“Those who object to maintaining order and resolving conflicts [without using punishment, guilt or blame] often sound like this: “Well, these kids have got to learn respect for authority! That’s what we’ve got to do, to get these kids to respect authority!” And I usually respond, “Do you want to teach kids to respect authority, or to fear what you can do to them when you’re in a position of authority?” Many of us, educated in a Domination System, are not aware of the distinction between the two.
I would define respect for authority in this way: in a classroom, if the teacher knows something that the students value, and she offers to teach it to them in a noncoercive way, they will learn to have respect for her authority. But she has earned that respect, not demanded it. The student is the final authority about whether or not the teacher has authority, a truth which students clearly demonstrate every day. Fear of authority masking as respect for authority is easy to get; just give the people with titles the legal power to mete out punishments and rewards.”
Life-Enriching Education Nonviolent Communication Helps Schools Improve Performance, Reduce Conflict, and Enhance Relationships.
By: Rosenberg, Marshall B..