“You’ll tell yourself that he was never really worth it anyway but then you’ll cry an ocean just before you fall asleep because he doesn’t say, “I love you,” anymore like he used to and it fucking hurts because he promised he would be yours forever and you would be his so now without him you’re so empty you
and you’ll crank up the temperature of the water higher and higher until it burns and stings because its better than that feeling you get in your stomach when you think about the way he used to look at you and the beautiful words that tumbled out of his mouth and infected your whole being like a kind of drug that affects everything you do. Love.
But now he won’t even look at you and he never says beautiful things anymore, only words that start fires in your heart, the kinds of fires that destroy everything in sight. The kinds of fires that kill.
And the tears keep coming yet the fire never stops raging and the way he made you feel one year ago will still be in your veins and it’ll keep you warm even on the coldest of days but sometimes that warmth is just too much and no one can see it yet but it’s slowly melting you from the inside out and before you know it you’ll just be a muddy puddle he’ll avoid stepping in.”
He was the only person who made you feel alive but now that he’s gone you’re dead inside again