ask-ma-chao

Challenge Accepted!

Ziming, I accept your challenge! A limerick with Shadow Runner in it, it is!

The Tragedy of Shadow Runner

There once was a steed of pure black

With old Cao Cao up on its back

But dumb as rock

He let it get shot

Now he rides a steed of pure crap.

[OoC; I love how me and Fab caught onto the same thing. xD; POEM FAUX PAS]

anonymous asked:

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day in a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a pickle?

Is… is there a rough conversion chart for hens to monkeys and eggs to pickle seeds? And can half a hen lay an egg… and… does if matter if the leg is wooden and– Augh! This question, it is an attempt to break my mind, isn’t it!? You will not have the pleasure, math! For while I failed you, you were never as necessary in the fight for justice as creative writing and social studies!

(Where is Math Professor Ziming when you need him…)

fuckyeahlumeng-deactivated20120 asked:

Is it Walnut or is it Chestnut? And why isn't it white no matter what name it is?

Ah, horses, my favorite subject! There is a simple answer to that. You see, there is actually a Walnut and a Chestnut. They look very similar, but upon close inspection, Walnut has a very small dark speckle on it’s left hock and a better disposition. Perhaps next time I am tending to the horses I can point it out for you!

As for why it is not white, we own many horses. My favorite warhorse is indeed a brilliant white, but I make sure to treat every horse with great attention and care. I’ve noticed they get jealous if you favor just one for too long!

askjiaxu-deactivated20120122 asked:

On average, how many times a day do you find yourself shouting "JUSTICE" like an idiot? 5,000 or so?

Pah! Someone such as yourself would obviously think that way. How could anyone who cries out for justice be an idiot!?

But yes, roughly around there, give or take a dozen. I try to keep up on it. Why do you ask?

Does anyone know how to get blood out of silk?

Because somehow me undoing Lu Meng’s belt buckle became messy.

Also, I’d advise that no one uses the river for a while and that we increase the obviousness of the restroom signs! And mark them on every map! My helmet and long-term sense of smell may depend on it next Friday.

Quick question; Argh! Which one of you let Walnut drink!? Who has muddled my horse!? She’s leaning on me and rubbing my face.

anonymous asked:

Is it better to have peanut brittle crumbs on your lips or flies in your eyes?

What– Flies in my eyes!? Having any insect there would be unpleasant, wouldn’t it!? Just thinking about it makes my eyes itch, and I cannot scratch them.

And what is peanut brittle? A food, I assume. Crumbs of even the most bitter food would be preferable.

What a strange question. [/rubs eyes furiously] Arghh!

thefabulousmachao asked:

Cloneqi! Why do you favor Walnut when Chestnut is so much better?

You and I have the same expertise in horses, so why is it you cannot see Walnut’s superiority? It’s is the name on our Voice Gallery menu! Walnuts are far tastier than chestnuts! It has the speckle on it’s hock! The speckle! It clearly sets it apart from it’s almost equal Chestnut!

That’s it, we shall settle this like true sons of the Ma clan. Horse race through the palace, now! The loser also admits the other is better dressed!

anonymous asked:

YOU FAIL AT JUSTICE.

How dare you! I am brimming with the very spirit of justice! I wield my spear in its name, I ride my horse into battle for its glory, and I every meal I eat is to guarantee I have the caloric intake necessary to uphold its honor on a daily basis! Prove to me that there is any other more devoted than I!

anonymous asked:

Would you write a poem cmoparing your horse to that other Ma Chao's?

I would be happy to!


The Two Horses

Though they look like reflections

there is much that differs

One stands above

the other is a shadow

Walnut’s grace as she thunders

past her bulky sibling

Clear to all eyes

t'is the shadow who follows

Both are great, both are mighty

But the bespeckled one

is quick and brave

Her sibling is a brat

anonymous asked:

JUUUUUUUUUUSTICEEEEEEEE!!!!111!!!!!11111@11@1212!

Yes! Let us ride out and wield our blades for it!

But wait, you go nameless? You do not wish to let evil know your name!? Cowardice and shame have no place here!

… and now I am beginning to think that you’re mocking me!

anonymous asked:

Who is the sexiest lady out of the three kingdoms? ;D The one you'd sleep with?

Oh well, there are many fair maidens spread amongst the kingdoms! A growing number, actually. We have to replace the younger male officers who keep mysteriously vanishing with suspiciously familiar looking women. I wonder…

But after much consideration as to who I myself would choose? I had to rule out the women who repeatedly use tricks and manipulation (for it is a most unattractive trait), the women of dubious legal age (for that would be very unjust of me), and the wives of my lords Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang (because I do indeed value my job).

I would have to say Lady Zhu Rong of the Nanman. She is strong, beautiful, has a fiery personality, and quite the admirable figure– Wait… Do not kill me, Meng Huo! I would never sleep with her behind your back!

thefabulousmachao asked:

MA CHAO V2! LET US BRING SWIFT JUSTICE UPON THE WEI!

OOC: Yaaay~ I have a Mengqi clone~

Indeed we shall! Let us combine our forces against them! Not that just one of us would have any trouble trampling them, but together our might will be unstoppable!

Although, I want the white horse. My outfit looks better with the white horse.

OoC; Yaay! I have a… uh, Mengqi DNA sample donor! xD