artatrocities

WHO THE FuCK ARE ALL OF YOu PEOPLE. WHAT THE HELL WENT ON WHILE I WAS ON DERSE.

I GOTTA ROAST SOME POOR CHuMP WHO THOuGHT IT WOuLD BE A FuCKING BRILLAINT IDEA TO TRACE ONE OF MY *SISTER’S* FINER PIECES OF ARTPuKE. BuT WHEN I GET BACK I SWEAR TO GOD. ALL OF YOu ARE DEAD. OH. AND I’LL RESPOND TO THOSE QuESTIONS. BECAuSE. WELL. SHIT. A LITTLE ENLIGHTENMENT GOES A LONG ASS WAY. uNLESS YOu’RE A STuPID NOOKSNIFFER WITH NO BASIC COMPREHENSION SKILLS. WHICH IT APPEARS ALL OF YOu *ARE*. BECAuSE YOu DESIRE THE ANSWERS TO THE MOST DuMBASS INQuIRIES. I MEAN. DO YOu REALLY? HAVE TO ASK. THAT IS. THE uGLY TRuTH IS STARING RIGHT INTO YOuR POINTLESS FACES.

2

SERIOuSLY. YANK SOME MOLARS. I SENT YOu ON A GODDAMN MISSION OF THE uTMOST IMPORTANCE. MEANWHILE BOBBY DAGEN CONTINuES TO MOCK uS WITH HIS NEAR LIMITLESS BLOOD SuPPLY AS YOu ATTEMPT TO CODDLE ME THROuGH THE FuCKING INTERNET. I’M PEACHY. THE RIPEST. JuICIEST PEACH OF A PASTEL ORANGE HuE. IT CREATES THE MOST TANTALIZING SENSATION FOR THE EYES AS IT DOES FOR THE TONGuE. YOu LOOK AT THIS PEACH AND THE FIRST THOuGHT THAT RuNS THROuGH YOuR THINKPAN IS *FuCKING JEEPERS!! THIS IS GOING TO BE THE MOST FLAVORFuL THING I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY MOuTH. IT WILL BE BORDERLINE EROTIC. I CAN’T WAIT TO GOBBLE THIS BASTARD uP THEN PuNCH MYSELF IN THE FuCKING FACE.*

LONG STORY FuCKING SHORT: I LOVE HAVING SCISSORS LODGED IN MY SKuLL.

anonymous asked:

TT: You got to be kidding me,an ask blog?you always said you were busy but with this?hahaha.

WELL. YOu AIN’T DIRK. SO I’M GONNA JuST. ASSuME. THAT “TT” STANDS FOR “TITTOuCHER”. AND I AM GONNA DIRECT YOu TO SOME TITS. CAuSE I AIN’T GOT ANY. AND NEITHER DOES *SHE*. (DO YOu HEAR THAT *SISTER*? YOu’RE SO DAMN uSELESS I CAN’T EVEN OFFER YOu uP ON THE BuTCHER’S BLOCK. LIKE SOME KIND OF TWISTED FLESHBAG AuCTION. WHERE THE TWIT WITH THE MOST BOONBuCKS GETS TO FONDLE HIMSELF uP SOME MEATYSACKS.) SO WHY DON’T YOu TRY. THE DRuNK ONE. BuSTY LALONDE.

ALSO. I AM IN FACT A BuSY GuY. SAW DOESN’T WATCH ITSELF.

OH. TROLL JOHN KRAMER. I AM BuFFING MY POLES TO YOu TONIGHT.

anonymous asked:

What does "tumut" even mean??? >:?

LET ME. FuCKING EDuCATE YOu. YOu IGNORANT DOuCHENOZZLE.

tUMUt IS THE DOuBLE DEuCE. THE uLTIMATE FuCK YOu. TWO FINGERS RAISED HIGH IN THE AIR. LIKE MAJESTIC SCEPTERS OF HOLY FuCKERY. FuELED BY MY uTTER DISGuST. HATRED. AND uNCONTROLLABLE RAGE. I’M SO GLAD YOu ASKED BECAuSE  HERE’S A NICE. BIG. FAT ONE FOR YOu.

BuT. I CAN BREAK THAT SHIT DOWN FOR YOu. IF YOu’RE NOT FEELING IT.

t <– MY FuCKING HAND.
u <– MY EYE.
m <– MY TEETH.
u <– THAT SECOND OCuLAR. FOR SuPERIOR DEPTH PERCEPTION.
t <– THE OTHER HAND. DOuBLE THE FuCK YOu FuN.

I CAN MAKE IT. DO OTHER THINGS. THOuGH. BuT ONLY IF. I PARTICuLARLY LIKE YOu.

I OFTEN.

u///m///u

AT. DIRK.

OR.

umu/<3

ONE TIME.

I GAVE HIM.

A HEART.

I SHOVED IT DOWN HIS FuCKING THROAT.

HELLO AGAIN. CALERA.

I’M AFRAID I DON’T HAVE ANY uNIVERSAL WORDS OF WISDOM TO DEPART THAT I HAVEN’T ALREADY SHARED. AND WHILE I WOuLD YET AGAIN LOVE TO RECITE JIGSAW’S AGENDA THE MESSAGE HAS ALREADY STuCK TO YOu. MAKING MY STATuS AS A BROKEN RECORD ENTIRELY TEDIOuS AND uNNECESSARY.  MY ACuMEN KNOWS NO BOuNDS. HOWEVER. AND MY SPIRITuAL GuIDANCE CAN BE TAILORED TO FIT ANY SITuATION. SO IF THERE’S A SPECIFIC PROBLEM SuPPuRATING IN YOuR POROuS SPONGE I’M MORE THAN CAPABLE OF OFFERING A FuCKING OuTSTANDING SOLuTION.

HIT ME uP ON MSPARP AND WE’LL INDuLGE IN SOME GOOD OL’ FASHIONED MASTER/APPRENTICE BONDING. JuST GIVE ME A SHOuT OuT TO WHEN YOu’LL BE ON AND I’LL ADJuST MY SEARCHES ACCORDINGLY.

LATER. GIRL.

tumut!