Not A Care In the World
Quinn Fabray is not in his kitchen!
She’s also not in her clothes! Kurt doesn’t quite react fast enough to avoid seeing every inch of Quinn when he breezes into Rachel’s bedroom, thinking he’ll find his roommate frantically tearing through her makeshift closet in search of the perfect outfit for her date tonight with Quinn.
Who is naked.
In Rachel’s bed.
“Oh, my God!” he squeaks, slapping a hand over his eyes and spinning around as he attempts to blindly stumble out of the room without getting tangled up in the curtain. “Oh, my God!” he repeats, trying to ignore the shadowy image of pale skin and lady bits that’s currently burned into the back of his eyelids.
When he unexpectedly slams into a body, he screams, thinking that Quinn had somehow caught him and is about to tackle him (naked) to the floor and beat him to death for creeping on her while she was sleeping, but a hand is immediately pressed over his mouth as Rachel hisses, “Be quiet.”
Kurt drops his hand from his eyes and stares at Rachel. “Qui eh aykeh eh u beh,” he mumbles into her palm, causing her eyebrows to furrow before she removes her hand.
“Quinn is naked in your bed,” he tells her needlessly. Her eyes widen, and her face turns a deep crimson.
“I can explain,” she says in a rush, trying to drag him away from her bedroom.
“The nudity is fairly self-explanatory,” he muses, finally beginning to recover from his shock. He hadn’t thought that they’d progressed that far in their relationship yet, but good for them if they had.
Rachel shakes her head. “No. It’s… She was dirty.”
Kurt slaps his hands over his ears this time. “I don’t want the details.”
Rachel glares at him as she grabs his wrists and drags his arms down. “She was splashed by a truck on the street, and her dress got covered in sludge. It’s currently in the laundry downstairs.”
Kurt raises his eyebrows. It seems like a plausible explanation, except, “What happened to her underwear?”
Rachel blushes again. “She wanted to take a shower. I…I offered to wash her undergarments as well.”
“Oookay,” Kurt drawls. “But I’m still having trouble with the naked in your bed part. Because she is,” he reminds her with a grin.
“She…um…she must have fallen asleep when I was downstairs,” Rachel speculates, her eyes darting all around the room.
Kurt’s grin grows into a smirk. “Rachel, sweetie?”
“You do realize that you’re currently only wearing a silk robe that really doesn’t cover much of anything?” he points out, fully taking in her appearance—complete with mussed hair.
Rachel huffs, pulling her robe tighter around her body and scowling darkly at him. “You…we…I…damn it, Kurt! You weren’t supposed to be home for another hour,” she growls, turning on her heel and stalking into her bedroom before closing her curtain with a dramatic flourish.
Kurt laughs, and then he decides to go back out and forage for dinner, because he really doesn’t want to be in the apartment with Quinn and Rachel naked in the bedroom.