This is a PSA: If you are allistic you do not get a say in anything that has to do with autism.
You get to shut up and listen to autistic people. Period.
It doesn’t matter if your child is autistic, or your nephew or your sister or ANYONE else. If you yourself are not autistic you don’t get a say.
You also do not get to speak over actual autistic people and say “Yeah but my *insert relative here* is actually autistic and isn’t like you and they really struggle!”
Guess what? We do not struggle because we are autistic. We struggle because of our environment and our needs not being met. Odds are that if the autistic person you know has a hard time it has nothing to do with their autism and everything to do with the people and stimuli around them.
So stop trying to speak for us and over us and shhhhh.
Listen to us. We’ll tell you what we need and how to help us and whether or not what you’re saying/doing is offensive to us. We get to decide what we’re capable of and if we feel like you’re respecting us properly.
"But what if the person in question is nonverbal?" I hear you ask? Well, allistic person, that doesn’t mean they’re incapable of communicating. There are many ways to communicate other than verbally and they still reserve the right to speak for themselves. You are not "their voice", it is not your job to speak for them. Sit down.