BREAKING NEWS: For years, marine biologists have been trying to determine why various species of whales breach (propel their bodies out of the water and into the air). However, a recent study performed on humpback whales has proven that this high flying stunt is actually whales’ way of saying “screw you” when they no longer want to deal with what is going on under the sea. Whether its pesky siblings, annoying crabs, or ogling octopi, if the whale is not having it, they’ll throw themselves into the air.
“He was drunk out of his mind and he looked at me with adoration but still never uttered that he loved me. That’s when I knew, if he couldn’t love me then, when all his darkest secrets were being blurted out and fumbled touches shared, he never would.”