aurelienne

anonymous asked:

this guy and i got to third base...but i;m terrible at handjobs!! help me? :/

if you got to third base, i doubt knowing how to give a good hand job really matters that much anymore.

Funsies!

A TAG GAME!

-tagged by aurelienne

RULES:

- post the rules, answer the questions that the tagger supplied in the post, make eleven new questions for the people you will tag, tag eleven people and link them to your post, let them know you have tagged them

Aurelienne’s QUESTIONS:

- If you could engage in any ‘bad’ habit without experienced negative repurcussions, what would you choose? (e.g. smoking, eating junk, etc.)

-Well I already quit smoking and just finished a brownie sundae so there goes that one. I would probably go back in time and sleep with my High School History teacher ;)

He was the dreamiest of dreamys.

- If you could live in the world of any TV show, which would it be?

Dawsons Creek! Hah! Just kidding…Probably True Blood. Hot vampire sex in the sweaty heart of Louisiana. & i’ve always wanted super powers. 

- Biggest turn-on; biggest turn-off?

My biggest turn on? I’ve said this before & I’ll say it again: dirty talk!

Biggest turn off…bad breath. Also lack of intensity/passion. Gotta put in the same amount of effort I am monsieur/madame

- Did you have any traumatizing experiences/irrational fears as a child that you reflect on now and see as ridiculous?

What an awesome question. Too many to count though. I was crippled by the fear of tornadoes as a child. Driving through storms would send me into hysterics. Also, vomiting. The better half of my middle school years was spent crunched in the back of the class praying I didn’t hurl on my classmates. 

- Best compliment/worst insult someone could ever direct at you?

 I was told a couple weeks ago at a party, “You are too intelligent for me to find you attractive, your combined qualities are a turn of” It was truly galling.

Best compliment? I love when people tell me they love my taste in music!

- Name a piece of art (can be visual, music, film, dance…etc.) that really inspires you and why: 

Anything Woody Allen sends me into a daydreaming frenzy.

- Describe one person in your life that really pisses you the fuck off. Go ahead and vent, bb :)

Hah a certain someone who dislikes me for no reason..typical eh? She’s got a poker shoved way up that bony ass of hers. 

- If you could live in any era of history EXCEPT for the 1960s-70s (everyone always picks these so I had to spice things up a bit mwa haha), when would you live and why?

the 40’s! Inspired by the Song ‘Black Coffee’ by Peggy Lee.

- Name something you believe in.

no judgements okie?…..Ghosts.

- Name something you disagree with.

-Each and every Republican canidate running for Office ‘12

- What are you most excited about for summer?

My trip to Paris in July!! WhoOOooO!! 

MY QUESTIONS :

-What’s the best route to your heart?

- What’s your “quirkiest” habit?

-Are there any childhood possessions you still hold on to? (I still have my blanky…)

-3 celebrities to fuck, marry, and kill (these are always fun)

-What is something you fantasize about, sexual or otherwise?

- When have you ever felt more alive?

- Top 4 places you want to travel

-are you young at heart, or an old soul?

- Early bird or night owl?

- Do you have any unpopular opinions?

-Tell me about your best friend

A TAG GAME!

-tagged by fudddle

RULES:

-post the rules, answer the questions that the tagger supplied in the post, make eleven new questions for the people you will tag, tag eleven people and link them to your post, let them know you have tagged them

FUDDDLE’S QUESTIONS:

-would you ever get a tattoo, and what of? i’m in two minds about this but i have many a tattoo plan. i want ‘seeing stars’, ‘beauté intérieure’, or a really smart, ironic line from a radiohead song either across my ribs of on the inside of my right arm, one of those white ink ones on my lower lip or wrist, and then go really mad and get a few tiny stars tattoed all around, but then i have this really ugly ‘FIN’ tattoo/scar that i sort of attempted on myself which i need to get rid of before i can do any of those other tattoos.

-who are you closest to in your family? my dog. or on a human level maybe my brother.

-do you have any lucky numbers? umm any prime number

-whats your most recent added song on itunes? this really awkward one direction parody

-favourite movie, pick only one? george of the jungle

-do you prefer dark or light hair on boys/girls? sorry to be diplomatic but i think as long as its natural and not mousey brown it looks nice either way

-describe your most recent outfit? well right now i’m wearing grey trackies and this holey navy jumper, very inspired i know

-favourite place to hang out with friends? my back garden

-one skill you wish you had? to be able to play an instrument well

-number of friends you really trust with your life? 3, maybe 4

-was this tag super fun for you to do? YES!

MY QUESTIONS:

-what would be your last meal if you were on death row?

-what song are you currently listening to on repeat?

-whats the most indecent thing you’ve ever done (i’m looking forward to see your answers to this the most)?

-if you could change your nationality, what would you change it to and why?

-what did you do for your last birthday?

-what will you name your children?

-do you/will you smoke/drink/do drugs?

-your birthday?

-what is your greatest accomplishment?

-whats your middle name?

-and this is a rubbish last question but i need all your opinions - should i or should i not get my nipple pierced?

HOES I TAG AND WHO BETTER DO THIS:

-aurelienne, cheapsundays, pocahonntas, stayy-true, tat-art, lonelyboys, anxieteen, minxwinks, pastellerose, incesant, wishingskiesoflue, ragkook and gapteethandnoserings

ps. yes i do realise i tagged 13 but picking just 11 was too hard.

self-depricating gratitude

I really will never understand how I have been fortunate enough know some of the people I know. And make out with the people I have made out with. I really haven’t deserved it in any way, but I’m listening to some beautiful music and realizing how lucky I am to have convinced these extraordinary human beings that I am worth knowing. HUMANS. beautiful, beautiful people. jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezus.

Objectively

I fell asleep thinking what people would call ‘bad’ thoughts last night and I woke up with them this morning. I’m used to this routine and I see the fuse edging closer down and the cycle repeating itself all over again. And I’m starting to realize that when you’re stuck in this kind of circle it doesn’t mean that you can necessarily take yourself out of it with any transformative action; maybe it’s just time to stop everything completely.

For me, it’s getting sick of people I thought I loved. Confusing myself, acting erratically. Feeling out of control of my actions because I don’t know who I’m acting for anymore. Feeling betrayed, having contempt for people I trusted. Feeling strong because I can see all of this from this vantage point. Feeling sheer disgust for myself for all of this internal confusion, haughtiness, undeserved self-satisfaction, indulgence, deprivation, sadism, grief, unworthiness, mourning, heedlessness. Trying to care but forgetting how. Above all, remembering who I really am, just a disgusting, worthless masochist, rotting herself and everyone around her because of what she really is. It’s time to stop fighting what I am. It’s getting very tiresome.

Maybe I’m just not supposed to be around much longer. I don’t believe in fate, but I don’t think you can really negotiate a belief in birth and death, organisms emerging and expiring from existence. That’s the only destiny that can be proven: death. Are you really going to try to tell me that it’s advantageous to try and stop the natural course of my deterioration? You’re just trying to keep something around whose time it is. Once you’re wiped out you’ve stopped the clock. Death is natural. Some people just have to go earlier. At least that way their beauty is preserved, they aren’t kept around long enough to fester.

It’s funny how we’ve compiled names for all of these feelings that bring people closer to their own conception of mortality- depression, psychosis, maladjustment, on and on, etc. etc. Mostly because humans think that if they can index things, artificially link them to a tangible reality through language, that they can be extinguished. We’d kill anything else if it ensured our own survival, even if it just grows blacker and blacker when it could have been easily let go and buoyantly swept up in the wind.

But like most other human inventions, “treatment” is completely fake. I’ve been to therapy and I got a lot out of it. Clarity. I saw patterns. I learned the mechanics of my own disorders. I saw how the things that are wrong with me bred themselves from the interwoven threads of genetics and environment. I was drilled on the steps I would have to take to “fix” everything, to tidy up all of my chaos, learn to check myself so no one would be able to tell. You know, if they line us all up and try to single out all of the fucked up ones.

Here is the main thing I learned: everyone has the ability to help themselves. To “fix” yourself. To turn into the person that everyone wants you to be. But do you really want that? I didn’t. That’s why I’m not fixed. The only reason I’m not dead is because I’ve been brainwashed so much that I think it’s better for me to keep living and trying and torturing myself with this wrenching feeling of inadequacy, because everyone has always told me that the standards you fucks made up are worth it.

I am, I am still living by your rules and I am still chasing your standards but now all of it is a simulation. I’ve fooled you, haven’t I? I’m a monster now, I am playing your game to tangle it up and strangle myself. Now I am nourished by this bitterness. There’s one thing left to quench, but you’re too afraid to say the words so you make up other ones to keep the game afloat. You drug us up so we’re dragging ourselves across the earth, half alive. We’re sub-human now, the same life in vivid colors all around us but with only a partial capacity to live it. It’s not worth it to me anymore. Don’t waste this beauty on me.