you settle inside me, why did I let you in, why did I not think twice, three times, four times, ever at all? Why did I think this was the right thing to do when I am smart enough to know better?

I lost so much, and gained nothing but misery and pain and struggle. I want nothing more now than to be rid of you, or really, to have never encountered you in the first place. But woulda coulda shoulda, right? And now I don’t know how to disentangle from you. Not emotionally really, because I’d be fucking thrilled beyond measure to gain some damn weight and feel better. But physically, it’s like you became a vital organ inside me, or like you’re an artificial limb in place of one I lost. My body and health are destroyed and because of that I cannot seem to wrench myself away from you.

I wish I could. God, I wish I could. You took and took and took and you told me you’d give back good things, but you lied. And I believed you. And now I am reaping what I’ve sown. And my only hope is to keep others from your grasp, to shout you down when you try to whisper to them, and one day hope that you’ll get tired of me and will wither away and leave me in peace, and let me heal, and let me live.

I don’t want you here anymore. But you never cared about what I wanted anyway. If only I’d know that from the beginning.

Alison

30 Day Recovery Challenge - Day 29

Day 29 - What are some of your favorite recovery blogs or sites?

Hmm, I’m pretty much only involved with online recovery communities on Tumblr, so some of my favorites here would be:

And they’re not explicitly “recovery” sites but I like the writing at ED Bites and Science of Eating Disorders.

30 Day Recovery Challenge - Day 28

Day 28 - What do you feel is your greatest strength?

Hmmm. I guess my intelligence, because it helps me sometimes to talk myself down from emotional freak-outs, to remind myself that my anxiety and fears and worries are largely baseless and are nothing I can’t overcome. I mean, it doesn’t always work, but being able to sometimes step back and be logical about something can help. Reminding myself that the way I see things is often skewed, and that I can’t always trust my first emotions or instincts, works well when it works. Which, I mean…isn’t very often, lolsob.

30 Day Recovery Challenge - Day 24

Day 24 - Has having a Tumblr helped or hurt your recovery? Why?

I’d say it’s helped, because it’s given me others to talk to and get support from who have been through the same shit, who know what they’re talking about (unlike a lot of professionals and pundits and such) and who just remind me that hope is always there. Also, lots of cute puppy and kitten pics are always a good thing :)

30 Day Recovery Challenge - Day 18

Day 18 - Have you found a Higher Power (doesn’t have to be religious)? If so, what is it? If not, do you have any beliefs?

Actually, yes. I don’t know that it’s directly correlated to my ED and recovery process, but in the past few years I have developed a much deeper sense of spirituality, devotion to the tenets of progressive Reform Judaism, and belief in God. There is so much I could say, but suffice it to say that this has been an incredible help and blessing for me, and thus I would hope people could see the benefit to an ill person in having something that makes them feel stronger, safer, and cared for. Also, that just as I feel no believer should judge a non-believer nor make assumptions about their character, likewise I do wish certain atheists/non-believers would refrain from judging those of us who believe in and love God. Trust me, the God I know is not the one that hateful bigots on the right usurp to push their cruel agenda, to demean and punish anyone who deviates from their accepted norms. No, the God that I believe in and that lives in me is the utter embodiment of acceptance and warmth and empathy and LOVE, and I know my days would be far darker without my belief. Being Jewish is an incredibly important part of my identity and my ability to live through each day, and God is a key component of that. This works for me. Selah.

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