bamfatrixlestrange

wwohp story time!!!1!

kay so.

the first day we met up with poofle. and we went around pretending we were the marauders; i was james, poofle was lily, dallas was sirius and brenna was remus.

we went into ollivanders. dallas and i were giggling shit because it was so dramatic and intense oh my god.

and one of the chicks who worked there was all shh! and we were all i’m not a suitcase, you know

and then ollivander pointed to me

and i was standing there for a while cause i didn’t get it

and everyone was staring at me

so i was like ‘waaaaaaaat’

and then he was like you, come here

and i swear i thought he was gonna be all YOU’RE BEING DISRESPECTFUL GET OUT RIGHT NOW 

but no he was like what’s your name?

and i was like, james.

and he gave me a really, really dirty look.

so i was like ’…it’s short for jamie.’

and he just kept staring at me

and he pointed to some chick and was like 'do you know this girl?’

and i said 'hey man what’s up?' 

and ollivander was all poker face

and i was like 'well, i do now.’

and then he brought her up

and gave me a wand and told me to say lumos

so i did

and it was all ~*BANG CRASH*~

and i was like wat

and then he was all curious

and i was like wat

and he gave her a wand that was really ugly and twisty and shit i didn’t like it i liked mine better

and told her to use reducto on a chime thingy and all it did was chime

and he was all curiouser and curiouser

and i was like wat

and then he made us switch wands and it was all BAM INTENSIFIED 

and i was sad cause i got the ugly wand and i didn’t buy it

we also got stuck on a ride

okay so it was like 9 o'clock

and poofle’s mom was like “YOU CAN ONLY GO ON ONE MORE RIDE THEN WE’RE GOING BACK TO THE HOTEL.”

and we’d already left wizarding world so we went to seuss land

and we were gonna go on the fishy ride but the line was too long so we went on the train ride instead

and there were five of us in groups of two seats

so poofle had to sit alone

and she ended up sitting next to these kids

AND

THE RIDE GOT STUCK FOR A GOOD HOUR.

so the kid next to poofle calls his camp councilor and is all ‘i’m stuck on this kiddy ass ride next to some fat bitch’

and poofle turns to him and is like, 'i don’t appreciate your language, sir.’

and the kid’s like 'I DON’T GIVE A FUCK YOU FAT FUCK’

and she turns around to us and is like, 'i don’t like this kid.’

and he’s like 'i don’t like you either, fat ass’

and jesus this kid just starts swearing at us and calling us the n word and his brothers? friends? i don’t even know start getting involved and shit

and he called me a pussy ass

and i’m like

'what’s a pussy ass?’

and dallas is like

'yeah, we’re from canada. we don’t have pussy asses. just bagged milk.’

and we were sitting there singing like, starkid songs and warbler songs

and this kid is sitting there swearing at poofle

and i’m all 'don’t talk to my girlfriend like that’

and he called us the f word and shit

every time someone would walk past the ride we would scream 'help we’re getting harassed we’re stuck in seuss land’

and the bitches who were walking past just took pictures of us. i was real mad.

and then i proposed to poofle and only one person congratulated us :-(

anyways so like an hour later we’re still going on with this kid who we named dave

and they finally decide they can let us off

so one of dave’s friends? brother? whatever gets off and he just starts crying and dallas and i are sitting her laughing cause we didn’t realize he was crying

but he was like sobbing it was awful

so they let the rest of us off and we went down and we started walking back to poofle’s mom

and these group of kids from dave’s camp and shit came up to us and were like 'WHY DID YOU MAKE THIS LITTLE KID CRY?’ and the kid who was crying just like. dies and we didn’t even do anything!

so we starting cussing them out

and dallas is like, 'really, bitch? you wanna go?’ and some old man gets all up in her face and is all 'THAT’S ENOUGH!1! THIS ISZ A KID’S PARK!!1!’

and i’m fighting with them ready to cut them

l o l and poofle literally had to pull me away cause i was flaming 

and this bitch says something i don’t even remember

and i’m all 'FUCK YOU’

and she’s all ’what?

and i’m like 'FUCK YOU. DID I FUCKING STUTTER?’

AND SHE THROWS HER BAG

ON THE GROUND

AND CHASES AFTER ME

but someone grabbed her or whatever i don’t even know

anyways yeah fun times at seuss land 

klainest asked:

maybe ): but my mom might be all
NO!!!!!!!!!! U NO MEET FRIEND HERE WE'RE GOING TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
which technically it's not her funeral she died a few years ago we're burying her ashes is that the same as a funeral
but she already said "if we go we won't be there long only two days probably" so idk man ;__;

can i come to the funeral

klainest asked:

i can't go to canada tho
i don't have a passport and it's so expensive plus i'm going to disney in september and maybe new york at the end of august and indianapolis in november on my birthday and if i scrap up enough money fundraising i'm going to paris next summer with my school
i'll be poor after all that
i'll have to eat out of dumpsters and wear the same clothes for days because i can't afford to wash my clothes

i meet you in new york

you take me home with you